"The Rude Man with the dogs"

This is an open letter to the car drivers of Trelawnyd

To whom it may concern,
I am writing to you all to explain away my behaviour when I am out for a walk with my dogs between the hours of 6.45am-7.30 am and 9-00 pm-9.30pm.
You should recognise me as I am :-
-The only guy in the village that walks three dogs together
-I am a bit of a scruffy bastard
You should also remember me, because I am the chap that does not move too swiftly when you approach me in the lane.Please understand that I will make you slow down

I understand that sometimes you will become frustrated that I will hold you up somewhat before I amble to the side of the road to let you pass, but I must tell you here and now that I am not being "difficult" when I do this..... there is some method in my madness.

The reason I keep you all waiting is because of this little chap

His Name is Albert 

and he is four years old.

He is a small, difficult-to-see-in-the-dark cat who broke his right hind leg rather badly three years ago and the injury, which as mismanaged by the vet, has left him with a painful and stiff leg, a bad limp and healthy disregard for the local animal health care system.

It has also meant that when he accompanies us on our morning and evening "wee" stops, he sometimes finds it difficult to get out of the way of local drivers who occassionally act a little blasé when they use the lane as a cut through

So when you see me, lumbering in front of you, without a seeming care in the world, I am not being rude when I hold you up, I am , in fact, being a bit of a feline hero by preventing a funny little cat who resembles Sammy Davies Junior, from becoming another road kill statistic.

With Best wishes,
Happy Driving

John Gray

aged 50 ( and a bit)

Bwthyn-y-llan,

Trelawnyd

Where the Hell is Matt? 2012

Do you remember that rather sweet video of Matt dancing with a whole plethora of "locals " in his dance video from all around the world?
Matt's original video
well this is the updated version.....it's sweet, infectious and if bottled could solve all of the world's problems
( thanks dia)

Tall ones at the back please!

I love this photo

I love group photos period.

They amuse me
The recent bad weather has taken it's toll on the pensioner hens this month, I have lost five of my original girls who were all over six years old in just 2 weeks
The above photo is a collection of the Crackhead whores and the rescue hens

The photo has set me up for the day as I am gearing myself up for a bit of a bunfight down at the Nat West Bank this morning as my wages did not go into my account last Thursday.

We are living on a technical knife edge in the modern day computer "APP" age are we not?

All it takes is a computer f*ck up, and "goodbye civilisation, Hello Dark ages"....

Granny had a the best idea.......she put her cash under the mattress....

Anyhow, I hope that the Bank staff are better informed than the "lady" from the Nat West call centre I spoke to on Friday .All she kept saying is that she had not idea what was in fact happening.....

an honest answer for sure....but a useless one all told.

In the 1980s I was a bank clerk in Rhyl's Nat West. That was before the internet banking age, where our massive works computers resembled something out of a poor  Science Fiction movie.

Every bank had a manager, sub manager and an extensive staff of clerks to support it and the public....now, there will be just three white faced saucer eyed staff to face the worried and the disappointed general public this morning......

and  all the computer will say is "no!"

Evie's Christening

Mum Rebecca and Evie ( third from left)  my nephew Chris is far right

Being  middle aged old poofs, we are not really used to Christenings.As far as I recall they can be rather stiff affairs with one half of the congregation trying to look sombre as a host of small, scrubbed shiny children wriggle loudly in their parents' arms, desperate to be able to gallop around the aisles like puppies around a garden.
My great niece,Evie, was Christened today in Ormskirk's Catholic Church . At the very start of the proceedings the affable elderly priest,Fr Godric Timney, underlined just how informal he wanted things to be, and I suspect most of the congregation was just a little surprised just how informal it would be as he chatted away to us, the God Parents ( who her quizzed good naturedly about their roles) and to all of the children present, who he called up to the front of the church to participate in the proceedings.
Several of the children were given "jobs" to do. One was sent for the anointing oil, another held the Christening stole whilst another was sent packing to get the candles. It was a delightfully informal affair.
Towards the end of the "get together" ( I hesitate calling it a service), Evie, overshadowed the chattering kids at the front by crying away quite lustily and the Priest, who was obviously an old hand at these things sang out
"Bawl away Evie, I don't mind, for I have the microphone!!!"
It was lovely.
After the service we joined around 80 guests for a cracking meal at a local restaurant and by late afternoon we were winging our way back over the Welsh Border, both Chris and I asleep in the back of my sister's car, like a pair of big toddlers in our booster seats

and all I drank was diet coke!

Erddig and My Favourite Lesbian

Chris and I outside Erddig

Nigel and I 

Like Three middle aged old poofs Nigel, Chris and I all traipsed over to the National Trust House at Erddig for a mooch around the house, grounds and cafe. The rain held off and the trip proved to be a rather relaxing and enjoyable afternoon 
Speaking of middle aged old poofs.. here is a somewhat bawdy clip of my favourite lesbian Miriam Margolyes being interviewed a few years alongside the charming Stanley Tucci and the non-flavour of the month comic Jimmy Carr......
she tells a bloody CRACKING story
Enjoy x

J. Brahms

Wales is again on a flood alert for this weekend and the weather has again closed in on the village, making it seem deserted, lonely and rather miserable.

I have no farting anecdotes, animal poo stories and eccentric village character tales to share today...it is the day I will be cleaning the cottage before our friend Nigel arrives and it is the day that I will run the duster and the dyson around the church 

Even the dogs do not want to leave the warmth of the kitchen sofa

This piece of music, is perhaps Brahms's at his most lyrical and melancholic.....

It sums up this kind of grey day perfectly 

Prometheus

Some beautifully designed visuals
and a nicely crafted performance by Michael Fassbender
isn't enough to save this Hollow venture into pre Sigourney Weaver land......
6/10
Hey ho
(ps I thought I was the only one in the cinema and seconds after I sat down , I ungraciously forced out an incredibly loud fart!!
A minute later I heard a single cough from one of the seats in the back row
"Beam me up Scottie"

Who would have thought it?

The pretty pre Raphaelite Nurse brought her scrambled egg back with a laugh this morning.
She did not have a clue about just why an egg should be filled with chilli flavoured scrambled egg that is until she had read my blog last night ( I didn't even know that she read it) and she took it all in good stead as good looking nurses have a tendency to do....
It never ceases to amaze me that some 350 souls look at this blog daily. Of course some of that number will be directed to the site by google who will pick up on my more racy of "key words"  such as "crackhead whores"........bless them, I guess that the everyday adventures of a set of bald hens would let these clients down somewhat, and their fat little fingers would be a blur on the delete button.......but I must say, to all of the others who make the effort daily to read this drivel....a big thank you.
I now have 414 followers. Perhaps a quarter of which call in regularly and it does tickle me somewhat to think of the eclectic mix of people that are lurking out there in blogland....
So to all of the....

Chuckling Yorkshire teachers that think they live on a tropical island,
Canadian ladies with exquisite tastes,
hard working farmers from the American South and Midwest,
hard working farmers ( and their wives) from the UK!
Hard working small holders from Wales and France
Gentle ex pats with artistic pasts,
Aussie Bush dwellers and Yanks from all states
Owls, Pear Trees,Parrots,Foxes,River dwellers, Undertakers, Opera Singers and the odd housewife with a story,
Idiot Gardeners and the campy film reviewers
Zombie lovers and sweet natured dog owners,
Germans,Canadians, aussies and Kiwis
Londoners and Country dwellers!
Hippies and goats! oh and my "locals"
Lesbian mums and Californian Cafe owners with "issues"
People with heart (s)
People who rant,
Gentle gardeners , gentle photographers and gentle writers,
The Gentle
Arty boozers from four continents ,
Diary keepers, The social commentators..... the middle aged guy with a story!
The sad and the happy,The Gay and the straight,
The great and the good....

http://steve-bailey.blogspot.co.uk

Thank You, again!!!