Things That Depress Me

• Radio 2 's "Sing something simple" on 1970s Sunday evenings
• Stupid people that enjoy being rude
• David Bowie
• Dog paw prints all over the house on a wet day
• School dinners and the memory of warm milk in small milk bottles
• Being skint
• Arriva trains wales
• 1980s decor
• Dirty hotel rooms
• Tinsel 
• Poundland or ASDA in Kinmel Bay
• 1970s haircuts
• Christmas decorations after boxing day
• Women in sleeveless tops with their bra straps showing
• The daily Mail
• Babies on aircraft
• Caravan holidays
• Sunday nights before school
• Poor management at work
• Easyjet
• A drunk mother
• A poorly made scotch egg
• Rhyl
• Ingmar Bergman movies
• Mashed Swede
• Impersonal readings at funerals
• Choir boys singing carols
• Smelly dishcloths
• People that sit near me in the cinema
• Closet gays
• A  cold bathroom when I'm in the bath
• A gin and tonic without ice

• A watery gin and tonic 
• A gin and tonic in a plastic glass
• Bad nursing care
• People that don't like dogs
• Hershel's death in The Walking Dead
• Being 30
• Farting too much when I bend over
• Feeling old
• Slugs
• International news
• Plugholes

Can Secrets Be Survived ? 45 Years

Second post today!

I had to grab the opportunity to see  "45 YEARS" with both hands as it only had one showing at the Scala  and that was at 1pm in the afternoon. Shame on Prestatyn-ites too as I was the only bloke in the cinema, more fool them as this is one of the most powerfully acted movies I have seen in a long long time.
Set in an Autumnal  Suffolk, the story centres , quite claustrophobically,  upon Kate and Jeff , a comfortably well off , left wing couple approaching their seventies. Kate's world is her husband and the pair fill their cultured days , reading, pottering around the house and preparing for their 45 year anniversary party. A party that was postponed for five years because of Jeff's cardiac surgery. Out of the blue Jeff receives a letter stating that a former girlfriend's body has been found 50 years after she disappeared after a fall into a Swiss Glacier, and in the days that follow we follow just how this news affects the couple as Jeff mourns the vigour of his youth and Kate obsessively explores a former love of which she had little knowledge of.
It's an unsettling and incredibly powerful film and a triumph for Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay who play husband and wife.
Rampling carries the whole film as Kate, a woman who is shaken to the core with the realisation that she was not the first love in her husband's life . Through a score of quietly painful scenes we watch as Kate veers from icy passive aggressive politeness to repressed fury and confusion as she unearths ancient truth after ancient truth . Rampling's control of these scenes  make the whole movie so believable.
There are no histrionics, no emotional romping, just a very believable set of conversations between two people that know each other so very well but who are experiencing very different reactions to old age, dependency and love.
It's rare to see two seventy somethings dominating a film so completely......and Rampling and Courtenay are class acts..........if they don't dominate the BAFTAs and Oscars next year..there is no justice....
9/10

8 lbs

Fat club was a bit of a trial this week
8lbs on!
What was I eating in Australia ?
LARD?
Luckily my fat club leader is one of those laid back, "couldn't give a stuff"  types so no one pointed their fingers at me shouting " BAD SHOW FATTY!".....
" Most of that will be off by next week" she said with a shrug
She's an inspiration !
Anyhow,
Yesterday I did two 2 mile power walks around Gop Hill and already this morning I' ve done one.
At least the weather improved, so my post Australia blues were blasted away somewhat even though the village seemed deserted when I was out on my rounds

I haven't seen Auntie Glad for a few weeks but I knew she was alright as her trusty deck chair was set up outside her front door. When there's afternoon sunshine she's often seen sunbathing.

I'll have to tell her not to scone bake for us for a month or so...

Bake Off

Albert is still hogging his position in front of the tv......and was most upset when I moved him so I could see " Bake Off" at 8pm.........it's getting much better now since the poorer bakers have been booted off.
I like most of the last five competitors .
Flora is sweet and funny. Nadiya gnashes her gums a lot, Paul is a mature gay man's dream and Tamal is a young gay man's dream........only Ian remains the slight outsider....a fact that the producers will be quite happy about....every tv programme needs a baddy.
This week poor Matt left the tent.......he fucked up his " Charlotte Russe" when he baked his ladies fingers too close ..........I hate it when that happens

Mental Illness & Animals

Do animals suffer from mental illness?

Now there's a knotty question for a Wednesday morning!
I got to thinking about this as Jeremy Kyle blasted out from the ipad when I was doing the washing up. It was a result of an early morning knock on the door and the arrival of another waif and stray.
For wrapped in a tea towel on the draining board, waiting for a good squirting with the ubiquitous antiseptic spray was a small bald hen.
" she's been bullied by her pen mates" her owner shared almost tearfully
...."And for months now she has been pulling at her own feathers"
The lady pointed at the hen's abdomen which was covered in sore pecked spots and small tufts of feather quills. She did indeed look a mess.
I felt for the owner. The poor woman was a bit fraught herself. Obviously the dream of a few happy and healthy chucks pecking around calmly in her back garden had changed into a bit of a nightmare for her. The self harming hen had left her all of a dither.
Now there is many reasons for this behaviour. Sometimes it's a broody thing. Sometimes it's a diet thing. Mites and skin problems may be a reason too but just occasionally a hen can just be mentally damaged in some way , just like people can be .
And like mental illness in the human population, the treatment of such a condition can be somewhat problematic.

I have seen " depressed" animals in my time, animals that look like the spark has gone out of them.
More often than not there is a physical causation for this, and often without medical intervention the animal will invariably die. But often a " listless and depressed" look may be just the simple result of a group animal being lonely.
Herd and flock creatures need to feel secure and part of something bigger.....
It's not rocket science.
Odd, destructive behaviour in dogs is often a product of their owners' stupidity and inappropriate care giving rather than to a mental aberration. Nurture is vital when dealing with animals.
Treat an animal with calmness, common sense and consistency and you will generally get a balanced animal in return .
Not always, but generally.
The final rule for good animal care is to make sure you treat the animal , like an animal.
They may be the love of your life but they are not little people.
Treating a dog, for instance, like it was a human child , is dangerous.
Dogs need to be treated differently....in a breed appropriate way...they need to understand you in dog terms...

And so what are my plans for this sad little hen, wrapped up in her tea towel on the drainage board?
Well I have now sprayed every bit of bare skin with purple skin cleaner ( to stop her pecking at blood spots) she has had some antibiotics, and has been placed into a clean run on her own, but in full view of the other hens. I rang a lady in the village whose son owns hens and have arranged for a very young teenage cockerel to be dropped off. He will hopefully bond with the sad little hen and when both are given free range on the field he will protect her from bullying. Cockerels are programmed to stop fighting.
I checked her carefully before returning her to her run. She looked calm and had bright eyes
She could have been mad as a box of frogs inside that little head of hers
I have no way of knowing
Waifs and stays

Waifs and strays

A Letter From Trelawnyd

Our last holiday snap....Nia's very Aussie son George photobombing us!

Dear All,

We have swapped a big sky  for a much smaller one , and jet lag woke me up at 5am when the three dogs and Albert accompanied me for a dark walk.
Trelawnyd seems very quiet.
Australian birds, even in the night are bloody big mouths. They chatter like trailer trash girls after too much beer.
I missed the animals here, but all is well with them.
Albert, funnily enough , has, I think missed everyone the most, for he was effectively left " home alone" with only a daily house sitter's ten minute visit a day to keep him company. He has not left our side since our return, and has presented us with two dead voles ( gifts that he made sure were seen and appreciated) . During my post holiday veg out in front of a re run " Bake Off" , he stubbornly sat facing the tv within our line of view........
I think he just wanted to be noticed.

Winnie, George and William each had  varying amounts of pampering in their respective holiday breaks so all have returned happy, healthy and smiling to the fold.
Winnie had been dispatched to the care of Norma and her very elderly retired guide dog Max, so has effectively  been spoilt rotten .

I asked Norma for a precis of news and received a rather poignant observation of Winnie's gentle nature for on an evening she would join the ancient, slightly demented Labrador as he sat in the dusk sunshine and both would look out over the garden together like two old ladies on a park bench.
" she has a sweet heart" Norma observed...and I felt like I had just watched my child win a spelling bee at school.

George was at my sister's house, so has returned home looking cleaner, neater and happy in the fact he was allowed to do his own thing. While my sister's dogs hunted for frogs together in their vast garden, George was happy pottering around the house like a housewife with a duster...
It's clearly his second home.

And William.....what about William?
Well the kennel owner said he bounced around barking hysterically with all of the other goo-goo eyed dogs separated from their owners.
" He CRAPPED right up the walls of the run" she observed with a chuckle " how DOES HE DO THAT SO HIGH?"
" It's a lifelong skill" I replied  " That's my boy"

Teenage boffin, Cameron and the neighbours have looked after the animals well.....only one casualty to mention....a ten year old buff dropped dead with cabbage leaf in her mouth. The other hens, Geese and the sheep are all well, health and hearty!
But it's cold and raining today........
And the prospect of bleaching the toilet and scrubbing old mouse secretions from the living room carpet leaves me pining for the Warmth of Australia's spring......

I'll leave you with a small belated selection of mini reviews from my marathon film watching on Singapore airlines.......it's keeping me diverted from housework, the fact that I have put on at least 8 lbs in weight ( fat club today ! ) and the rain.......hey ho!
If you have missed these movies first time around .......make sure you see them .

DANNY COLLINS
Now I have never been a fan of Al Pacino....I have always found him rather too " on the go" but this tale of a coked up, booze ridden old rock star seeking redemption for a hollow but successful life is a little
gem of a movie.

Pacino is wonderfully playful in the title role and clearly from the outset he is
happy to let his fellow stars steal the limelight from his flirty, but sincere portrayal of a man wanting to atone for his mistakes . Annette Benning playes the  manger of a bland backwater hotel who is not afraid to tell the star what she thinks and thir scenes together have warmth and sassy-nesswhich is charming.
Bobby Cannavale and Jennifer Gardener are given the same courtesy of their fair share of the good lines in their roles of Collin's estranged son and his wife and Christoper Plummer almost steals the show with his role as the singer's foul mouthed, wise cracking agent....
Its a lovely sweet movie that will make you smile ( and at the end sob)

FORCE MAJEURE
This cold study of a seemingly strong relationship  shaken to the core by a sudden moment of instinct was a standout for me. It centres upon a well heeled Swedish family Tomas & Ebba ( Johannes Kunhace and Lisa Loven Kongsil)  and their two children who are enjoying a skiing holiday in the Alps.

At lunch in a mountain cafe, the family is caught up in a terrifying avalanche and in the face of what everyone thinks is certain death, Ebba grabs the children whilst Tomas grabs his phone and runs.
The film then explores the fall out Tomas's' behaviour  has on himself and his family.

Not an easy watch but a very powerfully put together film. It's worth a view.

GRAVITY
Now I missed this first time around, and was reluctant to see it as many people I know thought it was a bit of a drag, but even on a small aircraft screen , I thought this was an old fashioned,  edge- of- your seat movie.Clooney and Bullock have seldom been better.
I loved it.

So there you have it, my return letter from Trelawnyd....it's back to normal now.....the Prof has left for work in South Wales for the day and I need to mop the wet paw prints from the kitchen floor

Johnno x x

Reunion

Reunion no 1
More to go
I'm buggered

Singapore

It had to happen....
I got on the plane in Sydney and sat down right next to badly behaved
7 year old who chomped his way through a whole handbag of goodies and litres of sprite. His mother couldn't or wouldn't control him and knew only one word of English which was "toilet" which she used liberally as the fat little tyke was up and down like a whore's knickers.
By Singapore I could have strangled the little bastard.
Hey hop