Saying the RIGHT thing.

I wrote a brief blog a few days ago that received quite a great deal of attention.
It was a blog about saying the wrong thing.
This blog entry came out of a chance conversation I had today with a dear friend
It's about saying the right thing! 
It's a true story.

My friend recalled the time her mother died.
Decisions were made about her care home that wrongly upset siblings and soon after her mother eventually passed away after a short illness my friend was left devastated, guilty, and incredibly tearful with her sisters' anger to deal with as well as her own grief and loneliness

Soon after, hen she was back home,  there was a knock at the door and a woman my friend didn't recognise stood there requesting some apples she had for sale. Strange as it would seem, the woman, who looked Romany, wanted only red apples not green, explaining that her mother liked only red.
My friend was initially irritated, but because the woman had mentioned her mother, she obliged with the request, which pleased the visitor.

As she was leaving, the gypsy turned to my friend and looked her carefully in the eye.
" You know you have nothing to feel guilty about " she said gently" You have done nothing wrong" 

It was all the vindication and support that my friend needed and she sat at the kitchen table and sobbed and sobbed as a great weight left her shoulders.

Trelawnyd's Gardens

These photos are from the best gardens in Trelawnyd judging morning

Which is a follow on post from the previous one

Enjoy! 

Mr Butler pointing out Alun Hughes' good points! 

Sanda Cameron with her flower bike

Chelsea Eat Your Heart Out!

Mr Butłer and Trendy Carol 

Today, my time will be split somewhat unevenly between a Elvis lovng professional vegetable judge and Winnie's new " babysitter"
Not many people can say that.
Today is the day that Mr Butler will adjudicate the entries in the best garden classes of the show.
Now Mr Butler is a national judge of some reputation and standing. He has over forty years experience in the field and is so passionate in his work, he has even  had his own particular medal manufactured so that any exhibit that particulary catches his eye, he can award them " The Mr Butler Medal of merit" , a prize much sought after in Flower Show circles.
This year I shall be accompanying Mr Butler with his judging. The job is usually undertaken by village matriarch Irene , but she is away today. Trendy Carol was going to be asked to act as chaperone, as Mr Butler has a noticable soft spot for her, but she is unfortunately working. She will, however, accompany him at the show itself, ( no doubt wearing something reassuringly expensive! )

I shall post some photos of the garden entries here on this blog entry later!

I mentioned Winnie's new babysitter did I not? Well that is a kind of thumbs up for facebook I must admit. - in a short time The Prof and I are off to see his family in Kent. As usual the Olympian event which is the organisation of animal care had to be faced, and as usual , it never ran smoothly.
The Welsh terriers are off to kennels together, George has been booked in for his usual pampering by my sister and her dogs and Winnie was earmarked to go to the very comfortable home  of a bulldog fanatic and friend. ( bulldogs cannot with the slightly utilitarian nature of professional dog kennels)
Unfortunately my friend sort of let me down at the last minute so I resorted to facebook for some ideas.
Within 5 minutes of posting a plea for ideas, an ex colleague, and dog lover had messaged me with the offer of a week's  bulldog pampering ( subject to interview) so Winnie and I will be visiting her new babysitter to see if her pet dog gets on with the old gal.
" I can't off her four walks a day, but I can offer her a whole lotta loving"  the facebook reply said
The effective and positive side of facebook me thinks!

I'll post you some photos of that meeting later too!
Hey ho

The Queen's Speech

Going Gently has been somewhat downbeat recently.
and again the news today has been somewhat distressing.
It feels as though damaged, mentally fragile people around the world have been pushed into acts of violence by the atmosphere of fear and publicity of hate.
We all need some good news.
A bit of lightness.

Now, I feel it's time for another novelty vegetable photograph but I think I have received most of the entries I am ever going to. We have almost fifty of them so far which is a wonderful achievement! So if there is any outstanding can you send them in asap! Closing date for entries is Monday 1st August.
Here is one I have been sent but cannot enter because it was not the work of the person involved.....sweet eh?

Anyhow, like I said it's time for good news.
I hope this will set a few smiles back on a few faces.

As the secretary ( and  the Chairman) of the Flower Show it is my responsibility to find an opener for the day. The job of the opener is pretty easy. You come to the show, sit on your own dainty table with tea and cakes and give a speech extolling the virtues of showing your best knitted cardi or prize winning marrow.
The Prof gave a stirring address last year and before that the vicar did his bit, and over the years we have had the Chair of the community council, leader of the conservation group and local double barrelled county council representative to do the honours, but the one person who really deserved to open the show has always eluded us.

Auntie Glad, the committee member who has been with the show 44 years, would never want to make a speech in front of the village she has spent her whole life serving. She is , quite simply , not the sort, but over the past few months, as Gladys has faded and become more frail, I have spent a little time talking to her around her kitchen table, making notes about what she would say if it ever was to happen .

Of course Gladys would never make that speech herself. Her natural modesty, her deafness and now her blindness would never allow her to take such a role on.
" The job should go to someone important in the village" she said at last year's committee meeting
The irony of such a remark lost on her

A few days ago, I spoke to Gladys' daughter, who has the incredibly hard job of trying to support a frail old lady who possesses the fiercest streak of independence since Boadicea rode her chariot. I accepted that we understood that Gladys may not be well enough to attend the Show but I wanted her daughter to know that Gladys ( or more specifically her words) will indeed open the show she has helped run for going on half a century.

I will read out Gladys' opening speech this year., and I shall be incredibly proud to be doing so

It will be her memories that will will be shared.
It will be her thanks that will be given
And for once, in public, it will her that will be given the limelight, in what we perhaps expect will be her last show.

Open Range

Last night I watched the superior western Open Range ...it featured my favourite actress Annette Benning ....
If I was straight .....she would be the type I'd go for!
Natural, spunky and rather windswept

Who would  you go for if you were on the opposite bus?
Do tell.....

A Friendship Ended

As usual, it is the comments on Going Gently that have proved to be much more interesting and poingnt than the post itself. Such is the power of blogging and bloggers.
There is always someone out there with a more interesting story than yours.
If you get a chance read my previous blog's comments.
The story " Doc" left was, I thought a terribly sad one.
Two sets of best friends sit down at a boardgame evening. Over a minor disagreement over the rules one guy blows up, says some unforgivable things and storms out with his wife.
A long term relationship broken over sudden and unaccountable anger.
Now I understand why family members sometimes fall out, (The ties between relatives are not chosen links as they are between friends) but the break down of a friendship seems somehow much more sad to me .
Years ago, when I lived in York. I had a close friend I was very fond of. We played badminton together, sank pints in our local The Hole In The Wall together  and shared a love of cinema like geeky men do in their twenties .
He was a friend I felt I knew very well , so much so , that I was often welcomed into his parents home for meals and family parties.
Now, I know York looks rather scenic and quaint but like any city, it had it's darker side and I remember one night leaving the psychiatric hospital I worked at at the same time the nearby football team kicked out at Bootham Terrace.
I cannot remember what team was playing York, but I do remember the electric energy in the air as running skirmishes erupted between rival supporters in the terraced streets.
On the corner of one road, I could see three men scuffling with two others who were  in the doorway of a shop and I was flabbergasted to see my friend as one of the protagonists .
Our friendship ended there and then.
It was ended by my shock of the excitement and obvious enjoyment my friend showed in the violence  he was involved for it was like watching the face of a fox hound homing in on a running fox.
I was looking at someone I didn't know and didn't like .

He never saw me that evening, and I never explained why I dropped him as a friend soon after, which is something I still regret.
I just disappeared from his radar .
A friendship destroyed by a moment of madness.

Saying The Wrong Thing

YI'm tired.........and was not going to blog tonight........

I had an intriguing conversation with a colleague at work today.
She was talking about an arguement with a family member
And said that in a row, " there can be certain things that are said that never can be unsaid"
It's never happened to me
But it's an interesting premise
Has it ever happened to you?
What has been said that never can be unheard?

Weekend in work

Working all day today and tomorrow x