Sans Teeth, Sans Eyes, Sans Teeth ....Sans Everything

On his way to church the Prof stopped for a moment by the field gate and asked what I was doing.
I thought it was obvious
I was lying down next to Bingley as he ate a bowl of corn in order to stop the geese pecking him up the arse.
Bingley is in his seventh year, and after his usual spring and summer not really eating and posturing at anyone in dark clothing walking up and down the lane , his age is creeping up with him.
Like an old man getting out of a low arm chair, he is staggering somewhat when walking and is reluctant to leave his house in the mornings. I wonder if something more neurological is going on
but I have no way of knowing
Now before everyone leaves a supportive comment of " how sad" I have to say...stop and don't..... Bingley is reaching his twilight time and that's ok..he's a bird....and not a dog.....

I'll make sure he's got food and water and the odd small plate of dog food ( which he adores) and I shall watch to see if he's comfortable, but if he goes off his feet, well it will be his time to go...sentimentality? There's no real room for that I tell myself.

When I reach the same stage, when my turkey legs no longer can keep me going ....I hope to god that there is " dignitas" clinic just down the road where I can go with my family and friends with my dogs on my knee

I've only been to Switzerland the once ....and I didn't like it much.

Oz

I'm sat hidden away on the loo typing this....
The Prof is in a slightly " stress head" state given the fact that today is the only day he has to organise everything he needs for a pacific sailing holiday. He flies to OZ in the week, and will be working consistantly up to the time he goes.
" we need to get a sweat vest" he ventured this morning over eggs and toast ( in bed I may add)
The impossibly fit people he is sailing with suggested this by email this morning
" what the fuck is a sweat vest" I said...( not being very helpful) " and where do you get one in Trelawnyd on a Saturday?"
I fly to Sydney in the beginning of September, so I have time to sort out the factor 50, a set of clean underpants and my selection of Walking Dead T shirts....so my stress is low...well low until I have to check in ........all the animals have been sorted and the lady at the kennels has the name of a reliable house sitter for our next holiday " she does geese too" the woman said helpfully......" Ah but does she do headless rabbits?" I asked
The kennel lady said she would ask...

Bingley on his well behaved trip to the vets 5 years ago

So today, wish us both luck.......we may be heading for a pre holiday row-ettte!
Btw old Bingley the turkey collapsed briefly this morning as he manfully tried to eat a whole piece of white bread before the geese got to it....The old boy is fading a little now.but after a brisk bout of back slapping and feather rubbing he came to, albeit rather shakily.............I'll try to have some quality time with him later...............the circle of life eh

I'll leave you with this fabulous photo of some Flower Show Dahlias taken by the teenage boffin.....

Bake Off

Marie fucked up her French Arlette biscuits 

With our guest winging his way back to the big city, And with the rain lashing down here in Trelawnyd, I have just had the opportunity to catch up with The Great British Bake Off.
The sixth series remains good fun and the secret to that , I think, is that the majority of contestants seem rather nice, well rounded people.
Of course, some of that comes from the fact that baking is basically an altruistic pursuit . Feeding people IS sociable and giving, although I am sure there is always an element of showing off present with the flashier classes.
This week it was the Scottish Granny Marie that got kicked out after a pretty bland show of her biscuits. Junior Doctor Tamal's innuendos about wet pastry elicited a " ooohhh arrrrrrh" moment and Sue Perkins broke poor Nadiya's box top whilst Mary Berry showed a set of thin lips when Dorrit  brought out a frog shaped biscuit cutter!

Sue fucked up Nadiya's box

" Bake Off" is a safe pair of hands on tv. It's sweet natured, ever slightly bland, and despite accusations of positive discrimination towards certain minorities , it is a showcase for talented amateurs to share a bit of skill.......
And skill is so often missing from modern day tv.

The New Girlfriend

Claire had a best friend called Laura who she had lesbian feelings for
Laura married David and had a baby.
Then Laura died of cancer.
Claire supports David and finds out that he likes cross dressing.
He dresses in Laura's clothes .
Claire is married to Gilles.
Claire secretly meets David and supports his fetish.
David falls for Claire
Claire falls for David ( but only in drag.....when he is Virginia and looks remarkably like Laura)
Claire tells Gilles David is gay
Virginia and Claire almost have sex but he has a penis ( which we see in full glory) so she says she cannot go through with it.
Virginia is knocked down by a car and goes into a coma
Claire dresses the unconscious David in Laura's clothes and he wakes up
Claire , gets together with David ( sorry Virginia )
The end

What a load of shit

Visitors

Nigel wouldn't pose for a selfie

 We have been graced by a surprise visit by old friend Nigel , who is big on walking everywhere.. This morning we walked down the hills to Prestatyn with my knees cracking and my arse farting at every step of the 1 in 4  hillside footpath.

 Tonight we are off to see some French film at Theatre Clwyd. The Prof has got some work to,do at home which is a shame...so we've bought him a nice chocolate pudding from Marks in way of  a small compensation

Not A Bad Place To Be.

I was in the middle of doing my Nanette Newman bit,arranging buddleia flowers in the window yesterday morning, when a villager out with his dog called over with the somewhat enigmatic comment
" I see Pippa's now got a herd of alpacas"
Now Pippa is Trelawnyd's version of Lynda Snell from The Archers who lives in the old Rectory which is the biggest house in the village. My field is seperated from her glebe field by the new graveyard, so still in my slippers I climbed over the Church wall and walked through the Churchyard to have a look.

You have to look very close to see them

They seem so incredibly shy

It was difficult to see much in the long grass, but sitting quiety in the sun, I could just make out three slender heads and necks , three sets of fluffy ears and three pairs of eyes watching me carefully from the glebe.
An old man, I didn't recognise was sat on one of the churchyard benches and he called over " Are they llamas?"
" I think they are alpacas" I told him, even though I wasn't exactly sure.
I had started to shuffle back in my slippers when the man started to chat idly, like people do in warm sunshine
He commented about the warm weather, he complemented how neat and tidy the graveyard was and he complained that the Church wasn't left open as the ones in Gweanysgor and Llanasa always seem to do . " When it's wet, I would like to sit in the Church when I Come" he said.
I sat down for a while, tucking my slippers out of sight underneath the bench and we chatted for a while. I didn't ask his name  and he didn't ask mine.
After a slight lull in the conversation,and as I was just about to leave , the man piped up
" It was sad do about that ballet dancer being killed in London"
I agreed and told him that I had seen Jonathon Ollivier dance at Sadler's Wells a while back in Swan Lake

" I wonder where he will be buried? " the old guy mused, and added
" My wife is buried here"
I nodded and he sighed
" It's not a bad place to be ........" He pointed to the riding stables beyond the fence " Horses on one side, chickens and geese on the other ( he was referring to my field) and now alpacas over here....my wife loved animals "
I stopped to look at the view by the rows of neat graves , graves holding quite a few of the villagers I had gotten to know over our decade and told the man that I would like to be buried here, even though, I thought The Prof and I could by then be anywhere else in the Uk....
" It's not a bad place to be " I agreed

1970s Art

This is my favourite movie poster of all time 

I had the original on my wall all throughout my childhood

Love the fact that a fan has given the " dead" a 1970s twist 

Back To Normal

I was late to fat club today. It's the farm traffic on the roads. Everything seems on a go slow.
Before I jumped on the scales, I tried to cover myself by telling Marjorie Dawes that I have just been on holiday in Broadstairs!
" one pound on!" Marjorie announced loudly
" Is that all ?" I exclaimed " I can't believe that!"
" Well it's true" Marjorie replied ..and she seemed rather morose " I put on eleven and a half pounds when I went on holiday"
I felt like saying " Where did you go on holiday...Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory? " but I didn't
But it would have been very funny if I had.
Having said that, I have just chomped my way through a box of celebrations
- a thank you from old Lynwen Hughes for her son winning the best ornamental garden cup! I keep telling her I cannot influence the judging and that he won on merit.....but she insisted

http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes/zucchini-soft-taco-shells/

 In an effort to be healthier , I have just made these odd looking but bloody lovely courgette tortillas for tea.......having said this, I did notice that I had hidden the celebrations wrappers in the gaudy welsh jug on the kitchen table!
WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOUR CHOC WRAPPERS?

I'll leave you with photos of William and Winnie sporting their new bandannas