Everyone has a film in them..............

For around a year now I have been writing a film screenplay in my head....

it's not a work of art.....oh no

it's not academy award winning either...

(well perhaps for cinematography and best song it will be)

But as a daydream it has keep my mind busy for many hours when I have been completing the mundane jobs that arise in everyday life.

I won't divulge too much of the plot...

But think .....Zulu. and Assault on Precinct 13 crossed with Whiskey Galore, Aliens and a touch of the obscure movie The Guns of Fort Petticoat.................all set, of course in a Welsh Village.....

I have even designed the award winning movie trailer in my head too....all set to the music in the above video....and when I am out with the dogs I will often reenact the quick crossing cutting ( with all the relevant facial movements) and of course the overly deep voice over..........

"It was a small sleepy welsh village......."

etc etc etc

When completed it's going to be a cracker of a movie........

Filming can be in Trelawnyd itself I thought

Angel Wing

Not a happy Gosling

Little CJ has a condition with the rather pretty name of "angel wing"
When the  flight feathers grow in some goslings, they do so at right angles to the birds' body, giving it a weird , slightly comical look, a bit like Charlie Chaplain doing his famous walk. The condition does not affect the health of the bird, it just makes it look rather "odd"., but it needs to be treated immediately when it appears.
So, this morning, with trusty mom/helper Pat at hand, we taped CJ's wings into their right position, ( not an easy job I can tell you) and set him up in the garden  crate with Badger to calm him down.
Hopefully if we leave the tape in situ for a week, the wings will grow properly into the right position
 Left: untreated "angel wing"

Just a Thought

Mother's Advice

Sometimes a girl just needs a mother's advice, even when you are all grown up with bosoms all of your own 

Now I am not meaning the deep psychological, "let's sit down and talk about it" help here...far from it (my mother was incapable of that anyway)

No, I am talking about those little things when a little piece a motherly bit of advice, is just enough to get you though a minor need of the day.

My mother has been dead perhaps nine years now,and was more or less incapacitated for four years before that, so I have long since gotten out of the habit of ringing her up to ask the odd question of "how to do this? , and "in what way do you that"........but now that I have gone "all country", I find myself more and more in need of some homespun,and  dare I say womanly advice!

Mind you, I have been lucky, for I have one of those practical role models living just around the corner.....neighbour Pat (champion pig wrestler, tapestry worker,gardener and senior Womens' Institute guru) has been a mine of information and help to me over the years.....this morning is a case in point....

after I had quizzed her yesterday on the finer points of gooseberry jam making (yes readers Jam making IS interesting) she turned up with two hand written recipes for me to try....and following her guidance I banged out a few jars of impressive gooseberry jam ( in addition to the raspberry jam I cooked last night)

Even through the fag smoke my own mother may have been impressed!

Village snapshot 10.30 am

The pigs haven't killed anything this morning, the old hens have seemed to have realised the danger they are now in if they dare to venture across the pig netting and are keeping their distance from sharp little piggy teeth
This morning is morphing into the pace of yesterday........
this is what happens in a village

As I cut all of the barbed wire from the top of the pig's enclosure, the red faced Welsh farmer speeds past waving cheerfully from his land rover window as he does so

Auntie Gladys is sat at her dining room table polishing her brass....she has had visits from six neighbours and friends already this morning

The fresh bread down at the new village shop is selling as fast as the home made pies did yesterday, and Peter has just ambled past the cottage with his trusty black Labrador in tow, he always lets me know if he spies any foxes down the felin.

Pippa's leggy mongrel chases rabbits noisily around the deserted old Churchyard as the guinea fowl scream at her from the safety of the wooden fencing

and at the bus stop Meirion and Mrs Jones (pen-y-cefn) are waiting patiently....they wave shyly

This is Trelawnyd

Tooth and Claw

The pigs have shown their true colours this morning by killing and eating an unfortunate wellsummer hen.

The little 21 has proved herself to be an aggressive and tenacious little killer, and agile enough to corner and run down a healthy young hen......
Note to self, don't fall asleep in the pig enclosure
cue a whole host of pig attack related stories...............

Talking about sex and hamper making

In my previous life I talked a great deal about sex.
No !!!!, now before you jump to conclusions, I can be a little bit of a prude in my day-to-day existence but when I worked in Sheffield, I did play a large part in the psych/social/ sexual aspect of spinal injury  nursing at the Northern General
I facilitated a short course which enabled staff to explore the mechanics and psychological ramifications of neurological damage on sexual function and was one of the nurse practitioners that helped assess sexual function within  the patient population of the rehab unit.
I also helped the out patient sister in completing patient fertility studies, and was responsible ( albeit in a minor role) for many of the partners of certain ex patients becoming pregnant
Now before the sniggers start, I must say that I do smile at the irony of me being in some way responsible for a woman's pregnancy, but I did play, sometimes a vital role in the process of such and just helping an individual feel comfortable exploring such a delicate and intimate subject, did, I'll admit give me a bit of a buzz on a professional level, that is.

I got to thinking about this subject after I received an email this morning. It was a from a ex patient ( a former squaddie) who I saw extensively at out patients over a period of around a year.( seven years ago now!)
He emailed to inform me of the birth of his third child ( all conceived after his paraplegia and recalled in his note those toe curling (for him) initial sessions at the fertility clinic when I "helped" him retrieve semen samples prior to the old turkey baster job!
He reminded me of my reply to his initial comment of "well, how many of these have you done at out patients?"
Apparently I said with a chuckle ( and I don't remember this) "I've seen more cocks here than an average prostitute down the Wicker arches!"
Funny what he remembered eh?
Say that now, and you'd be struck off!!!
But at the time the humour was intrumental in making him just a little more relaxed ( expecially as I probably was walking towards him with an anal probe in my hands)
ok enough already..........

Anyhow it's another overly hot day today
It's too hot for Constance who has been slumped by the shed for the most of the morning

She ain't moving for anyone

The garden hamper looks sufficiency asexual

and it's too hot for me to we working in the full field sun. So I have started to pull together the donated food and raffle prizes into hamper and baskets for the Open Day

I am in no way artistic but the food hamper looks fairly impressive

eat your heart out Blue Peter

F*cking Crows

stuffed and mounted.........

 Readers may recall that in the winter great clouds of soddin starlings caused me no end of headaches,as they stuffed their fat little faces with kilos of layers pellets put out for the hens.
Recently some 40 crows have suddenly realised the bonanza that is poultry food, and systematically they have stolen more food out of the very beaks of the field population than one of the pigs could have done on a good day..

I have tried screaming at them, I have thrown stones at them...I have even contemplateted the loan of an air rifle.......a twelve bore shotgun  or failing this an industrial strength flame thrower!
I just cannot afford to buy food for the local wildlife who have stomachs the size of the average watermelon
My brother-in-law (an ex gamekeeper) was thinking on his feet last night, and offered me the loan of his prized stuffed hawk, (albeit after many red wines) and this afternoon we set up the rather impressive bird just above the poultry feeder.
So far we haven't seen a crow..........and strangely enough all of the birds on the field lined up to "face off" the intruder!

The whole field population lines up against a stuffed hawk (which is sat in the right foreground)

I am suffering just a little today! ( too much quality gin last night)......I am just too old to be venturing out socially after 10pm at night!
I am looking forward to a relaxing evening catching up with all of  the  blogs I have wanted to catch up on this last busy week