3.03 am

What a surprise!
Mention that you hate a country's gun law and you inflame several " loyal " readers who think you are taking a side swipe at everything and anything they hold dear......
Which is bollocks.
Anyhow So be it....... Like my old boozy mom always said after drinking all the Gordon's " You Can't please everyone"
My problem, ( and I know it) is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I write about feelings and think people know me ...... And the sad truth is that they don't .
Like I said so be it.
I am typing this at work....... No...I am not skiving......I am sat in a dark side room watching over a sleeping patient on a ventilator. The patient is comfortably dreaming what I hope are sweet dreams and I have another three hours to go on shift. I cannot leave the room until relieved
and I had a pee an hour ago.
I have time and space to think.

I am feeling rather melancholy which is a product of being tired with my own thoughts.  I am missing the Prof and his Roger Moore eyebrow. I am missing Meg too......with her overly anxious button- brown eyes and her unhealthy need to be glued to me ..that old Welsh Terrier was a bigger part of my daily routine than I gave her credit for
Oh and I am missing scotch eggs...I haven't had one in 9 days
And after yesterday and all of the blog debates...I am missing good humour .

I cannot function properly without good humour . I am, by nature a humorous person.
I am drawn to it ......if Lisa Tarbuck ( God she makes me laugh) or Victoria Coren Mitchell or Sue Perkins  were sat at the nurses' station , I would be right there in the middle of them ......
I don't like unsmiling days

Hey ho

" Aaarrrrrrrrhhhhhhh Jim lad"

Well Guns seem to have got emotions running somewhat high, and so I shall change the subject with something I saw this morning.
As I was passing Big Mary and Gay Gordon's bungalow I noticed that their usual Welsh Welsh flag which is usually flying from their own flag pole had been replaced .

WTF?

Gun Law.............America ........

The Prof is now on a small boat in the Whitsunday Islands

Nothing much happened yesterday. No traumas, no bulldogs jumping out of burning buildings , no cats abseiling off cliffs ..........it was a day for fumigating hen houses
The Prof called very briefly. His bottom lip was quivering a little and he was just saying hi before getting on his wifi free catamaran on the Great Barrier Reef.... He will be incommunicado for the next week........ I won't speak to him until we meet at Sydney Airport.
It'll be like the reunion from Brief Encounter.....
I've always wanted to wear a hat like Celia Johnson's.

And so, feeling a little blue, I took myself off to Theatre Clwyd to watch a Danish Western that was filmed in South Africa with a Danish/Swedish/American/ French/ English and Welsh cast!
" The Salvation" is an interesting movie. At first I thought it was Director Kristian Levring's pastiche on the genre, as the whole thing had a flavour of the " Spaghetti " about it , but after half an hour of the stunning visuals ( With Africa providing a magnificent and probably more impressive backdrop as Monument Valley) it was clear that Levring had made his own solid " revenge" Western that stands alone.
Mads Mikklesen plays Jon Jensen, a Danish farmer who is reunited with his wife and son after emigrating with his brother Peter (Mikeal Persbrandt ) when a local gang member attacks and kills his wife and son just hours after they land in the country, Jensen is forced into a confrontation with the gang and the townsfolk who have been intimidated by them.
It's worth a view even though, there is nothing very new to see. I gave it a 7/10.

Mikeal Persbrandt and Mads Mikklesen

I got home after 10 pm and by accident caught the incredibly powerful HBO documentary " Requiem
For The Dead- American Spring 2014"
It was as simple as it was effective....totally mesmerising tv.
For those that don't know " Requiem" more or less lists the types of fatal gun crimes recorded during a twelve week period in the United States from March 2014.
8,000 deaths! 8,000 DEATHS ! In Twelve weeks! Fucking unbelievable !
Using press releases, tv clips, witness testimonies and photographic evidence the documentary concentrated on a dozen or so heartbreaking stories of murder, murder/suicide and accident but not before paying tribute to each one of the 8,000 dead . I felt quite drained and numb by the final oh-so-important reel and I remain incredulous that the gun issue has never been effectively sorted in a country that prides itself on being SO civilised.
Every school, every, gun club, every cinema in the USA should see this movie
It's interesting that the film I watched earlier , glorified the birth of America's love affair with the firearm.......

The River Wild

The River Elwy at St Asaph

Yesterday I caught up with " field " jobs.
I bought corn and layers pellets, picked up shavings for the hen houses and arranged to pick up a vaccination certificate for William from the vets.
The vet surgery doesn't open until 6 pm and I arrived in the pretty town of St Asaph at 5.30 pm so I parked near the river and took the dogs for a walk.
So far so good.
When I take the dogs out , Winnie and George are left off the leads. If another dog comes into view I automatically lead George again as he has a tendency to bark , but Winnie, being so placid , is left to roam. William, with his habit of running off is always kept with me.
Have you got that?
Anyhow we had a lovely walk around the flood plain and ended up underneath the ancient arches of the town's bridge. The bridge over the River Elwy.
There is a concrete wall by the river bank with a drop of a few feet down to the water, and being a nosey kind of terrier George walked over and stood looking out at the view.
Before I could stop her, Winnie decided to join him and in her usual bull-at-a-gate fashion barged him out of the way. He fell into the river with a loud plop followed bizarrely by Winnie who hit the water with a massive splash.
I panicked.
Now being summer, the river is neither too deep or too fast flowing, but it was deep enough for both dogs to be swimming, so I raced to the side of the wall and looked down. Poor George , he was yelping and trying to scramble up the concrete wall like a mad thing, so I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him up out of the water.
It was only seconds, but when I turned to see where Winnie was, I saw her half swimming half walking twenty feet away in the centre of the river.
She started to disappear down the Elwy puffing like a steam train.....she looked like a galleon in full sail.
I ran down my side of the river calling for her, but I think she was too preoccupied to understand commands and started to zig zag towards the opposite bank perhaps thirty or forty feet away so I yelled to a man walking a Labrador on the opposite bank to see if he could help.
Bless him, the guy jumped into the drama like a good un and started to yell " Winnie WINNIE!" at the top of his lungs. After giving his dog to another passerby.  he climbed down the bank waving
at her like a real trouper.

It was all getting a bit surreal.
Winnie by this time had found a shallow part of the river and was standing stock still with her worried face poking up out of the water. She looked like a knackered hippo.
Gallantly the man stepped into the water ( IN SHOES!) and called again to her and this time she responded, waded over to him and allowed him to pull her to the opposite bank where she threw herself onto the grass like a diva.

These animals will be the death of me.

Still in bed, exhausted this morning

Albert by her side

So I will now publically thank Mr Derek Hughes , the man who ruined his shoes and gave himself a hernia saving an old bulldog from her own stupidity.....
I owe you a pint.

Change Of Subject ( Inc Bake Off Spoilers)

I was saddened to see the funny Northerner Sandy leave the Bake Off tonight. With the best Yorkshire one liners and a smile like a split melon she was a breath of fresh air and will be missed.
Of the survivors I kinda like Nadiya ( she pulls more strange faces than Phyllis Diller) Paul ( it's the goatee) and Tamal ( how cute is he?)
Sad to see that Ian is being set up to be the hated school swot!

On a different note, I will now give a begrudging pat on the back to our local fox. Last night he must of found Bingley's body hidden away under the hawthorn for after my usual morning search, I found the tell tale signs of a trail of turkey feathers leading from the field through the riding stable fields.
For a fox to be able to lift a fully grown, dead weight turkey stag is a feat in itself, to carry it a considerable distance is a real testament to hunger.
Recycling at it's best!

To end with, I shall tell you the subject of tomorrow's post.......

It centres around a potentially disastrous accident...when Winnie Knocked George into the River Elwy then proceeded to fall into the water herself.

My nerves are fucking shot to ribbons

The site of the " incident" 

Domestic Abuse

Yesterday I " witnessed " a particularly nasty situation of domestic abuse.
I and " another" were on the other end of a phone.
We were helpless, and heard the confrontation as if we were characters in a film.
It was horrendous to hear and I am still bothered about it.

Last week in an intirely different situation, in the supermarket checkout , I saw a man in his 60s hurry by with his right hand gripping the back of a woman's neck( I presumed her to be his wife) his left hand was holding her left hand, and they dashed down an aisle. The woman looked worried and in the second I saw them my thoughts flashed from " it's horseplay" to " what's going on?"
Funnily enough I saw both again getting into their car.
He was at the driver's side , she was standing at the passenger door, and he was pointing at her with a stern look like a dad does to a naughty child.
Ok it might of been horseplay like I said, but I felt uncomfortable enough to stand there and stare until both had driven off.

I wish now, I had called out to ask if she was ok.

860

My follower numbers have been up and down like a whore's knickers over the past week
And it's bugging me..... 860....863.....861.....now 860
Just lets round it off to 900 and be done with it......
Alternatively everyone just round it off to 800
It's irritating my slightly obsessive nature...............and my brittle ego
If you're staying , for fanny's sake just stay

News

For the Prof ( who will be getting slightly homesick )
Village News over the past week

• Ann M...The surprise winner of the novelty vegetable class in the Flower Show is still surprisingly posting Facebook photos of her winning minion in odd situations .....it's a case of rubbing your facebook in it......
• Affable Despots Claire and Jason have been away on holiday, so I have been feeding their goldfish for a week.........I thought their strategic placement of his " 2nd In Show" smiling shit novelty vegetable RIGHT NEXT TO THE FISHTANK was a bit rich....I made a point of stabbing it in the head with one of their kitchen knives. I'm sure his two impressionable young children found the stabbing amusing 
• I've noted with some amusement that the minutes of the community council meetings have still not been posted on the village noticeboard since a meeting in the spring. I suspect the slightly bumbling Clerk is still catching up with amendments from the Later meetings.......for locals information the latest exciting updates can be seen on line at http://www.gwaenysgorandtrelawnyd.org.uk/community-council-minutes/
• Auntie Gladys has been somewhat perturbed by the loss of a piece of knitting!  During the meelee of the Show , one of  Blogger Anne Marie's entries in the art section was sadly mislaid and was thought to be sold by accident. Gladys braved the bad weather to bring me down some knitting that she had found in her bric-a-brac collection . Unfortunately her eyesight is still not brilliant and what she thought was a knitted shawl turned out to be a crochet tablecloth.
• The new couple and their sons who have recently moved into the old Police house seem very nice and very community minded. She's especially chatty!
• The Crown pub is still shut up after the mystery moonlight flit by the last lacklustre manager .(when the flat screen tv and the slot machine takings suddenly went missing)...I wonder if anyone else has heard what's happening there ? Answers on a postcard please
• I have finally got old Trevor connected to BT sports on line last night ( and I missed the lovely Victoria Coren-Mitchell in ONLY CONNECT doing it)..... it took me a bloody age as his computer seems to be that old it's driven by steam . He has asked me to ask the Prof if they can go shopping for a new one together......he'll buy lunch at Sainsbury's cafe no less......( you can-have what you want from the menu he says!)- go on stuff yourself
• Mrs Trellis is fine, busy and happy with her whippet Cross Blue and I saw Gay Gordon and Big Mary outside Marks the other day! I note she's on piped oxygen now...and is I see a not so big Mary :( 
• Oh, I've just cleaned the Church this morning...... Note to the vicar " your hoover is shite!"

Every time I clean the Church, I have the overwhelming urge to ring the bell!