Life's A Drag

Driving home this morning from work I noticed that the newly re opened village pub ( The Crown) is having a Halloween " do"
Apparently a drag queen with the rather dubious title of Leslie Lush will soon be taking centre stage; no doubt she will be bobbing for apples with the village farmers and trick and treating with Gaynor the mad organist......drag queens and Halloween?
Is it me but it's not a pairing that automatically go together.....I must also add that
I'm not a big fan of drag queens on their own if the truth be told!

I was once punched in the face by a ugly drag queen called Kitty Litter
It was in the Roxy night club on Bootham in York in the late 1980s and I was trying to climb onto a bar stool after a somewhat lively night out with a group of psychiatric nurses, when I slipped and fell into a rather large middle aged " woman" in a sheath white gown, spilling her drink.
She turned around suddenly , and showed a shop worn face pancaked in make up, badly applied lipstick and a noticeable five o'clock shadow.
She looked dreadfully familiar

" Hello Mum!" I chirped up sweetly.
I never saw the fist coming .

Lock Your Doors

The old Well in Well Street Trelawnyd

It was well st and not Welsh Street that the robbery took place

This story appeared in the local paper

Click here North Wales Daily Post

The " Brave Woman" I know fairly well. She's a mom of two and stories about her ordeal have circulated the village like wildfire and have ranged from a tale of how she chased the thief down Well Street to how she was beaten up at the kitchen sink.

Whatever happened , it must have been a terribly upsetting experience and it has reminded us all in this rural part of North Wales to lock our doors at all times.

I think I have been lucky, but I have been the victim of crime on perhaps three occasions in my life.

I've had a cheque book ( remember those?) stolen years ago and the thief tried to use it in a Jewelry Shop where by kismet he was served by my twin sister. An opportunistic thief walked into our sheffield home and walked away with the Prof's laptop and of all things a small Japanese bowl and here in Trelawnyd someone lifted the Prof's old moped during our biggest and most successful Open Allotment Days........But I have never caught someone in the act.

It makes me think just what I would do if I did.

Would I grapple with a stranger to protect our belongings?

In the US, shooting an intruder may seem more acceptable than it would here. 

I saw Gay Gordon this morning and he bellowed that any ginger haired sneakthief would get a swift boot up the arse if he caught him rummaging through Big Mary's knicker drawer.

The humour glossed over the fear that such an event has obviously caused him and many of the other locals.

How many of you have been the victim of crime? and what did you do about it? 

I would be interested to know.......

JSS - The Walking Dead

From Cookie Queen to hard ass killer

Carol is the pin up of all middle aged men and women everywhere

Played like the most taught of movie thrillers this episode is one of the best episodes EVER from The Walking Dead.
With the alpha fighting population away, Peaceful Alexandria is suddenly attacked by the scavenging murderers, The Wolves. The existing Alexandrians are totally unprepared for such savagery and scores are massacred  before Carol turns the tables with Morgan in tow.
Visceral, exciting and technically impressive, The Walking Dead just gets better and better.

Spencer.......weak but cute as a button

Lady Mary

I've hardly had a minute to wipe my arse let alone write a blog entry.....
I had forgotten just how maintenance some puppies can be.

Well Mary is a confident little bundle. She is not shy. She is not nervy and she will need careful handling as she has the potential for becoming rather too big for her boots.
Her grandfather was supreme champion at Cruffs in 1998
So I suspect like Lady Mary from Downton
" It's all in the breeding"
William and George have accepted her immediately. They are taking a somewhat quiet approach to the interloper and she in turn has rather brightly " not pushed things too far"
She head rubbed Albert and has not chased him as yet, but I see he is ready with one paw raised everytime she appears. There will be tears before bedtime , I suspect but that is the way of things.
Winnie , sulked most of last night. Strangely she seems more afraid of the puppy than anything else, and only brightened up after I gave her a rather robust fanny rub with her second best flannel.
She's keeping her distance as you can tell from the video.........
Bulldogs hate change.

 

Right I have a casserole to make, 2 hourly toilet training to start and Old Trevor next door wants me to shake his apple trees

Downton ? What Happened

Downton Abbey! 

Is it me but what happened tonight?

Bates and Anna cleans some shoes

Lord Grantham puked up blood over the linen  

And

The sweet natured Baxter did fuck all in court.

Heyho

Meanwhile 

New girl Mary slept next to a neurotic bulldog in front of the fire

Mary " Woodlands Blue Moon"

Mary has arrived!
George has been friendly.
William is his usual good natured and accepting self.
Albert tutted and walked off to kill something
And
Winifred is sulking by the back door
Let the chaos begin

New Car

The Prof looked stern but wasn't 

 " It's a runaround but I want it kept clean" he said

( sighing) I replied with a tired " Alright"...I had just worked night shift.

"  No scotch egg wrappers, no secret KFC boxes under the sear.... No empty diet coke tins in the boot"

" yessssssssssss"

He continued

" No shitty dog bums on the back seats, no bulldog snot on the windows and absolutely  no FANNY FLANNELS  in the glove compartment"

" Ok" ( I thought he had finished)

" I want it serviced regularly, cleaned weekly and I don't expect to see any turkey on the passenger seat"

" Right!" 

" oh and I don't want to see scrape marks on the side of it, like the Berlingo" 

" You scraped the side of the Berlingo" I reminded him quietly

Silence......

Three People

I hurried up to the garage shop to buy bread.
There was no one about, except the ubiquitous Mrs Trellis and her greyhound cross Blue.
They were heading for The Marian.
As I stopped to say hello, she waved her hand for me to listen and half spoke/ half whispered a poem.
It was her own poem about Blue, and the things he " saw" and experienced on his morning walk.
It wasn't long and when she had finished, off they went together quite happily.  Mrs Trellis in her neat hat and Blue trotting quietly next to her in his matching coat.

I was taking in this little vignette of Trelawnyd when I spied "Kitty" walking purposefully down High Street . ( Kitty is the maker of the now infamous slippers of sex) . Now you don't see Kitty very often as ill health ( rheumatism and bad gums) usually keeps her indoors, but today Kitty was a woman on a mission.
" Hello John Bach " she called out .
I asked her where she was off to
" The council workmen finish working on the pensioner bungalows today" she sang out " and the buggers have two of my best buckets!"

Bernard " The German" was outside the cottage when I got home. He wanted eggs.
" vere is your car?" He asked pointing to the oil stain on the empty drive
He always sounds like Captain Geering  from " Allo Allo"
" It died" I told him and Bernard shook his head seriously
He looked depressed
" We have a  Volkswagen....I vont my money back"

I'm living in a parallel universe