This is a muse whilst at counselling work , not a personal reflection
Never ask a liar why they lied!
Because to explain the first lie they usually have to create another one and before long the story becomes so complicated that everything can no longer be remembered .
This is how deception works.
It does not stay small,
It grows,
It changes details ,
It re works conversations
And eventually the liar may even start believing the version they created.
Because accepting the truth would mean accepting responsibility .
So stop waiting for honesty from someone who has ready shown you that protecting their image means more than protecting your trust.
Closure does not always come from their confession, sometimes closure comes from recognising the patterns!
accepting what their behaviour has revealed
And walking away
Someone let you down I’m so sorry
ReplyDeleteLizzy d. B
No not a problem of mine , just musing regarding my counselling
DeleteHow very - and how sadly - true. Take our "Liar, Felon, and other horrible monikers In Chief" for instance. PLEASE, take him!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs for you!
No bugger will have him
DeleteMy first husband admitted to me after we divorced that he had lied to me about things that didn't even matter.
ReplyDeleteWhich leads me to what a woman I used to know said which was, "Do you know what liars do? They LIE! Liars lie."
Sounds like something shirleymcclaine would yell in a movie
DeleteThis sounds like you are speaking from recent experience. I do hope not. xx
ReplyDeleteNot recent memory , more a counselling muse
Delete"Oh, what a tangled web we weave / When first we practice to deceive."
ReplyDelete“ liar liar, your knickers are on fire! “
DeleteThe truth is so much easier to remember.
ReplyDeleteAmen🙏🙏🙏❤️
DeleteLying liars will always lie. To others. To themselves.
ReplyDeleteLiars are not worth our time, love or attention.
Not even our pity.
XOXO
Nice put old bean
DeleteAmerican politics spring to mind.. . .
ReplyDeleteAin’t THAT the truth
DeleteWisdom.
ReplyDeleteSometimes hard to believe that someone is lying when you have given them your trust
Understood….the red flags wave albeit gently
DeleteSometimes a liar will readily accept responsibility for lying and then do it again, right away. Because "accepting responsibility" is just another lie. (I had a coworker like this.) A congenitally dishonest person is simply unable to stop.
ReplyDeleteHabits stick
DeleteSG and I were just talking about this having had a recent acquaintance who has a problem with the truth. We once had a friend who was a pathological liar. He was charming, intelligent, talented, and clearly damaged. He was on my technical support team at work and was the only one who could resolve any issue for our team of artists and editors. The friendship became impossible (the stories grew and grew and began to not match up). I gently questioned things a couple of times and the behavior just got worse. It was heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteA need for validation
DeleteAll devastatingly true! I know from personal experience.
ReplyDeleteI also just read your post from yesterday. Sometimes we just have to doggie paddle to get through the hard times but you will be swimming again full force. I have no doubt. XO
I just needed a moan
DeleteOK, I have accepted that Big Liar and all the attendant liars are unfixable. Now if we could just all walk away.....
ReplyDeleteCeci
Put the liar down
DeleteWalk away from the liar
Lee🍸
Walking away is best ceci x
DeleteLee….i suspect you don’t do liars well
DeleteYou just summed up the Democratic party perfectly, and yes, i too wish we could just walk away
DeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteXxx
DeleteInteresting. I need to think about this and apply it to the times that I have lied.
ReplyDeleteMy dad used to say “ he’d rather know a thief than a liar..you know what’s happening with a thief whereas with a liar ??
ReplyDeleteThat’s from Tweetart
I think it was Judge Judy who used to say that it was easier to tell the truth because it was easier to remember. If you lie you tend to forget the last version. She was right.
ReplyDeleteYep, reading this I guess I just realised that is the situation I am dealing with, the person said dreadful things, then made up lies about me as to why I was the problem, and have then just added more lies and more dreadful things on top to presumably I now just realise to hide the first lot of dreadful things and lies and to retaliate and attack because of their own issues. I didn't think of it before in terms of lies, but that is what it all is, they aren't even being truthful about their own issues. Thank you John for this little explanation and moment of clarity!. (don't want to say my name just in case they somehow find this!)
ReplyDeleteThat's a perfect description of trump. I hope we can walk away from him and I can't wait for that day.
ReplyDelete