This is me


Well thank you for your best wishes yesterday ( with the exception of one arse-wipe of a troll)
The last mediation went ok, even though I still feel I had more to say...
Just the funeral of my dad in law to go to on Monday and that will be the end of an era.
I will not have further contact with my husband.
It's an odd thing to write.

The village is layered in mist and rain today, and it feels like damp March rather than Sweltering July.
I've walked Mary ( Winnie prefers a quick wazz behind Bluebell first thing)  and both dogs and Albert have been fed.
Trendy Carol hurried past , her head down against the wet. I think she had her leather effect anorak on!
I'm going to bed as I'm on a run of nights with only four more to go.
The support workers and a couple of the more lucid patients will miss me
And I will miss them

Afew " This is me" entries today
Send remaining ones in to jgsheffield@hotmail.com

I'm tired















Last Mediation

" You Look better!" our mediator said gently as she opened the door to her office building so I could leave.
She had been kind and balanced if not just a little preachy during our sessions all together and after today there was no reason for us to ever meet again
She had seen me at my lowest ebb
And now she was saying goodbye when I am better and brighter.
I am glad I am better and brighter.

We have now completed mediation and have done so in joint agreement and without any nastiness.
I want to stress this as it is time to move on without any negative comments below from blog readers If I have negiotiated the last year without ever bad mouthing my husband , I expect everyone else now to do the same.
I hope he is happy.
I hope he will be happy in the future.

There are , of course, some administrative stuff to sort out, but it very much looks as though I will take over the mortgage and will remain in the cottage and the village that has become so important to me over the past few years
Chris has been instrumental in allowing this to happen.
I'm not blind to this fact, and I am grateful even though the mediation ended with a little  sadness

The sun was warm when Mary and I stopped off at " our" Promenade cafe in Colwyn Bay on the way home
She had a sausage and I had a bacon buttie and we watched the holiday makers for a while.
She smiled , at me which is a signal that she wanted to move on
And I smiled back
" Come on Kid it' s just me  and you now" I told her as she jumped into the air
And we walked down the Promenade , back to Bluebell............... together.




Start Date!



I ventured into the old fashioned confines of the Trust's Occupational Health department early this morning for a hepatitis blood test. I had had very little sleep (due to a Sams shift) no breakfast and almost no caffeine , so it's not a surprise that I sort of fainted as soon as she shifted around my forearm with a needle that felt as though it was at least four feet long.
I've never fainted before . Not in my illustrious 57 years I have not, but there I was slumped on the floor with my third favourite Walking Dead T shifted up around my armpits. 
Man boobs on show
Luckily I came around rather quickly and covered myself as I blushed red as a fire engine.
The nurse said she's seen worse
I didn't believe her.
I rang the hospice with the good news that I had finished all of the trials, hoops a new nurse has to jump through before they can start work in the modern world and the sister ask me  good naturedly 
When I wanted to start. My choice! 
She even gave me a day off for choir!
I have a start date! 
It's my last marital mediation tomorrow morning too
Moving forward.
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This is me .....still time left to get your entries in to jgsheffield@hotmail.com

My " this is me" today for sue Hall





































Lucas ( And more this is me)


In film, when two strangers meet, they often introduce themselves formally.
In reality, this almost never happens.
For the conservation often just gets going in a rate and a pace all of its own that names are sometimes left behind.
I went to an informal concert in the Kitchen of The Storyhouse in Chester the other night and fell into conversation with a guy one seat away.
He was Polish and worked for an Engineering company and had lived here just eight weeks.
He had rosacea on his cheeks which he felt embarrassed by and said
he felt that many people didn't take to Polish people in the UK.
I found all this about him within the first couple of minutes of conversation.
He liked history and had travelled and worked in New Zealand and Australia before coming to the UK.
He wasn't homesick but he was lonely and we chatted over coffee cups in the interval
He looked sad and we shook hands when it was time to go
He introduced himself as "Łukasz"

And I when I got into the car I regretted not suggesting that we had coffee again

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