Could Today Get Any Worse?

I knew it was going to be a bunfight

Getting the hens into their new collection of coops

Hens do NOT like having their houses changed

And will stubbornly move to where they were originally situated

But eventually I got the last girl in just as the stars started to twinkle

In the melee

I stepped on my glasses

Which now only have one arm

god help me!
I look retarded

At least I don't support The  England Football Team

Nite nite

Wish my chickens luck in the dark

Pulling oneself up By The Bra Straps

The badgers have been on the field longer than we have been in he cottage, and their " runs" criss cross the acre of land from Churchyard to stream.
They are there for the duration and it is increasingly worrying that their leader now has a taste for chicken
This morning,
I had a fleeting moment of " what's the point" and contemplated giving up on everything feathered for a while before picking myself up by my bra straps, buying an " emergency " scotch egg in way of support and setting to work.
With the help of neighbour John and affable despot Jason we moved the larger coops to a square of cleared land up by the gate nearest the cottage.
Jason was showing off with his best American accent and kept us amused with his tv commentator
" when Badgers go bad" impersonation as the Ukrainian village was dismantled and relocated.
The old and frail coops have now been destroyed and each of the remaining houses, have all been strengthened and fixed with new locks fitted and mesh grills erected over doors and poop holes.
With all of the coops in one position, a piece of land perhaps fifty feet square  can be surrounded  by two strands of electric wire much more easily.

Hey Ho

The badger returned last night.
It killed six hens sheltering inside my most robust hen house.
A hen house which I have used successfully for over seven years without a problem.
All six were excellent layers and
I now doubt that I am going to be able to fill my regular egg orders from now on.

I only found one corpse  tucked away in the nettles and that had all of the tell tale injuries of a badger attack.

Blast from the 70's past

The first single I ever bought

I forgot just how I loved it
I heard it on radio wales today
Ps radio wales is shite

The Bitch In The Pink Singlet

There is a big difference between being " poor" and being " common"
Common people , in my mind , can be defined , as rude and inappropriate
They also show too much midriff for my liking
And they yell  at their kids like banshees in public places
I can't be doing with them

Anyhow....

I was standing at the self service check out at Tesco's today when a youngish woman in a pink singlet and a "  Brianna " tattoo up her forearm started to scream in the face of her small child who was sniveling loudly in a push chair next to the tills.
Now I am usually terribly British when faced with nutter mums like these, and like 99% of the population , I just stand there quite uncomfortably in front of the confrontation giving dirty looks and tutting quietly to myself .
But today I did say something.
I said something because I hadn't had much sleep thanks to several over heated dogs mooching around the cottage all night and I was spoiling for a fight
I said something because I had to curb my sudden urge to wrap the woman's pink singlet up and over her giant bosoms because I really hate to see overly aggressive behaviour
( and my urge is not aggressive?)
And I said something because the snotty nosed kid was sooo upset at the telling off , it was sobbing in those staccato little cries kids cry when they can't quite breath in when overly upset,

" can you PLEASE stop yelling at that child!"  I called out in my best Stephen Fry voice
The woman stopped for the briefest of seconds , sneered and as an elderly woman in the queue behind me muttered a semi supportive " disgraceful " to no one in particular she told me to " fuck off!"
But then added the rather surprising personal insult of " Nonce"
" fuck off nonce"
NONCE? Where the hell did that come from?
Anyhow , I suddenly and rather  unexpectedly turned into Rita Fairclough from Coronation Street
and spat out a lusty
 " You had better watch your dirty mouth Laaaaa-dy" before the very tall Check out supervisor who looks like that chap off Pointless walked in between us saying  to the slag-in-a-singlet " hey non of that in here please!"

The whole thing left a rather bitter taste in my mouth
And after it was all over, I took myself to calm down in  marks and Spencer's food hall
The order and cool sight of beautifully arranged posh nosh
brings down the stress levels beautifully

Order out of chaos 

I shouldn't leave the village

Postcards From Sleepyville

I'm not going to apologize for today's post.
It's an observational slightly mundane amble which is just what I needed after working most of the weekend and last night at Samaratains.
It has been a somewhat full on few days.
A rarity for me
This happened this morning

I made Black Lentil Dal

Went to clean the Church and ended up photographing

The wedding flowers  from Saturday's ceremony

Animal helper Pat cleaned out her store cupboards and brought  a load of

Goodies for the birds

Miniature marshmallows was a first

I caught sight of the wife of the Red Faced Welsh Farmer in the perfectly manicured 

graveyard and we chatted for an age .

I told her I missed his pirate greetings

from the window of his passing red landrover

And she laughed like a drain.

It was good to see her

The graveyard looked lovely 

Almost every grave had flowers on it.

I had forgotten it was Father's Day on Sunda

" The Bastard ( the pugnacious cockerel who was dumped on me) has now settled down quite nicely

He is now a rather sweet little fellow

I have renamed him

Ronnie Corbett 

The  dogs played " Indian file" through the long grass

As I watered Bosoms and cleaned out the coop where the crackhead whores were massacred by the 

badger

One broody Sussex is sitting on eggs 

and will need a home when the chicks arrive 

The circle of life continues 

I've cut flowers for the house

And am just about to cut the lawn 

It's not yet midday

I am home

Joke

"There was confusion tonight at the odean cinema at workingdon where Alma Tibbs the senior usherette accidently sat on her torch and showed herself up in the circle."

Best joke of the day

Lane Rage

Sometimes a little rudeness is called for
Just occasionally
Ok....Let's not make a habit of it
But a smart mouth can be kind of satisfying , especially when you are tired and cranky and in need of some sleep.
We had a busy night again at work last night.
Another bloody busy night
and I was not quite in the mood for the collection of  school run 4 x 4 s gridlocking the lane at ten to nine this morning.so looking like Charlton Heston with his been Hur Chariot  I ambled past them all with the dogs, ready to deliver eggs before I could venture a nap on the couch.
One slightly pinched " yummy mummy" showed some ill advised frustration at my slowness to give way,  raised her hands in a sort of gesture of " can you get out of the way" and was greeted by a robust and Bette Davies - esque comment of
" YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT ...We BLEEDING LIVE  HERE,"
The woman wisely kept her mouth shut
as I sashayed away....... twirling a poop bag rather menacingly in my left hand....
The way I felt this morning
I would have lobbed it.at her without a second thought.