U Don't Know Me , Do You?

Oh dear.. My previous post seems to have ruffled some feathers
My reply perhaps is worth repeating

"Oh chris, do stop
I am not mocking at all
Jesus was " hatched" on Easter Sunday....hence the name
Even Jesus ( the real one), I suspect would have ventured a small smile at the fact a sweet little hen, with more chutzpah than joan Rivers, has his name after nearly getting eaten by a badger, getting bullied by the entire flock and having to cope with the fact that he/she is an ugly little bugger......

Yes I think your Jesus would have ventured a little smile"
I have written Going Gently since 2006
And not once have I ever mocked a religion or a religious figure
Tom Stephenson.........perhaps....religion never!
Chill a little eh
And please do pray for me..... That is a lovely thing to do for anyone

Jesus On My Shoulder, David Sidaris Under The Duvet

He hasn't grown up, Jesus hasn't
He remains over friendly and chipper
And no bigger than a fat blackbird
He stood like this when I did my rounds and feed run this morning
Moving in a mysterious way.
I am working tonight so I am going to doze in bed after lunch and will listen to
 David Sidaris under the duvet
It's a grey miserable day in Wales today

These dog poems are wonderful

Zebra Crossing Drama

I was going to blog about one of my favourite comedians and essayists David Sedaris today.  His series on radio 4 Meet David Sedaris is an absolute hoot and well worth investing in for just half an hour a week. But events conspired against this cultural gallop and instead I will share with you what only can be called The Trelawnyd Zebra Crossing Incident
( Tom Stephenson look away now)
We have only one zebra crossing in the village, and this as you would expect is located in front of the school. Given the amount of speeders on London Road, I always make for the zebra crossing when out with the dogs and will often launch myself ( keeping the dogs safely behind me) onto the first " stripe" in order to bring the speeding cars screeching to a halt, often just inches away from me!
( readers of  going Gently from years ago..may remember I had an altercation with a man in a pick up van at the very crossing which resulted at me throwing  a bag of poo into his open boot!)
Today, I tend to use the crossing more because both Meg and George prefer to amble rather than gallop when out for their walk
This morning I used my tried and tested, " foot on the first stripe" challenge to an overly fast  thornhill skip driver, who had to break so hard his mobile phone slithered off his dashboard.
The driver gave me a withering look but waited for several cars to come to a halt from the opposite direction before I marshaled the dogs in order to cross the road.
Now when four cars and one lorry are waiting for you to cross the road, what you don't want is a 26 kilo bulldog to stop dead in the centre of a zebra crossing, but stop dead she did and without a hint of embarrassment , Winifred brought the dog convoy to a scrum, squatted with a loud grunt and started to push out one of the largest and wettest turds in modern day history, right in the centre of a wide white stripe.
The lorry driver rolled his eyes, and I could see a woman in the car behind craning her neck to see what the hold up was.
When bulldogs poo.....they cannot and will not be rushed!
I smiled apologetically at the traffic and tried to pull Winnie onto the pavement, but she wasn't for pulling, so I made a show of retrieving a doggy poo bag from my pocket to show just how responsible I am as a dog owner.
Yes, you've guessed it
I had run out of doggy bags!
Mind you, by the look of Winnie's offering as it slowly and surely arrived, I really was in need of a large black bin bag rather than a dainty pooper scooper bag.
So there I was, standing in the road with three dogs in one hand and a bulldog squeezing out a turd the size of a small child  in the other!..... No bags......and a captive audience of increasingly irritated drivers watching every move.
Finally, Winnie finished the caramel coloured " mr whippy" and red faced I had to mouth to the lorry driver a rather lame " sorry no bags" to which he mouthed out a reply something on the lines of " fucking disgusting "
I dragged the dogs to the curb as the lorry and the first car on the opposite side of the road moved forward. The woman driving the car was shaking her head at me as she swerved around the turd, the massive wet turd which was then flattened with a sickening squelch a second later as the car behind hers smacked into it.
Oh the shame

The village school children in front of the aforementioned crossing

Last year

Locke

You wouldn't really think that a movie about a Welsh construction expert's middle-of-the-night motorway journey which has been filmed exclusively inside a car with only one actor and a supporting cast of phone voices to drive the narrative, would be a riveting piece of modern cinema would you?
But it is.....
Locke is a masterclass of good film making .
It has pathos, humour, a great deal of drama and a central performance worthy of an Oscar, everything you would want on a Wednesday night, when you are venturing out during round 2 of The Great British Bake Off.
Like I said, Locke on the surface is a simple story. Ivan Locke ( an almost unrecognisable Tom Hardy) is a successful , meticulous and quietly spoken construction foreman. On the eve of his biggest work deadline ever, he juggles an irate boss, a panicking junior foreman, a needy one night stand who is in labour with his baby and a shocked and bewildered family who he loves dearly.
All this is done by phone  with characters we never see, and so it is up to Hardy and Hardy alone to carry the entire film and give it the dramatic punch the story requires.
Tom Hardy is a revelation. This is clearly his best film to date, and in a restrained and careful performance he perfectly captures a man of great principle who is haunted by the trauma of an absent father and a catastrophic life challenge
He also masters a wonderfully sexy welsh accent with some aplomb
9/10

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and ... blow."

  This morning as I was returning from bosoms with onions and potatoes in order to make a cottage pie, I bumped into the neighbour who yesterday morning had told me that Robbie Williams had just died . She tittered away that " she was a bit of a "one"" and in a way of getting some news right, ended our encounter with the sad news that Lauren Bacall had sadly passed away.

" she did that thing with the cigarettes" my neighbour twittered....and I told her just how Bacall perfected her famous " look" by putting her chin on her chest whilst raising her eyes upward. This wasn't a drama Queen-esque action of a diva.......but an effort by Bacall to stop herself shaking on film.....
I always liked Lauren Bacall.
She was sardonic, measured, assertive and sassy. From her famous whistle blowing scene in To Have And Have Not , she only went forward to  make a handful of quality films , but for seventy years, she remained a true Hollywood icon, a successful Broadway actress and a staunch liberal ......
"You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal." She had been quoted "You do not have a small mind."
Yes, I liked her image, and I suspect I would have liked her in person.
Hey ho..... Hollywood leading ladies........we only have Olivia deHavilland left

It's a bit of a film orientated blog today......later I am going to see the much praised Tom Hardy film "Locke" which finally has a showing here in Wales. I have been waiting an age for it, so will review it later....
Right.....off to finish my cottage pie

What the time Mr Wolf?

Although I am not a member of the community council anymore, I have been asked to help with their " official" website and will be one of two people in the village that can amend and update information and notice boards etc.
Many of the photographs and local history information I have already collated and given to the website designer, but today she will be giving a few people from each village ( we share our local council,remit with our sister village of Gwaenysgor)  a tutorial in all things " web"
Subsequently I have been racing around to complete the necessary jobs before I need to go out.
Being creatures of habit , after their first walk of the day, the dogs, one by one , all sneak up to bed for a crafty snooze on the bed.
I have have just caught Winnie doing the same, and as usual she studiously ignored me when I called our sternly
" and where do you think you're going?"
Bulldogs , when challenged like this will always be stopped in their tracks, but also will never look at you. It's a bit of a Mexican standoff ....or else reminds me of that game when you are kids where someone spins around and you have to be stock still in a line behind them? What was the game?
Was it ...what's the time mr wolf?
Anyhow , I can't remember....suffice to say Winnie stood as still as a statue for a minute or so....and when sufficient time had elapsed, and she thought it safe to proceed, she slowly took a few heavy steps forward, still keeping her eyes firmly fixed in front of her. Again I called out
" where are you off to?" And again she stopped until it was safe enough to step forward........it's a game we both play in the mornings.
A game she always wins.

She was unconscious with her tongue sticking out within seconds, so I left them all on the duvet and went to deliver eggs. A neighbour waved and called out that she had just heard that Robbie Williams had just died 

Funny, I thought...... I was only singing "" Angels" to myself when sat on the loo before breakfast

Money Well Spent

This will be the last Flower Show biased post

And it's a bit of a housekeeping one to end on

It will be nice to think and do other things.

The ultimate remit of the Flower Show Committee is to raise funds for 

Village initiatives and village causes.

 Earlier this year we gave the conservation group a donation towards their 

Summer planting and we also bought two new benches

for the village green, which have now been fixed into place by members of the 

community council.

So, I am putting a request out here to anyone who has any ideas what the committee could 

Spend monies raised by this years show

The only stipulation we have is that the funding supports 

The people and the environment of Trelawnyd.

If anyone has any nominations please contact any of the show's committee members

Right , enough already

I have a bulldog staring at me

She wants a walk

Enjoy