The Ghost Of Christmas Past

Very recently at work I was reminded that being "out" and gay was and is for some people, not the norm in a person's life

Living "in the closet" for many is still the only way to be

Hearing these stories of repression and fear,  brings back memories that are awkward and painful for me to remember.

Many years ago now I had a relationship with a guy who was not "out" with his family or with work. It was difficult for me, but I respected his wishes and every Christmas, I felt like a second class citizen as no invites came for the office do and no Christmas cards were passed on by the potential in-laws.
I am being facetious here .......the truth was far less amusing.

If you are the boyfriend of someone in the closet

You do your own thing at Christmas.

I chose to put up with things until I moved into his house for two weeks in between  house moves. His paranoia was such that he actually changed his telephone number for the duration of my stay, and even though I didn't really accept it at the time, that awfully insensitive action was really the beginning of the end.

It pains me that there are some people who feel that hiding great chunks of their lives is a necessity, especially in the so-called enlightened "2010s".I am not talking about the folk who are just private here....everyone has a right to privacy..no ..I am talking about the people  who embark on relationships that are hidden away. There is shame involved and shame is the very worst of emotions to live with.

Eventually, for me, the feeling that someone was ashamed of what I was trying to be a part of, made me walk away from what was in fact, a flawed relationship.It took a while but it clarified what I would and what I would not put up with and it eventually made me realise that we all have choices to make when it comes to how we want to live our lives.

Like Scrooge, I think I can be grateful to those Ghosts of Christmas past... on reflection, mine made me move on to better days

How Others See You

Apart from a few presses for Chris, I have almost finished the Christmas Shop. 

Like many people this year, we ( the immediate family) have all agreed on a ceiling of spending and will be forking out no more than 10£ or so ,on each person. 

It's a pragmatic and sensible reaction to the recession everyone is banging on about

I have instructed that the nephews don't get us anything at all, which is, I hope, a welcome change as middle aged gay uncles are a nightmare to buy for!

I have been a bit naughty though, as I have bought a gift  for my nephew's partner. It is a general gift for the "family" but I hope (and sort of know) that she will enjoy it the most.

I know you shouldn't have favourites

But I have a soft spot for her.

She has a certain warmth and sweetness about her.

Some people possess something "glowing" in their natures, a certain genuineness which cannot quite be disguised. They are not rare as hen's teeth, you find them everywhere. 

Perhaps it's Christmas that's boosting my sentimental buttons?

Perhaps it's the fact that the older I get, the more squidgy hearted I become

who knows.....

 Even the final scene of this Christmas advert for Morrissons is enough to get me all teary
If you get a chance....go on spoil someone you care about this Christmas 

Anyhow , I am off to drop off some Yultide Shortbread to Kit Hopkins

she's just repaired the hand knitted slippers she made for us last year

I know, they look odd

But they are bloody comfortable!!!!

If she patented them

she'd make a fortune!

I must Be Orally Fixated

Note to self:

Don't feed the dogs at the same time as making a meat pie!

It's been a busy old morning and I have been rushing around like a blue arsed fly.

Shopworn but still going Theresa the turkey

Yesterday, when I was out at the beach with the dogs, one of the ewes got stuck in the turkey enclosure fencing. Luckily next door neighbour JF saved her, but the side effect of all this little drama was that Bingley, the turkey stag, escaped and attacked the poor defenceless one eyed Theresa again.

She survived the assault and survived the night but this morning looked a sorry state indeed.

I have spend somewhat of a difficult hour cleaning her up at the kitchen sink, before spending an equally difficult time cleaning great globs of turkey shit up from the worktop and kitchen floor... !

Such is life on a miniature farm.

Anyhow back to the meat pie.

After I had sterilised the work tops, I got stuck in with making the aforementioned meat pie,

It was a bit of a rush job, when there is only seven hours of daylight left to you!

Beef, gravy, onions, mushrooms.... the filling  looked pretty rustic and bloody mouthwatering I can tell you, but I was good, I didnt take a huge mouthful of meat covered spoon until after I fed the dogs their dinners.

Yes......... 

you may be there a little before me

I picked up the wrong spoon.

and a substantial gobful of butcher's natural nutrition lamb, rice and pea dog food was not quite what I was expecting.

Could have been worse 
Now did I actually bleach those worktops, or did I just think about it?

Windmills of your Mind

For Johnno

A Goose is not just for Christmas...it's for life

One Day I suspect we will have to leave the village.

Chris' career will, I am sure, necessitate the move to another University in another part of the country, but that day, I am sure, is not rearing it's worrying head just at the moment.

When it does, I will cope with the fact.

We did it once,

we can do it again.

The "short term" animals have a tendency to replace themselves easily. Hens, ducks,guinea fowl can always be found a new home or  can be replaced. The dogs , the blind Cogburn and Albert can go anywhere, for they are more adaptable than humans, no, my only worry amongst the menagerie if we did have to move would be the geese.

My geese do possess a particular corner in my heart.

There is something very special about them.

I understand that much of this attachment  comes from the fact that I hand reared the three females from goslings (see above video of Winnie and Jo after imprinting on me soon after hatching)

But, I also know that it also comes from the fact that geese can live to well into their 20s.....

It's a sobering thought when you realise that an animal will be with you longer than the average child stays with their parents.

Even dogs only remain with you a decade or so.

I had a dream this morning that we were off to live in Japan

(why the hell was I dreaming of Japan?)

Anyhow in the dream  we set off in the Berlingo to drive to our new home (it's only 6000 odd miles!) with the dogs , cat and Rooster Cogburn all sat on the back seat ... and sitting in the boot, all calm and still and compliant were the geese.....

A Goose is not just for Christmas

In our Cottage

They are .......well for...... life!

Christmas Cards

There is less to him than meets the eye.

Must be one of my most favourite of  insults

It has been attributed to many wits but I suspect that  the actress and bonne vivante Tallulah Bankhead, was the original source.

I was only thinking about this quote whilst on my merry way delivering the Village Christmas Cards this morning.

The weather (as bloody usual) is a bit cold and wet, and even when  some of the envelopes did finally look a little dog eared and mucky by the time I had finished schelping around the mucky country lanes with bored dirty dogs in tow, I was happy that it was all a job well done!

Looking back to Trelawnyd from the farms south West of the village

Anyhow, like I was saying, I was thinking about "that quote" as I marched around.- well more specifically the original saying that was so cleverly turned around by Miss Bankhead

"There is more to him than meets the eye"

When I was waiting for the funeral of Mrs Jones to start, I fell into conversation with a chap from the village who is a farmer. He's very Welsh, very friendly and can be seen frequently around the village in his landrover,overalls and wellingtons.

The last thing you would perhaps think of when you looked at him, was that he had, over recent years, climbed numerous peaks in the Himalayas, roughed the elements in Australia's toughest Outback regions and had travelled to more countries than Alan Whicker at his most jet setting

 I was so surprised and entertained by his stories that I suggested he should write his own blog which outlined his adventures....

"it would make "Going gently" look somewhat pedestrian", I told him , "that's for sure!"

I am always reminded of  not "Judging a book by it's cover" when I spy another of the village characters battling for control over her overly aggressive collie when out for a walk.

Mrs Trellis can still be seen hurtling along the few pavements that we have here in Trelawnyd, calling out "whoa!!!!!!!!!!" with a slightly exasperated air as she is dragged from one potential safe haven to another.

Small,white haired and bespectacled, it is perhaps easy to forget that when she  was just a little younger she was solely responsible for the  safe delivery of literally thousands of babies in an inner city midwifery department.

AGAIN... books and covers come to mind!  

Anyhow I will leave you with an E Christmas Card that I received from affable despot Jason and fellow Chicken "fruit cake" Greta

Perhaps after reading this...You could think that there is "more to me than meets the eye!"

tee hee

You'd be wrong!

How's Sandra?

Nigel has just gone home after 24 hours of surreal conversation and  a slight overdose  from the Village Christmas Fair.....it was nice to see him.

Speaking of surreal conversations, this is a genuine conversation I had with a fellow villager who I will call Huw.

I saw him last night when I took the dogs out for their final walk. Huw was smoking a fag outside his house and  I called over to see how his wife was. She had been "unwell " for a few days

"How's Sandra?" I called

"She got dysentery!" Huw called back

Me: (concerned) "Where is she?- has she been hospitalized?"

Huw (deadpanning wonderfully) "No...she's upstairs eating chips!"

I chuckled all the way home

Made To Suffer

Glen and Maggie are safe

Daryl isn't

Tyreese has turned up with a few others

and Carol states she isn't a Lesbian

The walking Dead gets better!

Hey Ho
Series 3 continues in Feb