I enrolled in a day’s seminar/study on PTSD today.
It was in Liverpool and most of the group were counsellors, and health care professionals with varying degrees of experience.
For most of the day we were split up into working groups , each with a facilitator.
My group’s facilitator I shall call Josh and he was exhaustingly and successfully gay.
Not only did we find out that he was in a wonderfully supportive relationship with his long term boyfriend, Juan- Luca, Josh also managed to shoehorn personal and self validating facts about the pair of them at every given chance.
I quickly started to hate Josh
I hated his smugness, and his neediness and his showing off about how lovely his two pugs were with their daddies.
I hated his 34 inch waist , and his neatly ironed designer shirt,
I hated just how white his teeth were and how his hair didn’t move an inch as he flounced around.
I hated that he reminded me I was single and sometimes lonely
And I hated the fact that I disagreed with one valid clinical observation he made just because he got on my nerves.
As part of a wind down debrief, we all shared what we were going to do with the rest of the day, and Josh preened that he was going to cook his hubby a delicious steak with asparagus on their new patio barbecue as said hubby opened a chilled bottle of something expensive
When it came around to my debrief , I just about stopped with the comment “ I hope it chokes you both” and smiled a tired smile before sharing a slightly ironic “ I think I will lie down in a darkened room with a cool face flannel over my eyes”
I’m only human, I thought darkly
Ps weaver has disappeared again š⬛
It might be a professional kindness to provide private feedback to both Josh and the organizers of the workshop. Sounds like his personal over-sharing didn't build rapport as he was perhaps envisioning, but rather distracted from the learning experience for at least one participant. If he takes that operating style into counseling work it will be extremely counter productive.
ReplyDeleteHe'll still be gorgeous however.
Ceci
I got the impression he wasn’t a counsellor but a nurse specialist
Deletehe sounds tedious
ReplyDeleteFucking painful
DeleteI thought facilitators were supposed to facilitate as opposed to letting their own persona dominate.
ReplyDeleteThere were 9 facilitators , some of the others we had in rotation were marvellous
DeleteI agree with the above commenters! Josh needs to learn that he's a teacher and the class participants are there to improve their caring skills. How childish of him! Bragging belongs elsewhere,, but am not sure just where that "elsewhere" would be!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
He was in fact a helper, there were 9 groups to facilitate ( too many ) I did reflect this in my feedback
DeleteMy sister in law is like that.š
ReplyDeletePoor you
DeleteI agree with the others above -- can you give constructive feedback about his facilitating? Maybe he just needs to be reminded to dial it back a notch or two!
ReplyDeleteWe all gave written feedback and I did say that I didn’t suit some of the group sessions
DeleteAgree with the above, but also, I got the feeling that "the lady doth protest too much". I do wonder who he was trying to convince that everything in his particular garden was lovely, himself or everyone else. Like those influencers, whose lives are just too, too perfect. I bet his pugs leave dog snot on the windows, just like any other dog. And I bet he and his partner end up with food stains down their oh, so pristine shirts! I'll take your darkened room, cold flannel and foot licks over his evening, any day! xx
ReplyDeleteI think his Trump card was his lovely teeth and they were lovely lol
DeleteH H: Pugs do not in my experience leave snot on the windows, their noses are dry and they don't drool either. But they rub their black wrinkles on the white sofas corners, how well I know.
DeleteI wonder how many of your group silently agreed with you.
ReplyDeleteI wonder, I did scan for an ally
DeleteYour answer shows that you are a well adjusted adult. At times it would be easier to not be an adult, and not to be so well adjusted. Behind the perfect, lurks the real life, maybe trying to hard to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteMany in our group laughed and enjoyed his oversharing, that made me feel worse . I needed an ally , and did catch one woman’s eye but she was being very professional and didn’t pander to my neediness
DeleteIn my personal view, Josh was seriously out of line, for crikes sake it was a professional seminar and he acted like a complete dick. Dear John you are worth far more than he as you are a ‘real’ counsellor, truly grounded and we love you for that. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteHe did go on, but I’ve playfully guilded the lily
DeleteHe was out of line though , yes he was
You may seriously consider David of Schitt's Creek- comebacks are brilliant , so brilliant the person getting dissed is not even aware at how dissed they have been. I have learned SO MUCH from the wisdom of Schitt's Creek.
ReplyDelete"Ewwww, David"
Ewww, Josh, give me the ICK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Qdq0kx-78
DeleteI never followed it until after it finished and moiria always had the best lines …I wish I was so quick witted
DeleteI like the fact you realised that you argued wrongly with him, shows good self awareness
ReplyDeleteI hated myself as soon as the comment left my gob
DeleteJosh was a narcissist.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was one of his first sessions to facilitate …he was certainly not one of the organisers
DeleteWhat a shame. A narcissistic counselling facilitator. A study session on PTSD should have nothing to do with me-me-me. A good counsellor should know it’s not about him. I don’t know if I would have had your self-control. It would be nice if you could give anonymous feedback. I’ll just say, Josh sucks.
ReplyDeleteHe was popular though , and to be fair when he wasn’t banging on about himself , he had some interesting insights to share. The other session lecturers were more , shall we say, humble
DeleteI adore your response! So good. Don't you just loathe toxic positivism and enthusiasm. Also was he not emotionally tone deaf, bragging up his beautiful life to others who, just life odds alone, cannot have shared such happiness in their own lives. On the other hand, two pugs! make up for all--did you take their pictures? I Rx G&T and a quiet rest for you, kudos for your effort in attending.
ReplyDelete(I kinda wish I was Josh tho).
Yes, I was envious and knew it
DeleteAnyone would be, not your fault or character flaw. He must be secretly very insecure?
DeleteI would have told the big headed fucker
DeleteLee
I bet you would have š
DeleteJosh seems unprofessional. He took the stage to talk about and promote himself. This tells us a lot about Josh.
ReplyDeleteYour feedback was priceless.
There’s always one that you don’t like
DeleteGosh, Josh! Can you spell braggadocious? Lovely to see young folks so successful and happy, but that's a bit much. He did everything but sing, "If you ENVY what I tell you, Clap Your Hands!" I DO hope Heart trumps that BIG HEAD he carries around; his chosen calling calls for a lot of empathy and sympathy, and all that vaunting falls short on those.
ReplyDeleteDropping in from Miss Merry's Happy Place---I envy YOU those pups and kitties, and was so pleasantly surprised to see that your portrait up there has an uncanny resemblance to my late husband, who was one of the best guys God ever created. And he wore a Santa hat for the whole month of December every year, just to make children smile. I'm smiling right now.
lol, I did make it known I was an old gay bear in my ( 5 things to know about me introduction)
DeleteHe kept quiet then lol
You should maybe plan 5 or six neutral things to share? [lived in Sheffield, was a psych nurse, love cats, have a twin, love films, love to travel, own a 600 year old cottage...etc] You are more than just a single gay man tho I know you are proud of that. It's like my assistant used to hush me when I'd moan about my love life at work, "They don't need to know this!" she'd hiss across the worktable. LOL.
DeleteNo I felt that he “ owned” the gay thing……it was not his to own
DeleteThat’s why I disclosed
DeleteI missed that aspect, I thought you said he started gay sharing after you introduced yourself as such. (I tend to overshare, so working on neutral responses had been a longtime continuing goal for me.]
DeleteOh John, this post shows your natural and terribly English sense of humor. It was like ready the gay version of Bridget Jones.
ReplyDeleteYou are my Bridget Jones
Love you
Keith
Xx
Ready= typo = reading
DeleteShit! Just noticed the PS
ReplyDeleteš⬛
DeleteI'm not proud of this but my mean little heart loves what you said to the man.
ReplyDeleteOh, Weaver.
Xx big hugs
DeleteI never completely believe people like Josh. So one day in his life might just meet his exacting standards. He still has to clear up dog mess and pay bills just like the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI hated my response , but I acknowledge it
Delete