Bellowing Bunty and her Bastard Birds

The Bastards ( right) facing off the field geese

" Preloved" is a website that allows you to advertise livestock for sale. Although I am wary of attracting unsuitable animal owners for animals I need to rehome, I have found the site useful as long as any prospective owners are vetted properly.

Yesterday I advertised " The Bastards" on preloved, and this morning the phone has been tinkling away with people interested in buying them.

One energetic sounding woman called and said she was passing through the village this morning . she asked if she could come and view the geese with a view of perhaps picking them up later today if they were suitable.

The woman proved to be a new smallholder from the village of Llansannan. She had a big booming voice, the forearms of a docker, a ready smile  and incredibly muddy boots. She also told  me her of her rather checkered  life story with her policewoman girlfriend of two years within just five minutes of our meeting.

She was hugely entertaining as people who share their life stories on your first meeting always are.
I found out later that her name was Bunty

Bunty was so loud, even Winifred, who can face off any newcomer, had to hide on the staircase until she had left

Oh daddy..take the shouty lady away

The woman had limited experience of looking after geese, but had obviously researched the subject well, so I was happy to let her  see the bastards to see if she liked them. Luckily for me, she did, but I was sure I informed her that they were a bit of a handful.

" so am I " she answered with a smile....." Oh......So am I "
And I believed her

She looked like she could hold her own in a pub fight

American Hustle

 We went to see American Hustle this evening, and I must admit it was an entertaining romp into a grifter's New York City circa 1978. Five of Hollywood's brightest ( Amy Adams,Bradley Cooper,Christian Bale, Jennifer Lawrence and Jeremy Renner) have an excellent go at acting each other off the screen, but are very nearly outclassed by a short but incredibly telling cameo by Robert deNero who pops up as a mafia godfather!.....having said this Amy Adams does a wonderful turn as cleavage busting wise con woman who just wants to get married......she deserves the oscar for one  short powerhouse scene alone
8/10

Stupid is as Stupid does

There are two ways to go when you are faced with tactless people

You can get angry at them

Or you can be amused by them.

Luckily, I am generally amused by them.

Years ago, when I was a psychiatric nurse, I remember " observing" a teenage anorexic patient in her room.

The girl weighed only a matter of a few stone and was placed on 1 to1 observation

to prevent her injuring herself.

The girl was quietly reading a book, as I sat in the doorway, and as we sat there the domestic, a cheerful Caribbean mama ,was buffing up the wooden floor in the corridor.

As the domestic passed the doorway, she waved cheerfully at the young girl and sang out

a rather surprising greeting of "  hello fatty"

a salutation that made the girl open her eyes as wide as a bushbaby

And made me almost choke to death laughing.

It's the verbal equivalent of a suicide bomber

Potentially dangerous psychologically

But incredibly funny

More recently, at work, a colleague that does not know me very well, 

heard me talking about Chris. My conversation was pretty mundane and my co worker 

Interrupted with no hint of self awareness

" Could I ask , in your relationship with Chris who plays the woman?"

The comment was so left field, that I promptly burst into laughter

But I did make sure that the girl understood what I really thought of her question

when I clarified my laugh with the smiling reply of

" what a fucking stupid comment"

Tactless people can be amusing

But stupid people
 do need a slap from time to time

Aseptic Technique?

Remember the " muddy coloured hen"?

Well the old gal is going from strength to strength

Everyday she comes into the kitchen to have a bullying injury on her vent cleaned

And will stand quite still and nicely for the whole procedure to take place

Dabbing a cut on a hen's arsehole on the kitchen table eh?

Chris will have a fit!

Scrubbing Eggs

I don't know if you all have noticed, but it shall never ever complain

About the dirt, shit,cold,wet,occasionally painful, expensive

Vet visiting,emotional heart string plucking nature of animal care

It goes with the territory and the choice of living in a place where the

Kitchen floor is constantly in need of being mopped

a mouth or beak is always in need of being filled, 

and a shitty Klingon always needs to be cut off a shitty arsehole

However

There is one job that I absolutely detest with a vengeance 

And that is

Cleaning shit and mud covered eggs.

I HATE THE JOB!

I hate it more than anything else in the world

Chickens roll their eggs with their feet, so wet winters mean

Dirty bleeding eggs!

Tonight I am doing a twilight overtime shift at work 10pm until 6 am

So before I go, I will complete all of those little needy jobs at home

And that includes sorting the eggs out!

Has anyone got an easier way of cleaning the little bastards?

Please let me know

don't look down.......

There is just one thing that terrifies me and that is height.
I am unable to climb a ladder beyond the sixth or seventh rung, I cannot lean out of a first story window and I once had to be led off  the observation platform of Seattle's Space Needle by a friendly Japanese tourist when I " froze" at the guard rail.
It has been a life long fear.
Having said this.....when I was 22 , I did jump out of a small Cessna airplane at 1500 feet for charity ( a fact that I am sure my sister in law Jayne will testify to here for she watched me do it!) and to this day I cannot quite believe that I actually did it!......perhaps it was just the foolishness of youth......perhaps it was just the borrowed Ativan tablet...who knows.........
Today, I still cannot cope with anything above seven feet!

And yet I am totally fascinated with height. I have made a point of going up as many skyscrapers as I am able.....I love flying ( although I am getting more and more nervous of turbulence the older I get).... And one of my favourite films has to be Towering Inferno.

Last night I watched a tv documentary about the free runner, James Kingston called rather unimaginatively Don't Look Down .The 22 year old has overcome his intensely felt fear of heights and spends much of his free time hanging from and climbing up cranes and towers across the UK.......

I see that the documentary has been slated this morning, for being irresponsible and dangerous... which is a shame... For despite depicting this young man's odd obsession, the documentary was able to capture Kingston as a thoughtful, measured, and spiritual young man.
Height literally has given him the ability to discipline himself and his life.
It was an interesting study  of self discovery.

Omen

Please
Someone follow me
I have always wanted 666 followers!
X

A Mouse Behind The Freezer

Night shifts can feel incredibly short, especially when you have a busy patient to deal with. My patient was poorly, so the twelve and a half hour shift shot by as fast as  a spinster passing an Ann Summer's slumber party.
All I wanted when I got home was an eggy Bagel
But there was a typical drama when I got home
" There's a MOUSE  behind the freezer" Chris informed me as I walked through the door
( some of you may remember the " there's a rat under the sofa incident" here which was was a blog entry that started in a very similar fashion)

I wasn't surprised.
The four dogs and and cat where all lined up with their serious faces on , sniffing the gaps
" well, pull the freezer out and let them finish it off" I instructed
"Nooooooo" cried Chris
" yessssssssssss! " cried the dogs
" bring it on" muttered Albert.....
A mouse is to cats and terriers what Downton Abbey is to snowbound Americans
It makes for wonderful entertainment

Now
Is it me? But is removing a rodent from behind the freezer a big job?
No!
You just make a cat sized gap between freezer and wall.
Whip up some excitement amongst the troops by whispering " KILL, KILL KILL THEM ALL!"
in a few moments it's a job well done
Simples!
Seconds later I had hurled a flat and very dead mouse out of the back door
And peace returned to Bwthyn y llan
I had my eggy bagel
And went to bed for a couple of hours..... Chris's bell ringing ( no jokes Tom) woke me around 11.
Hey ho