Am I Late?

I have always been a late starter

I was last in my class to know what a " blow job" was

I saw my first " x" film* when I was 20

And I had my first spliff when I was 34

I was 11 before I could ride  a bike without stabilizers

I was 18 when I lost my virginity ( yes to a woman)!

And I was 25 when I kissed my first man!

I saw my first ballet at 29

I started my first university course aged 41

And killed my first chicken aged 47

I went to London for the  first time when I was 19

I had my first pub pint when I was 18

And I was 40 before I owned my first dog

I bought my first antique at an auction at the  age of 45

Stopped wearing short pants at 12

And mooned at a group of American tourists when  I was 38

And I was 40 before I fell in love properly for the very first time

What were you a late  starter with?

*x films in the seventies were today's R ( restricted) movies btw

Memory Games

This needlepoint has been on the the wall of the cottage for years. Only today, did I realize that it was one of those prayers that we learnt and recited at length at primary school when we were six or so.
My memory of my childhood has always been sketchy and I have always wondered if that is a pretty normal situation for a 51 year old in moderately robust health.
As I walked the dogs this morning, I tried to put together a sort of film screenplay  of different times of my early childhood but it was like remembering a film plot from a movie I had never seen....
Tiny  snapshots popped into my head for sure......a tennis racquet in a wooden stretch frame sitting on the Lino floor of my grandmother's house. A small handmade stool my grandfather made. my brother in law-to-be chasing his car down the road after the brake had slipped. But trying to remember any more than snapshots  felt like looking through frosted glass.
It's kind of bugged me today

“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."

It's grim up north

Chris is working in London, and suited and booted will be just about tucking into a lovely Meal in a posh restaurant in Covent Garden right now

I am sat in my long John's and woolly hat in front of the fire with a cat on my shoulder

Eating baked beans on toast from my knee

Hey ho

Questions

This questionnaire seems to be doing the blog rounds ?...it's an easy blog " filler" given the only news I have today is the unveiling of my homemade a Christmas Wreath, which some local wag ( you know who you are) described as looking as though it was constructed by someone with ' multiple problems")

1. If there's one chocolate left in the box, do you have to eat it, or can you leave it sitting there?
I would, I am afraid, scoff it. My relationship with food has always been a little bit shaky. Ie one scotch egg will never be enough

2. What do you want to remember most of all, if you survive to be very old?
Well, I would like to be able to remember everything ........from 0 to 80.......and I look forward to the time that I start to remember the smallest of things from childhood...( a time that I don't really remember when I think about it)

3. Would you enjoy being a very rich and famous celebrity?
 I would like to be richer ( I have always had the fantasy of having a detached house with a barn and out buildings) and I would like to experience a celebrity lifestyle for a day or two......just to do the red carpet thing........with a " Poseidon Adventure" dinner jacket on.

4. What piece of music do you personally find most emotionally moving?
Almost too many to mention here but at the moment " The gift of mortality" by James Horner 
And " Remember me" by Thomas Bergersen can move me to tears

5.  How do you deal with depression, anxiety and bad times?
Depression: I never get depressed, never have been and apart from short term worries, normal to the ups and downs of life, I never have experienced a problem with anxiety either.
As for " bad times" at 51 I have had my fair share of them, and I have found that Chris' stoic support, long telephone calls with friends, food, the odd glass or two of white and dog cuddles very helpful.

6. What do you love doing that bores everyone else stiff?
Housework,blogging,cleaning the wrinkles of a bulldog's face with a cotton wool stick, scotch egg eating,writing Christmas cards, making lists, thinking about the zombie apocalypse, collecting fucked up chickens, polishing church pews, rearranging furniture.

7. Did you ever encounter an inanimate object that seemed to have a will of its own?
I am borderline dyspraxic, and so have a tendency to fall over anything and everything. I am so cack handed that I have to take extra care when holding anything breakable

8. What is your very favourite hotel or restaurant?
Well I have stayed in a few lovely hotels in my time including  places like the Waldolf Astoria but my favourite hotel is the shabby chic Santa Maria in Sitges,Spain. 
As for restaurants? I think you can't quite beat the atmosphere of the Oyster Bar under Grand Central Station..

9. Do you think prisoners who have committed particularly vile crimes should be segregated in jail for their own safety?
What on odd question? As long as they recieved some psychological input in order to come to terms with the consequences of their actions....I don't care.

10. What do you wish you had known when you were 18?
I wish I'd known a lot more about sex! 
Oh I would also have liked to be introduced to the joys of scotch egg eating 

It's all go....

Christmas seems to have hit trelawnyd with a vengeance. There seems something for everyone....The Rotary Club mobile Christmas Tree!  Production of " The Bossy Elf" !, Christmas bingo! And  a carol service with mulled wine! Bloody hell, trelawnyd has gone  all CHRISTMAS CRAZY!
(I am reminded of  the Red Faced Welsh farmer here....who once bellowed " sing you buggers SING," to bobbled hatted locals when he took a mobile Christmas Tree around the farms with a piano on the trailer.)
Anyhow this morning is one of those fine mornings that everyone seemed to be out and about in the village. Farmer Basil with his dead eyed sheepdog sat with him in his truck waved a jaunty wave,
Ian the policeman, stopped for a chat about nothing and Sandra Cameron was out working away on her allotment. Auntie Glad's front door was wide open and I could see her beavering away inside polishing and dusting. I called out a " Hello" which she answered without really knowing it was me
" are you well this morning?" I shouted
A yellow duster flashed in the doorway
" my health is my wealth!" She sang out in her sing song voice!
A good thought for the day

Regression

I am always fascinated in the fact that some people can regress at times of illness and stress. As a nurse I have witnessed toddler tantrums from middle aged men under duress and thumb sucking frozen awareness by patients in pain.
It's a common phenomenon in human beings..and is, I suspect, a more common occurrence in men rather than women
When I am full of cold, I return to those " on the couch and under the duvet" times of childhood....watching tv quietly with a lucozade and sympathy and today, William, a six year old  welsh terrier has done exactly the same.
Yesterday, he caught one of his claws on the bed when he jumped down onto the floor and ripped it out. I sprayed the wound with some bright purple antiseptic spray, and although he only showed a minor limp, it was obvious he was uncomfortable and very sorry for himself.
This morning, William disappeared after his morning walk.

I found him fast asleep in bed. His body under the duvet and his head and sore paw gently laid out on my pillow

Gladys Strikes Again

The 95 year old Trelawnyd baking fairy has done her work yet again and has left us a large bag of warm scones and a small plate of mince pies in a bag tied to the front door. It was perfect timing seeing that we were having our usual festive argument  about how and where to put the Christmas tree.
We bought a cheap £20 one from B&Q today after sizing some sweet little trees outside a shop in Prestatyn high Street.   I Asked the chap how much his trees were going for?
" 39 quid!" He called out
I looked at Chris
All he said was
" ho........ho.........ho!" Before walking off

Panto

Now I have always been a bit sniffy about panto........I never went to it as a child and apart from chuckling at the principle boy slapping her thigh in Dick Whittington whilst stage whispering a lusty
" Twelve o'clock and no sign of Dick"  at the audience......I have always thought of the medium as more low brow than the poorest of soaps.
( for my readers that are not well versed in this particular brand of theatre ....please have a look at wikipedia's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantomime)
Tonight Chris and my sisters, hubbies and sister in law went to Llandudno for a meal and to see Sleeping Beauty......
Some of it was poorly acted
Some of the jokes were bleeding dire
And some of the dancing had old hoofer Chris tutting in his seat.
But do you know what?
After an hour watching a faded tv star hamming things up in a big frock and a  Polish accent, I realized that despite my snobbishness
I was actually enjoying the production...
( I particularly liked the evil queen shouting at the audience with a rasping" I've been hissed in the morning, hissed in the afternoon and hissed in the evening"
Fancy that!