Bake Off Week 7

Well it's Bake off night

And the going is  getting tough

Loveable Glenn has been kicked off for a puff pastry malfunction ( how apt)

Welsh gal Becca cranked up a gear

Francis got a well deserved merit

And big head Kimberly really got on my tits

Best bit of the programme

The much repeated 

And well loved

" get a ruddy grip" telling off by Mel

Loved it

Officialdom

Do academics make passes as nurses who wear glasses.?.....I will ask chris

It's the curse of the middle aged.....

I have been battling officialdom all day
And my stress levels have been sufficiently raised to a level  that would make the likes of Mother Theresa kick the shit out of one of her fellow nuns.
First my " emergency" designer scotch Egg gift from Tom Stevenson was NOT delivered by the post office ( the postie left one of those " we couldn't deliver your parcel" letters even though I was in the cottage at the time!) .....The lady in the sorting office told me that I could not retrieve the eggs until tomorrow and could not quite understand my chagrin as I shared with her my worry that the said egg may " go off" in the warmth of its packaging!........., then I had a somewhat lively debate with the water board about one of their tankers who has clipped  my field wall yet AGAIN! before spending a wonderful 45 minutes explaining to a painfully polite but ever so vague call centre lady in the Indian sub Continent , that Bt had sent me the wrong broadband hub replacement .
I could spit
At least my new £ 1.99 ebay magnifying spectacles WERE delivered without incident

For the first time in months I can actually read the small print!

Does My Bum Look Big In This?

I have now lost 10 lbs in 21 days

I was stood half asleep after being on the scales at fat club tonight

When the leader said cheerfully

"Looking good girlfriend"

I smiled and said " thank you" like a schoolgirl

Then shut up rather quickly

She had been talking to someone else

Hey ho

Very tired tonight.....
It all got rather fraught when I got home..
Chris has lost a slipper
And Winifred seems to be the prime suspect

The Object Of Someone's Affection

I had a busy shift with my patient last night

and after walking the dogs,  doing some shopping and finishing some housework

I " accidently" fell asleep in the arm chair after opening up my Ipad

I woke up a hour or so later, with a bad neck, drooling saliva down my chin

And with two sets of ladies eyes staring intently into my face

Oh to be the object of someone's affection

To Do List

Seeing Othello the other night, meant that another one of those things on my " to do" list had been ticked off. " To do" lists are the everyday version of the more glamorous and definitely more emotive " bucket lists" .....you know...the ones where someone hurls themselves out of an airplane with a fixed smiling expression plastered all over their grey faces or get their snorkel blocked off by a dolphins nether regions in a therapeutic " swimming experience"
" To do" lists are a little more pragmatic
And for the most part, I am sure, a little cheaper.

Here are a few of mine for the next twelve months

-Find a ram to impregnate Sylvia and Irene this autumn ( he needs to be a small fellow)
Lamb chops in the freezer by spring

-Start a conversational Spanish course during the cold winter months so that I can at least attempt to conquer my embarrassingly British condition of being silently paralysed in social situations whilst on holiday

- reach my target weight ( or near enough) before Christmas so that I can bend over in public without  letting out a pressure fart that sounds like the Queen Mary's Hooter going off.!

-wear a dinner jacket in public! ( we are going to New York again next year ...and so...in the big apple....I can revisit my Towering Inferno tuxedo fetish)

- learn how to .....milk a cow
                             And  Spin my own wool

- not to get too embroiled in The WALKING DEAD  series 4 ( yeah right!)

- win the BEST QUICHE class in the Trelawnyd Flower Show ( just the bleeding once!)

- get our grandfather clock working

- finish my Samaritan training.

The general public clamouring to see john' s quiche in the 2014 flower show

Don't do it.....

I haven't had a scotch egg in nearly two weeks!

I had to get petrol on the way home and spied a lonely one sat

all forlorn and pathetic in the fridge section 

of the spar garage

It waved shyly at me

I waved back

It whispered " buy me now"

I shook my head

" I can't "

I said.. But I knew I had £ 1.99 to buy it

It blew a kiss at me

And I am sure the receptionist  at the garage

Shouted over 

" remember you are at weightwatchers on Monday"

Just in time..

I bought a diet coke

More Trelawnyd Dogs

Video 2
Shows all the dogs nicely...until I stepped on a chicken .....I am working all day tomorrow....will blog tomorrow night

Y Front Heaven

I have only posted this somewhat" odd" photo as it has amused me more than anything else has done this week. I had been shelling peas ( which can be a dreadfully monotonous pastime if you have a load to do) when I heard the unmistakable sound of a snorting bulldog at play.
I went to investigate, only to find Winifred flinging around a pair of Chris' white y fronts she had nabbed from their drying position on the gate ( yes I know..I'm a classy homemaking  bitch)
One corner of the leg had caught on her right canine tooth and she was having great fun swinging the underwear around her head.
And I thought that last post was so bloody poetic