Celine Dion Eat Your Heart Out

It's cheesy

But here's another song I am having at my funeral

Off to Peter's birthday now after a day shift

( Peter is judging the " name the Turkey competition )

Crestwood Eggs Taste Test

For baby sitting their fish and uncommunicative gecko, affable despot Jason and wife Claire gave me,amongst other things,four Crestwood Scotch eggs as a bit of a thank you!
A thoughtful and much appreciated gift, I thought.
Now I have not taste tested this variety before,
And so I set aside a few precious minutes this evening, to give the little beauties my full attention
Here is my assessment

Egg quality 8/10
Grey egg ring - absent 10/10
Thickness of sausage meat cover  average 0.5 centimetres 6/10
Breadcrumb cover - slightly soft in places 5/10
Biteability - fair 6/10

Overall... A fair scotch egg with an averagely tasty crumb cover.Not in the class of Waitrose best or Marks& Spencer quality ranges...... But, nevertheless a nice scotch egg, which could be enjoyed at a pub lunch or a lower Middleclass family get together

Calling All Exhibitors

The deadline for taking entries for the Trelawnyd Flower Show is only a week away.The big set up of the village Hall takes place next Friday when the Children's art from the school is displayed , and the tea tables are set up each with a vase of garden flowers set out on hand embroidered tablecloths. The trophies from last year are polished and set out, Auntie Glad's bric-a-brac stall is assembled and great rolls of paper are celotaped to trestle tables in readiness for the entries to come in early on Saturday morning.
We have been debating whether or not to cancel this years show as to many in Treawnyd Sylvia Evans WAS the Flower Show.....it's heart and it's soul.. Some have felt it distrespectful to carry on, especially if Sylvia's funeral was scheduled for the end of the week Others have voiced a " The Show must go on" kind of mentality, which I must say is hard as every tiny part of the show set up was choreographed within an inch of its life by Sylvia and long term treasurer Irene, who by a quirk of fate will not be available to participate in this years show.
I must admit, if it was solely up to me.
I would cancel the whole event.
But it's NOT up to me,
and so after a long discussion with Sylvia's family,other members of the cast so to speak and to Auntie Glad ( who feels that only a war could disrupt the show) it has been decided that we will go ahead as planned.
AND SO I AM BLOGGING TODAY TO ENCOURAGE THOSE THAT ARE THINKING OF ENTERING THEIR PRODUCE FLOWERS, VEG, CRAFTS AND FUNNY NOVELTY VEG IN THE SHAPE OF AN ANIMAL BUT ARE IN TWO MINDS ABOUT IT....PLEASE DO

Due to the erratic wether we have recently experienced, as well as the fact that the local Eisteddfod will be taking place over next weekend show entries are predicted to be down this year. .
So as Tesco always says " every little helps"
So please Support the show, as a mark of respect for the former flower show champion That was
Sylvia Evans....and get your entries ready.


Details of the show can be viewed on

http://trelawnydflowershow.blogspot.co.uk/
Of
Contact me on
01745571838
For further information

You Are Not As Popular As You Think!

One look at my " encouraging " blog stats, and I could be forgiven in thinking that Steven Spielberg's Amblin Entertainments would be soon snapping up the film rights of  Going Gently ( with Russell Crowe playing me, Bradley Cooper as Chris and a delightful cameo performance from Helen Mirren as Auntie Glad)
Alas, I don't think that these stats always give the budding blog writer the full picture.
In between Google, and odd referral sites such as fif-course and Feedly reader ....genuine Going Gently fans are not as common as loose knicker elastic is in a whorehouse.
It's good to remember this fact.
" you are never as popular as you think you are"
Such should be blogger's mantra.
Having said all this
As soon as I reach my 1 millionth page view
I'm opening the champagne
I am as shallow as the next old Queen !
Hey Ho
Off to bed now for an hour....night shift last night

Sylvia Evans

Sylvia WAS The Flower Show

The humour of yesterday's post, belied a very real sense of sadness that circulated through certain factions of Trelawnyd yesterday as the health of  matriarch village stalwart ,champion cake maker and Flower Show Diva, Sylvia Evans deteriorated in hospital.
The phone has rung a few times this Morning, every caller passing on the sad news that Sylvia had indeed passed away .
My thoughts are with her family today
The village has lost someone quite special.

Shagged Senseless

Daphne & Nell

Now what would you say, if I told you that you could have sex " on tap" so to speak during all of the daylight hours of the day.
" Chance would be fine thing" may be the response from many I suspect.

If that is the case, please give a thought for my last two remaining Indian runner female ducks, Daphne and Nell . With the recent demise of their drake Halleh ( who refused to have sex with either duck  preferring the company of the more buxom and obviously sexier hens), two younger and more virile drakes have grabbed their opportunity for multiple sex partners and have given the runners a good " seeing to" so to speak.
Unfortunately it's got all out of hand.
Out of all of our animals , drakes are the most rampant.
They are aggressive, demanding and ardent love makers.
They also don't pause for a post coital cuddle and cigarette
It's wham bang, " I'm going to grab you by the back of the head and shag you until your eyeballs pop out" kind of romance..........there are no flowers and chocolates in the duck world

Yesterday I had to save Daphne from the long grass, where she had effectively collapsed under the strain of it all.
She allowed me to pick  her up ( unheard of in hysterical runner duck circles) and heaving a massive sigh of relief, she joined an already vagina smarting Nell in their own peaceful and shag free run.
They will have to stay there until the drake testosterone fails in the autumn.

Peace has now returned to the field
Hey ho
Postscript:
The two males have been given their own run for a while leaving the six females free on the field.
The peace continues

A Fix

Had to go to a council meeting tonight

Searching for a lost duck until late

And was still doing the washing up at 9.45

Eventually I sat down  20 minutes ago

And will relax with a rerun of

My favourite movie

Bliss

Gracie & Mary

Gracie........not a big " excitement" personality

Being responsible for a child's much loved pet is a daunting prospect, especially when you know noting about benign, putty coloured reptiles which seem to spend their whole existence with their arses stuck in a mass of plastic foliage.
Affable despot and blog pin up Jason, gave me various instructions regarding water spraying, feeding  and the like, so I was ready to cope with the responsibility of " looking after Gracie"
Or so I thought.
The water spraying was easy, the sorting out why Gracie's tank was not plugged into the mains was sorted ( I had to ring my sister who is works in a national pet shop to find this one out.....)
But I couldn't quite get the hang of tipping  a few miniature live crickets into the tank for Gracie to chomp on.
Miniature crickets are slippery little suckers.
On my first attempt I managed to get just one into the tank
On my second attempt I dropped the cricket container onto the living room floor, scattering the little bastards everywhere....
Have you ever had to round up a dozen or so tiny insects from an average shagpile in someone else's home?
No me neither.
It took an absolute bloody age.
..and this is only day one!

I think I'll stick to baby rabbits
Roland seems to still be doing fairly well btw
Although my pet shop expert sister thinks he may be a her
Roland has therefore been renamed Mary

Mary , still going and walking