Public Speaking

I am not a big fan of public speaking.

I can do it at a push, and I thank my father's genes for the ability to do so...for he would have made a speech in the queue at Tescos if people would have let him. 

I am thinking about this subject today as I have been asked to give two "talks" to the local Women's Institute this Autumn...I think that they want a sort of precis of all the best bits from Going Gently , ....humorous and touching animal stories aka James Herriot...that sounds safe enough..... me thinks

Years ago, I once was asked to present a paper to several hundred delegates at a conference in The Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore.

The subject matter was emotive to say the least, as it was a personal account of how the ward staff and I , as ward manager, coped with a particularly "challenging", suicidal and acutely mentally ill patient in the inappropriate setting of a general spinal injury ward.

My account, in my mind was pitched just right. It was honest, reflective and dare I say interesting, and as I had practised the whole presentation a hundred times, the whole thing tripped off the tongue as easily as if I was a radio 4 news presenter!

Unfortunately I was wearing a body mike ( a new experience for me) and after I had finished my emotive account with a fairly dramatic flourish, the audience broke into an impressive and enthusiastic round of applause..........

I gestured towards them all with a dignified and professional nod,  and after I walked slowly ( and dramatically) to my seat to sit down. I caught the eye of Sharman Bibby who was an Occupational Therapist that I knew well.. She smiled and mouthed "phew" at me and I replied with a somewhat relieved "FUCK---------ING  hell" ....

Yes... you've guessed it.... The body mike was still on!

So, this morning, I must reassure Pat (who is the secretary of the local WI)......there will be no swearing!
I promise

Now, where's my list?

I feel somewhat jet lagged today

I was on night shift Saturday night

Yesterday was a night off

Am on  shift again tonight

My body ( 50 years old and somewhat jaded)

Is feeling the strain.

we fly to Sitges on Friday morning

Holiday checklist has just been written this am

I do like my lists

1) Animal care plans all written and laminated

2) White Underwear ( not the usual grey ones) (  and the new ones -without any holes in the gussets!) all folded and all ready for flying (just in case of a crash)

3) Pretentious Holiday reading obtained

4) Trashy Holiday reading ( to be read out of sight of others) obtained

5) Holiday shorts, walking dead T shirt, and new (non green) beach shoes all placed in a neat pile (we all love a new "travelling outfit)

6) Passport finally found after a hysterical, hyperventilating search

7) Imodium capsules located ( just in case)

8) Teaching sessions started for conscripted animals carers

9) 14 new " to do" lists written out and re written

10) Emergency Euros ordered

11) Check computer 100 times for Sitges weather report

12) Build up for a humdinger of a pre holiday row!

Ok I am ready!

Overheard this I did

Before I go to bed this morning I will take the opportunity to share an overheard conversation between two female nurses last night

Nurse 1: "Do you know my nipple isn't half sore"

Nurse 2: "Have you been jogging again?"

Nurse 1: " No...Josh caught me one with his lightsabre yesterday"

Nurse 2: "The force wasn't with you then?"

Nurse 1: "fraid not"

and with that I will say goodnight!
Goodnight x

Enjoy

Lazy post today.

I am on another night shift ( a favour for a workmate) so will have worked THREE nights this week,

Gawd practically a full timer! 

hell's teeth!

So I will leave you with a piece of music from a master composer

And that is John Williams, who at the age of 80 , has just been recognised by the Classic Brits for a lifetime achievement award in the field of film score

There's No Fool like................

At 8.45 I was first into the vets' waiting room!

Meg and William needed their shots before their holiday in kennels next week and I wanted to miss the traffic on the A55.

For those that follow Going Gently, you will know that I am a regular visitor to the vets, I usually see one of the junior medical staff when I go, you know the sorts...trendy, combat panted twenty somethings with bags of confidence and an easy way about them but today the senior chap was on duty. 

He is the vet that looks like George Clooney.

"Oh it's the chap with the piglet!" George crooned as I walked into the consultation room

( the last time I saw him was when I took no 21 in with a septic knee)

The vet flashed his perfect white teeth, perfect wide smile and perfect twinkling blue eyes and I literally turned into a simpering  old maid from a Jane Austen novel.

I laughed far too loudly at his comment and was suddenly aware that there was a gravy stain all down my tracksuit top

George smiled his wide smile again "How is that little pig she was a real sweetie!" he asked

"She's in the freezer" I squeaked 

"Oh, that's a shame" he said

I smiled inanely and giggled like a school girl.

I am such a sad old git.

"He turned his attention to the dogs who like me seemed captivated by his charming good looks

"William and Meg eh?", he boomed "I like that...good proper names"

"Thank You" I simpered away....(I cannot believe that I actually said Thank You)

The conversation and consultation carried on in a similar vein

He said something practical

I laughed at it like an over-the-hill Bridget Jones

I don't think he noticed

I bet he's used to it

hey ho

Toys

Meg has had her haircut today

Now I remember Just where I got the Welsh Terrier Bug

I think I was 4

My favourite toy when I was a boy was surprisingly NOT a stuffed dog

It was, in fact a model farm!

Go figure

I am, What I am?

I missed the begining of the Paralympic Openening Ceremony ( we were out at a family dinner) but I did rush home just in time to see Team GB enter the stadium!

I didn't cry until the whole stadium joined in with Beverly Knight ( who had a great pair of lungs by the way)

with the adopted gay anthem of "I am what I am!"

Ian Mc Kellen had a lovely time ( bless him) ......as did ( I hope) the star of the whole ceremony, Steven Hawking who turned up so much I am sure the batteries on his electric wheelchair were down to nothing!

A lovely chap I used to know from Sheffield's Spinal Unit read the Judge's oath and  Claire Balding did her usual top notch commentary, this time for Channel 4.....

Loved it all..... thought provoking....... celebratory...... and generally very entertaining

Britain has done both ceremonies proud

PS  The natural enthusiasm of signer Deepa Shastri made me smile as blind soprano Denise Leigh belted out something worthy!

A Precursor to The Para Olympics

Last night the  Olympic flame returned "home" to Britain's first para Olympic village(namely the Guttman centre at Stoke Mandeville Hospital), before it's journey to Stratford today.

I know the "village" well.

It was first built for the 1948 Stoke Mandeville Games which was the precursor for the paraolympics and every year the 11 spinal injury units from around Britain still send small hand picked teams of competitors from within their in-patient population to take part in an inter-Spinal Injury Unit games,

This "small scale" mini competition is viewed very much part as a patient's rehabilitation, as it is often the very first time a newly injured individual has to "stretch their wings" so to speak

I remember these times with great affection because they were essentially a five day hard slog and party fest for nurse helpers,physios and patients alike.

At these games, the newly injured, many of whom had never left the safety of a rehabilitation unit, suddenly had freedom to experience new sports and meet new people, in an atmosphere of positivism and normality.

Sheffield's latest team-- patients and staff members

 Risks were taken and to be honest,encouraged. Copious amounts of alcohol were drunk and many young men and women ( disabled and able bodied) had a cracking good time doing what young people from all corners of this country do when they get together, they had fun.

Rehabilitation in our modern  nhs is a knotty  kind of problem I think. In these days of risk assessment and litigation, I imagine it is much harder to justify the type of "seat of your pants" rehab experience we inflicted on our patients in days gone by compared to today's more careful and linear care planned-to-death experience.

Bloody hell, I remember trying to change a patient's suprapubic catheter in the middle of the night after I and he had quaffed far too many cans of cider ( our faces was smeared with half a ton of takeaway pizza btw) and all the time we were  battling with this knotty problem my staff nurse "helper" was throwing up in one of the Guttman's vast disabled toilets!)

Professional? not really

Proper and vital rehabilitation?........ absolutely!