What Fresh Hell Is This?

Well that was an hour and a half that I won't get back!
On a whim of nostalgic loyalty the Prof and I went to see Absolutely Fabulous -The Movie this evening. I didn't expect that much; film versions of half hour sit coms never come out very well.
But this effort, which is more reminiscent of the 1970's Holiday on the Buses, is truly, truly awful.
Whether it is the limp script or tired actors but the famous Sanders and Lumley chemistry is just not present and I spent 90minutes feeling rather sad for the desperation of it all.
2/10

Flirty..Flirty!

I saw the affable despot Jason this morning. He is off to the South of France soon and takes a pragmatic view on recent events. " Don't read the papers and don't watch 24 news on tv" he told me
" They whip up paranoia"
I agreed with him, for anecdotally,  I have noticed at Samaritans, an increase in calls from the mentally ill recently.
Personally I put this down to unrest and change as reported by the media. Terrorism , political upheaval, civil unrest.....it all takes it's toll on the fragile of mind.
Around the corner from Jason and his floppy hair, I met the postman who was discussing the Nice and Turkey events with Mrs J, Mrs P and Vera ( I don't know her surname initial)
Stout hearted characters all, but all worn down just a little by the news blasting it's fear into their homes every lunchtime.
" We need some good news" one of them chirped up and I agreed when I remembered last night's flirty and vivacious Ann Atkinson who is the new Musical director of The Trelawnyd Male Voice Choir. Her bon viveur certainly has brought a spring in the step of the testosterone filled ranks of the choir, as she oozes her sexy cougar charm in every direction.
This may be a salient lesson for us all.
Doom and gloom feeds on itself, what we all need now is some flirty good humour.

So who is your Ann Atkinson? Who would you like to harmlessly flirt with over a grand piano?
Who ( apart from spouses of course) could lift your spirits in this glum world
Answers on a postcard please!

http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/local-news/woman-makes-history-trelawnyd-male-8608915

MVC

The Trelawnyd male voice choir  in the village hall this evening

They are in their summer t shirts! 

Chutzpah

We have a small " posh" housing estate on the edge of the village. It comprises of just a dozen " upmarket" properties. Strangely enough, I don't sell more raffle tickets there compared with anywhere else in the village.
One newer resident looked somewhat confused when I introduced myself
" I already bought some Flower Show raffle tickets!" She said
" That's strange!" I replied " I'm the only one selling them!"
" No" the woman said " I've bought them off an old blind lady the other day " she came around with Ann" pointing to a nearby house where Ann, a school teacher lived.
The penny dropped,
Auntie Glad had struck again.
 I went round to Ann's house to find out what was going on.
Ann was laughing yet was incredibly concerned, for Auntie Glad , for  without having our official raffle tickets to flog the old gal had manufactured her own tickets to sell even though she literally cannot see her hand in front of her face.
Luckily Ann had rushed out of her house and had safely chaperoned Gladys around the houses then back home
Another resident sounded rather exasperated when I called
" She can' t be allowed to do these things" she said " she's not safe" 
And all I could do was to shrug my shoulders
I should have been wearing a  nun's wimple as this verse came into my mind

" How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?" 

I will leave you with these novelty veg entries

Camille's bridesmaids

Gayle's monster! 

" Would You Just?..."

I hate selling raffle tickets

But it's a job that needs doing.
I know which householder will hide behind the curtains when I knock on the door, and I know who will buy a load from me, but I am not as talented a seller as the master Auntie Glad, who used to sell 500 door to door well into her 90's.
I must have got three dozen requests from Trelawnyd residents about her wellbeing yesterday. Being a diminutive old lady features high in the sympathy stakes when wanting people to be parted from their cash.
My chirpy smiley approach just cannot quite compete.
This afternoon I shall knock on more doors, give out more schedules and schmooze more villagers into entering their impressive blooms and oversized vegetables!
The guy from the still House may enter his bread this year, as will Affable Despot Jason who is thinking twice about giving the Adult novelty veg a go, given that he won second last year with a truly awful butternut squash creation! ( and it was shit).
One of the new residents in the pensioner bungalows used to be a multiple winner in the Mostyn Flower Show and she toyed with me somewhat about entering her baking even though she doesn't like the village.
You've got to be a serial politician doing this job!
Gay Gordon and Big Mary bought a huge handful of raffle tickets from me and cackled and laughed like drains as they did so........while a few doors away one miserable old fart literally slammed the door in my face with a curt " no!" when I waved a raffle book at him.
I'm taking Mary with me this afternoon.
Cute sells!

British Politics Is Now Interesting!

George Osborne given the boot by Mz May! 

Bloody hell, a few months of politics have passed and I'm hooked!
Another formidable woman is in charge of our country, Boris Johnson is our voice to the world ( !) and Mr Cameron leaves number 10 with his head held high.
What an exciting time!
I've been watching the relay storyline of the new Cabinet with interest only to have a brief break to watch  long lost family on tv tonight!
God I was sobbing like a broke whore when the dirt poor Central American woman met the grown daughter she had been forced to be adopted by a uk couple due to poverty and desperation.
She knelt at her daughter's feet begging forgiveness as the invasive cameras rolled...
I cried like a baby

Gut Feeling

Been dancing around today catching up with outside  jobs as the weather ( for the first time in a week) has been somewhat more than kind. I've washed the car, bought white gloss to paint the backdoor ( 18 months in the waiting! ) and visited the vets to get the dogs weighed and wormed .
On the way home I walked them on the Dyserth walkway, and amongst the social walkers out for their constitutional was a man I have come to mistrust deeply.
I say this only in passing, as it is a rarity for me to mistrust anyone, but for some reason this man totally gives me the creeps when I see him out walking.
I have only a gut feeling to go on, but there is something rather sinister about this character, something off.
Normally I would never really bother about a hiker in his early 70s , apart from a short " hello"........ they tend to all look a like to me . Designer waterproof jacket, ski sticks , woolly hat if its cold and shorts when it's hot. Backpack....you get the idea, but this guy, who I often pass is always alone and always uncommunicative .
He is pale has what my imagination would describe as  cold dead eyes and always looks incredibly angry and/or preoccupied and I always have the unsubstantiated idea that he has a propensity to violence.
Of course this sounds all very drama queenish , and when I share the thoughts with you now, it all sounds rather far fetched but gut feelings are there for a reason and my gut feelings about people have often proved to be right on the money.

Perhaps he's just shy, or ill, or both, perhaps he's just eccentric or autistic in some way, but I don't think it's as simple as that. For what it's worth , I think he's dangerous

So, my question to my readers today is......
Have you ever had a gut feeling about someone which turned out to be the right call?
I'd be interested to know the story!

***************************************************************

I'll leave you with two photos. The first is a study of  two Welsh terriers on either end of the age spectrum
Old William with his milky blind eye, and Mary full of youth and exuberance. Typical of the Welsh breed, they stood together on the armchair for an age today, watching the bickering of two blackbirds

The second is the latest entry in the International Novelty Veg class and is a study of a cat by Jenny!
Keep 'em Coming!

A Brief Story Of Rejection

The fitter came yesterday to measure the front of the cottage for new windows.
Winnie was apoplectic when he arrived at the back door in his overalls.
I've told you before that she loves blue collar workers.
Before I let him in the house,I asked him if he minded dogs and he gave me a frown
" I could live without them" he said.
So, before I let him in, I locked the terriers up in Mary's crate in the kitchen and when eventually he walked in, I pointed to Winnie ( who was doing her best to smile coquettishly at him) and said
" The bulldog is friendly"
The fitter snorted nervously .....and we all went into the living room.
He got his tape measure out and started to do his thing as Winnie climbed onto the arm chair so that she could get a better look, and as he wrote down his figures she leaned over to watch, her nose centimetres from his notepad.
He ignored her.
He then went on to explain the whys and wherefores of just how the windows opened,and as he did so Winnie continued to look hopeful and blew him kisses with fat lips but he continued to behave that she was invisible.
We all trouped upstairs where the window measuring continued.
This time Winnie jumped up on the bed so she could have a better look at the workman and without thinking he put his tape measure down at her feet whilst he made more notes.
Winnie immediately picked up the tape measure in a desperate  effort to ingratiate herself but the fitter saw her actions as predatory and demanded that I retrieve it immediately .
I wiped the bulldog slobber off with my t shirt.
He wasn't best pleased.
Winnie blew kisses at him as we exited the cottage, and all the way through the kitchen and down the garden path he refused to accept her presence even when she practically did jazz hands at him to get his attention .
He simply didn't like dogs and it showed and Winnie was devastated.
She pressed her fat face against the bars of the garden gate and watched his car as it drove away, then snorted loudly and flounced back into the cottage where she hurled herself into the armchair to sulk.
And sulk she did.
For hours and hours!

********************

I'll leave you with latest novelty veg/fruit entry

This catterpilker is from Jan 

Keep your entries coming please! 

jgsheffield@hotmail.com