This Won't Hurt A Bit!

Sometimes I need to remember that my particular brand of humour does not always travel at all well to all normal everyday events and situations
This morning was a case in point.
I went down to the doctor's surgery in the neighbouring village for a check up this morning.
I have been suffering some abdominal bloating of late, so needed a once over, some routine blood tests and a bit of an MOT (when you are 50 things have a tendency to all go at once so to speak!)
Anyway, there was a new, rather earnest and thorough GP on duty today.
He took a detailed history, gave me a the usual prod and feel and after he fiddled a bit with his computer he turned to me as a bit of an afterthought and said rather too quickly "Oh I think I may have to give you a rectal examination!"
Quick as a flash I replied  "Don't you think you should buy me lunch or at least a gin and tonic before you said that?"
The irony and humour missed the bullseye by a mile and the GP sat there vacantly for a moment and said with a somewhat bemused look on his face
"huh?"
......
Hey ho
ps. Luckily I didn't need the old "prod" once I questioned the dr!

My Olympic Crush

No! surprising as it may seem my Olympic crush was NOT any members of this rowing team

My Olympic Crush hails from the Stockholm Olympics of 100 years ago!

Have a look at the beaming winner of the joint 100 metre relay ( second from the left)

at 19 seconds of this short EDF video

It shows Victor D'Arcy literally bursting with pride

and I thought he was a bit of an old dish!

Love the Uniform shirt too! much more impressive than Stella's modern day efforts!

Be Careful Of What You Wish For

My Overtime shift was fine. I only worked a short shift (10pm to 6am), so had time for a short sleep with a Welsh terrier laid on my head before I had to get up to do the morning jobs.
When I walked over to the field, I spied two egg boxes sat on the dry stone wall, and thinking that someone had left them out for me ( as many of the villagers tend to do), I ignored them until I walked back into the cottage for that blissful "first coffee of the day"


In the  boxes were carefully placed 12, clean and intact bantam sized eggs , a fact that confused me greatly at first, that is until I took a closer look at them and realised that someone had actually left me a dozen guinea fowl eggs.


I have no idea where they have come from, but I suspect it is a gift from someone who had read my blog about my missing guinea hen, for written on the top of one box was the words 
"to help you replace Ivy "


As fate would have it Sorrel the buff who hatched the single chick, Celeste earlier in the year, has gone broody yet again, so on impulse I tipped the eggs into her nest and watched the big fat hen collect all twelve underneath herself with a collection of satisfied clucks..in a few weeks time we may have some keets on the field


People are so very kind are they not?
And So I have to post a BIG thank you to my "secret"  blog reader and egg leaver
Whoever you may be
ps/ Thank you Margaret from Babell, I found your note!

Chicken Art and Other Chuckles!!

I am working overtime tonight (I must be mad) so in need of a much welcomed cheer up I have posted the following!

Gary Larson is the only artist I know that has captured the essence of a stupid chicken!

Thanks Cindy

I love his take on life

This "fan art" piece from the Walking Dead website made me titter too!

Coming Down

 Note Bene's account of how he participated in the Opening Ceremony of The Olympic games makes for an interesting read.With all of the build up, the camaraderie,the excitement, and the adulation of  most of the watching UK population, I am now wondering just how Mr Bene is coping with getting back to some normality now that inflatable chimneys have been  packed away and Mr Brannah has returned to filming his award winning Wallender?
It must be hard......very hard!
We all enjoy having a challenge.
We all enjoy producing something that we are proud of
and to some small extent, I am sure that there is a bit of a showman in all of us.


Yesterday I stopped to have a chat with Basil, a local farmer
He asked me if I was holding my Allotment Open Day this year. He is a the sixth or seventh person to ask me this over the past week or so and I think he was slightly disappointed when I told him that for this year only I have given the open day a miss.
In some ways I regret my decision now. The build up to the day, the jaunty sense of community that I think it generated and the sense of achievement we all had when nearly fifteen hundred quid had been raised for the church and for motor neurone Disease,  are all very addictive positive strokes that elicit purpose and a sense of pride.
Despite, everything, I know, I have missed the challenge of it all this year.

The 2011 Open Day

ménage à trois

It has been noisy on the field for the last 24 hours.
Last night Alf and Hughie could be seen galloping anxiously to and fro by the hawthorn hedge, with their necks held high, They were looking for little Ivy, who was no where to be seen and were calling their "machine gun calls" time and time again in an effort to locate their lost "flock" member.
Far in the distance I thought I could hear a distinctive guinea fowl reply, but by dusk, the hen had not returned and the males had reluctantly made their way to their roosting tree where they sat chatting quietly to themselves like unhappy old men on a park bench.

Alf and Hughie (foreground) Ivy is behind

Guinea fowl do not mate for life, but they do forge incredibly strong bonds with each other.so it is with a very heavy heart that I watched Hughie and Alf's moving efforts to find Ivy.
Little scraps of birds they may be, but the anxiety and emotion they exhibit when separated is very real indeed...there is no need for anthropomorphism here...
I suspect Ivy has made herself a nest and has "gone to ground" so to speak. It was not long ago since Rachel over at the nearby riding stables found a guinea nest with 15 eggs inside it. and not wanting Ivy to sit, I told Rachel to destroy it....perhaps nature has taken over once again.


Ebb and Flow....Ebb and Flow...... this is the way of free range animals..........today Felicity Shagwell and the mini-me's have just been let out of their run to join in with the field population and next week Carol and Polenta may be hardy enough to start their adventures in the long grass with the remaining runner ducks
The circle continues.


Postscript ( written 5 hours later)
I have just spent a fruitless 2 hours helping elderly villager, Mr Ellis to sort out his Broadband connection (and made a friend out of a delightful BT call centre employee from the Indian subcontinent as I did so) and so I was fairly late taking the dogs out for a walk.... we went down Gypsy Lane which was the direction in which I thought I heard Ivy last night, and on the way back, I noticed the little guinea fowl slowly  making her way  homeward across the far fields.
Apologies for this now rather pointless post......as all the guineas are happily filling their fat faces with an extra portion of corn...........

I Wish I could Bottle it !

The following is an abject lesson to anyone who is feeling rather apathetic, middle aged and lacking in energy and motivation.....
Phone Message left on our answer phone today:"Aunty Gladys here....can you call round?" 
I duly called around at 6pm to collect some scones, all neatly tied up in a little bag
"I have been out today knocking on doors!" she said as I left her spotlessly clean kitchen
"In all I have now sold 300 raffle tickets for the flower show"
She is now just 93 years old

ps/ for those new to the blog...Auntie Glad is not my real aunt.. it's just a nickname she is known by!

Smile And The Whole World Smiles With You!

Yesterday I spent a rather chilly few hours at the Prestatyn Flower Show in a desperate proactive attempt to drum up some new blood for our Show which takes place on the 18th of Aug.

Like any sharp publicity guru, I took a secret weapon with me to "pull the punters in" so to speak, and yesterday I took secret weapon William.
Having a dog sat on your knee allows people to feel as though they can come and chat. They are an ice breaker, they are a bit of a draw...
without him, all I would have presented to the good people of Prestatyn is my podgy, slightly scruffy , and  grumpy self ( I was cold!)....hardly a picture of welcoming Welsh "good humour"

After 4 hours I gave away just 5 of my programmes.... A score of people stopped, but most just wanted to make a fuss of William, who enjoyed all of the "he's so adorable!" plaudits until, even his good nature got a little fed up with slobberly old ladies kissing him on the top of the head without asking, and eventually he tried to hide under the red checked tablecloth