i
watched the Movie Shadowlands again tonight and was completely blown away by Anthony Hopkins wonderful ability to cry "On Camera".... Just watch this scene with Joseph Mazzello (the kid from Jurassic Park)
It pulls your guts out
In my mind Hopkins out classes the likes of Richard Burton anyday
Yesterday the village took on a particularly "Christmasy" feel.
A single Christmas tree, complete with lights had been set up outside the village Hall and as I passed through Chapel Street with the dogs, the Village School Children tumbled out of the memorial Hall dressed as angels, Yuletide fairies and selection of animals. I had to smile as I spied one lone figure, following the others, dressed, quite bizarrely as the Easter Bunny.
Nativity plays are not quite what they once were.
Several of the school Governors came down the steps and I said hello to Pat (my animal helper) who had enjoyed the play with Daphne.
"Was it good?" I asked them
Pat nodded " It was lovely....but I have no idea what it was all about" she laughed
Little traditions such as these are happening all over the world.
Kids with tea towels on their heads singing "away in a manger"
I was somewhat "hung over" yesterday. Not through any alcohol but I was "jet lagged and muggy" following a particularly sad night shift on Wednesday. I looked after a dying young man, the son of people I know.
There is something dreadfully poignant about a bereavement at this time of year.
When I got home, there was a small package left on the garden gate. Inside was a Christmas card from one of my egg customers and with it were two beautifully wrapped pieces of Christmas Cake, each one individually decorated with tiny edible sprigs of Holly.
With Chris working away, I sat in front of the fire , on perhaps the coldest day of the year, and ate them still dressed in my hat and coat.
A melancholic little Christmas moment ......we all need them from time to time
Very recently at work I was reminded that being "out" and gay was and is for some people, not the norm in a person's life
Living "in the closet" for many is still the only way to be
Hearing these stories of repression and fear, brings back memories that are awkward and painful for me to remember.
Many
years ago now I had a relationship with a guy who was not "out" with
his family or with work. It was difficult for me, but I respected his wishes
and every Christmas, I felt like a second class citizen as no invites
came for the office do and no Christmas cards were passed on by the
potential in-laws.
I am being facetious here .......the truth was far less amusing.
If you are the boyfriend of someone in the closet
You do your own thing at Christmas.
I
chose to put up with things until I moved into his house for two weeks
in between house moves. His paranoia was such that he actually changed
his telephone number for the duration of my stay, and even though I
didn't really accept it at the time, that awfully insensitive action was
really the beginning of the end.
It
pains me that there are some people who feel that hiding great chunks
of their lives is a necessity, especially in the so-called enlightened
"2010s".I am not talking about the folk who are just private here....everyone has a right to privacy..no ..I am
talking about the people who embark on relationships that are hidden away.
There is shame involved and shame is the very worst of emotions to live
with.
Eventually,
for me, the feeling that someone was ashamed of what I was trying to be
a part of, made me walk away from what was in fact, a flawed
relationship.It took a while but it clarified what I would and what I
would not put up with and it eventually made me realise that we all have
choices to make when it comes to how we want to live our lives.
Like Scrooge, I think I can be grateful to those Ghosts of Christmas past... on reflection, mine made me move on to better days
Apart from a few presses for Chris, I have almost finished the Christmas Shop.
Like many people this year, we ( the immediate family) have all agreed on a ceiling of spending and will be forking out no more than 10£ or so ,on each person.
It's a pragmatic and sensible reaction to the recession everyone is banging on about
I have instructed that the nephews don't get us anything at all, which is, I hope, a welcome change as middle aged gay uncles are a nightmare to buy for!
I have been a bit naughty though, as I have bought a gift for my nephew's partner. It is a general gift for the "family" but I hope (and sort of know) that she will enjoy it the most.
I know you shouldn't have favourites
But I have a soft spot for her.
She has a certain warmth and sweetness about her.
Some people possess something "glowing" in their natures, a certain genuineness which cannot quite be disguised. They are not rare as hen's teeth, you find them everywhere.
Perhaps it's Christmas that's boosting my sentimental buttons?
Perhaps it's the fact that the older I get, the more squidgy hearted I become
who knows.....
Even the final scene of this Christmas advert for Morrissons is enough to get me all teary
If you get a chance....go on spoil someone you care about this Christmas
Anyhow , I am off to drop off some Yultide Shortbread to Kit Hopkins
she's just repaired the hand knitted slippers she made for us last year
Don't feed the dogs at the same time as making a meat pie!
It's been a busy old morning and I have been rushing around like a blue arsed fly.
Shopworn but still going Theresa the turkey
Yesterday, when I was out at the beach with the dogs, one of the ewes got stuck in the turkey enclosure fencing. Luckily next door neighbour JF saved her, but the side effect of all this little drama was that Bingley, the turkey stag, escaped and attacked the poor defenceless one eyed Theresa again.
She survived the assault and survived the night but this morning looked a sorry state indeed.
I have spend somewhat of a difficult hour cleaning her up at the kitchen sink, before spending an equally difficult time cleaning great globs of turkey shit up from the worktop and kitchen floor... !
Such is life on a miniature farm.
Anyhow back to the meat pie.
After I had sterilised the work tops, I got stuck in with making the aforementioned meat pie,
It was a bit of a rush job, when there is only seven hours of daylight left to you!
Beef, gravy, onions, mushrooms.... the filling looked pretty rustic and bloody mouthwatering I can tell you, but I was good, I didnt take a huge mouthful of meat covered spoon until after I fed the dogs their dinners.
Yes.........
you may be there a little before me
I picked up the wrong spoon.
and a substantial gobful of butcher's natural nutrition lamb, rice and pea dog food was not quite what I was expecting.
Could have been worse Now did I actually bleach those worktops, or did I just think about it?
One Day I suspect we will have to leave the village.
Chris' career will, I am sure, necessitate the move to another University in another part of the country, but that day, I am sure, is not rearing it's worrying head just at the moment.
When it does, I will cope with the fact.
We did it once,
we can do it again.
The "short term" animals have a tendency to replace themselves easily. Hens, ducks,guinea fowl can always be found a new home or can be replaced. The dogs , the blind Cogburn and Albert can go anywhere, for they are more adaptable than humans, no, my only worry amongst the menagerie if we did have to move would be the geese.
My geese do possess a particular corner in my heart.
There is something very special about them.
I understand that much of this attachment comes from the fact that I hand reared the three females from goslings (see above video of Winnie and Jo after imprinting on me soon after hatching)
But, I also know that it also comes from the fact that geese can live to well into their 20s.....
It's a sobering thought when you realise that an animal will be with you longer than the average child stays with their parents.
Even dogs only remain with you a decade or so.
I had a dream this morning that we were off to live in Japan
(why the hell was I dreaming of Japan?)
Anyhow in the dream we set off in the Berlingo to drive to our new home (it's only 6000 odd miles!) with the dogs , cat and Rooster Cogburn all sat on the back seat ... and sitting in the boot, all calm and still and compliant were the geese.....
