New Car

The Prof looked stern but wasn't 

 " It's a runaround but I want it kept clean" he said

( sighing) I replied with a tired " Alright"...I had just worked night shift.

"  No scotch egg wrappers, no secret KFC boxes under the sear.... No empty diet coke tins in the boot"

" yessssssssssss"

He continued

" No shitty dog bums on the back seats, no bulldog snot on the windows and absolutely  no FANNY FLANNELS  in the glove compartment"

" Ok" ( I thought he had finished)

" I want it serviced regularly, cleaned weekly and I don't expect to see any turkey on the passenger seat"

" Right!" 

" oh and I don't want to see scrape marks on the side of it, like the Berlingo" 

" You scraped the side of the Berlingo" I reminded him quietly

Silence......

Three People

I hurried up to the garage shop to buy bread.
There was no one about, except the ubiquitous Mrs Trellis and her greyhound cross Blue.
They were heading for The Marian.
As I stopped to say hello, she waved her hand for me to listen and half spoke/ half whispered a poem.
It was her own poem about Blue, and the things he " saw" and experienced on his morning walk.
It wasn't long and when she had finished, off they went together quite happily.  Mrs Trellis in her neat hat and Blue trotting quietly next to her in his matching coat.

I was taking in this little vignette of Trelawnyd when I spied "Kitty" walking purposefully down High Street . ( Kitty is the maker of the now infamous slippers of sex) . Now you don't see Kitty very often as ill health ( rheumatism and bad gums) usually keeps her indoors, but today Kitty was a woman on a mission.
" Hello John Bach " she called out .
I asked her where she was off to
" The council workmen finish working on the pensioner bungalows today" she sang out " and the buggers have two of my best buckets!"

Bernard " The German" was outside the cottage when I got home. He wanted eggs.
" vere is your car?" He asked pointing to the oil stain on the empty drive
He always sounds like Captain Geering  from " Allo Allo"
" It died" I told him and Bernard shook his head seriously
He looked depressed
" We have a  Volkswagen....I vont my money back"

I'm living in a parallel universe

Credit

I worked a shift at Samaritans tonight.
We answer emails as well as phone calls...
I was lucky enough to read a measured, supportive and ever so clever email reply from a SAMS branch from Southern England to an actively suicidal correspondent. The distressed writer returned an email, and it was obvious that the whole  view of his life had been turned around by a few well chosen, heartfelt and powerfully appropriate words from a nameless, talented and unpaid volunteer.
How effin amazing is that? 

6 Year Old Sass

Eve and Liv

Yesterday afternoon the girls and I collected apples from the surviving orchard trees from behind the cottage. The intact apples we washed and bagged up for home, the bruised windfalls we carried to the field and in a fit of glee smashed on the floor so that the geese could feed on them.
The Prof spied us from our bedroom and opened the window. He called out in mock annoyance
" Have you girls got my dinner ready?"
I repeated his request to Eve and Liv who were busy wiping apple mush from their school shoes and six year old Liv rolled her eyes rather theatrically
" Husbands ! " she sighed with all of the seriousness of Judi Dench " always moaning about something!" 

Hoochi Bar

In the centre of the village there is a council property which has always looked, well, rather shabby. Recently it's owner moved out and amid a flurry of council workmen , the inside has been upgraded and improved upon. Unfortunately the garden, which resembled Coventry AFTER the bombing! Had not been improved upon.
I got a glimpse of the potential new tenants a couple of weeks ago when out delivering apples.
They were being shown around by a council rep.....and looked .....well.........a bit........rough.
Today I walked past with the dogs. The property had black plastic bags sellotaped up over every window. I presumed the new people where wanting privacy when they were decorating.
Mrs Trellis walked up.
" what do you think of the bin bags" she whispered nodding at the covered windows " it all looks a bit sinister if you ask me"
" It's a drug den" I told her seriously and as she pursed her lips with worry I added playfully " it's probably a brothel too"
" I don't care if it's a top class hoochi bar" Mrs Trellis snorted loudly " as long as they tidy up the garden...it's a disgrace !"
Village life

We bought a car today too...a sweet smelling red hatchback....... Then it was back home for the school pick up

Today's after school activity

Disemboweling  the pumpkin 

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Late One

Late post today......been out and about trying to find a new car....which is tough given the fact there is only one bus out of the village .
Thanks to village elder, Islwyn  who dropped off some coal for us.......its amazing just how you rely on a car when you live in the country.
I think I've found one though...and it's ever so clean!
Not one dog snot stain to be seen ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!

We take so much for granted in this modern world.........don't we ?
Water out of the taps
Electricity to run the cooker
A supermarket 3 miles away
We are only one short step away from social disintegration
Come the zombie apocalypse.

The Walking Dead Season 6

Ok ....series 6 has started.........with biblical scale zombie hordes, a complicatedly large cast, a bite of humour and Daryl playing mr sensible Pied Piper , The Walking Dead got off to a cracking start.
Ok the plot has a few holes the size of Swiss Cheese .....ok......Rick's single mindedness is getting on my tits somewhat.....and ok Carol is still wearing her flowery blouse ( with Morgan being the only one to suss her out ) but its great to see the whole zombie brains, kill feast back on the small screen....
Of course I think episode one is a set up.....With most of the Alpha characters out in the field Alexandria is now populated with the women, the weak and the children..... With only Carol , Maggie, and Rosita and a few others around to save the day from the Wolves who are all waiting in the wings.
Watch out for Episode 2.