I hate selling raffle tickets
But it's a job that needs doing.
I know which householder will hide behind the curtains when I knock on the door, and I know who will buy a load from me, but I am not as talented a seller as the master Auntie Glad, who used to sell 500 door to door well into her 90's.
I must have got three dozen requests from Trelawnyd residents about her wellbeing yesterday. Being a diminutive old lady features high in the sympathy stakes when wanting people to be parted from their cash.
My chirpy smiley approach just cannot quite compete.
This afternoon I shall knock on more doors, give out more schedules and schmooze more villagers into entering their impressive blooms and oversized vegetables!
The guy from the still House may enter his bread this year, as will Affable Despot Jason who is thinking twice about giving the Adult novelty veg a go, given that he won second last year with a truly awful butternut squash creation! ( and it was shit).
One of the new residents in the pensioner bungalows used to be a multiple winner in the Mostyn Flower Show and she toyed with me somewhat about entering her baking even though she doesn't like the village.
You've got to be a serial politician doing this job!
Gay Gordon and Big Mary bought a huge handful of raffle tickets from me and cackled and laughed like drains as they did so........while a few doors away one miserable old fart literally slammed the door in my face with a curt " no!" when I waved a raffle book at him.
I'm taking Mary with me this afternoon.