It had to happen....
I got on the plane in Sydney and sat down right next to badly behaved
7 year old who chomped his way through a whole handbag of goodies and litres of sprite. His mother couldn't or wouldn't control him and knew only one word of English which was "toilet" which she used liberally as the fat little tyke was up and down like a whore's knickers.
By Singapore I could have strangled the little bastard.
Hey hop
I got on the plane in Sydney and sat down right next to badly behaved
7 year old who chomped his way through a whole handbag of goodies and litres of sprite. His mother couldn't or wouldn't control him and knew only one word of English which was "toilet" which she used liberally as the fat little tyke was up and down like a whore's knickers.
By Singapore I could have strangled the little bastard.
Hey hop
Oh John, I'm so sorry, I laughed at your misfortune!
ReplyDeleteHope he's not on your next flight!
X
Just remember, it is not the child's fault. He might be better off if you thought about strangling the mother!
ReplyDeleteOrf with his head !
ReplyDelete~Jo
Parents are to blame for incidents such as this John - obviously the kid was never trained in the rudiments of public behavior, among adults, in tight quarters etc. Too many parents now leave such important lessons up to school teachers which is totally wrong - all good behavior starts at home.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he will also have weight and health issues later too.
Hoping the next leg of that long journey is much better - or can you swap seats with Chris, I'm sure he'd oblige LOL!
Safe journey - you may even be home by now!
Mary -
'Training' children? Teaching them how to behave, perhaps.
DeleteHow long was the flight to Singapore? I didn't realize that whores wore knickers.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet that herd of animals waiting for you at the end are going to look especially endearing.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to we should of had kids.......? !!!
ReplyDeleteOh, merde! And you the captive 'audience'! Even John Candy sitting next to you might have been an improvement! (Ref: 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles').
ReplyDeleteThis is all so you will feel nothing but joy at being home, regardless of anything.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart!
ReplyDeleteWhat did he do to deserve that?
DeleteLittle kids behave better on planes when they are seated with strangers. Even kids who are well behaved seem to mess with their parents when they get tired, and a parent who actually used methods to put an end to that behavior would be called abusive.
ReplyDeleteClearly, John - you were meant to have animal children.
ReplyDelete(Kids these days drive me nuts too - and their permissive parents!)
The times I have looked in on your blog and nearly choked myself as I am generally having a nice cuppa you should have a government warning attached.
ReplyDeleteYou are very good at saying exactly how it is. I defy anyone to sit in a confined space with a screaming/hyper etc little person and come out at the end without wanting to do what You wanted.
It must have been torture
'Hey hop'? You've picked up some of the local dialect.
ReplyDeleteOr the little bastard's mother...
ReplyDeleteOnly the other day you wanted children didn't you?
ReplyDeleteDid you and the Prof not manage to get seats together, or hasn't he come back yet?
ReplyDeleteAh, try to feel sorry for the young fellow. He is going to grow up under the thumb of a mother who hasn't taught him the proper things and be an outcast as a result. On the other hand, maybe he was just having a bad day, too - too much travel, too much sugar, and bored to tears.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, weren't you just saying you should have had kids ...?
oh god I would have died. That would have driven me mad
ReplyDeleteI found being seated next to large sweaty fellow who had problematic indigestion to be worse than any child.
DeleteHope you have some time in Singapore to enjoy the sights and forget about the little monster... and that your next flight is childless.
ReplyDeleteChildren don't travel well.
ReplyDeleteThe parents are the real problem.
ReplyDeleteBack to normal then? lol x
ReplyDeleteduct tape and a ball gag would have worked wonders.
ReplyDeletesmooches! john's example is 1 of 928374650 reasons I am NOT a parent!
DeleteHoped the trip home would be better....
ReplyDeleteOh the poor little darling boy! Having to sit next to a grumpy fifty something Welshman! Why didn't you read him a story or play "I Spy" with the little fellow? "I spy, something beginning with E!"....No? EXIT DOOR! Now shurrup you spoilt brat or I will chuck you out of it without a parachute!
ReplyDeleteIt should be compulsory to have kiddie straight jackets on every plane.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNow what would you know about whores knickers? Hope you are safe home by now. X
ReplyDelete29* in Sydney tomorrow ( Tuesday) John. Spring time! Hurry back.
ReplyDeleteAt least that was the shorter leg! We once had three lovely young German men get on at Singapore and push their seats right back for the whole 22 hour flight to England. This despite them also having the emergency exit seats, so lots of leg room. I could have killed *them* by the end of the trip too!
ReplyDeleteAfter months of not viewing your blog (sorry) I cannot believe the coincidence of you going to Aus, our youngest prodigal daughter is now there after moving on from NZ. We too are jetting out in January to Australia so will read your Aus blogs to get a taste.
ReplyDeleteHope you don't get the seat kicker on your next leg of the journey - far worse than the kid next door !
We once did a short flight to Scotland and a child was crying all of the way so I know how you felt.
ReplyDeleteStill never mind you'll soon be home with the animals, much better than kids. lol
Briony
x
At least he wasn't sick all over you .... be thankful for small mercies ;-)
ReplyDeleteWe were all annoying children once.
ReplyDeleteAaargh! I can't think of anything worse!
ReplyDeleteI would have strangled the mother!!....with 'looks'.
ReplyDeletehad to read this post "out loud" at work....such a lovely way with words
ReplyDeleteDon't strangle the little bastard. Strangle the mother and hope she's sterile....
ReplyDelete