Last month my former mother in law died. It was peaceful by all accounts and I was informed by my nephew in messenger and a few days later my ex husband by email. I’m still not quite sure how I feel about it. It’s been over eight years since we spoke last, and that , in the great scheme of things is a long time, especially when you have processed a grief once already.
I was back to work last night, and so had a nap on the trendy blue sofa with Mary and Bun before I went .It wasn’t a restful sleep, the anxieties of returning to work with a catheter in situ , put paid to that, but I did dream about My ex mother in law, and saying goodbye to her on the station.
She would always cry when we said goodbye, invariably my husband would already be at work when she left for Kent, so it was my job to get her safely on the London bound train, but I remember her bottom lip would always tremble as she tried to be brave, and I would chivvy her along with a bit of banter and a hug.
I wasn’t really dreaming was I?
I was remembering
As a mother it can be very difficult in a divorce to deal with the sometimes conflicting emotions of loyalty and affection. You’ve said goodbye quite nicely.
ReplyDeleteweavinfool
It all seems like a long long time ago
DeleteWow. For the first time I’m proud of Chris for communicating this to you
ReplyDeleteYes, it was thoughtful
DeleteYour MIL wasn't part of the divorce and your love for each other continued. She knew that for sure, so you can rest easy.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a day without bothers as you return to work. You've got this!
Hugs!
No it didn’t continue , it ended l that’s why it was so conflicted
DeleteParting is such sweet sorrow. I'm sure she continued to feel the same.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn’t matter now
DeleteIt is strange when you are reminded of people who you have already grieved for and let go of emotionally. Bitter sweet.
ReplyDeleteMarisAna, I think you have captured the mood in the room here
DeleteOur minds are strange. We can go years without thinking of someone, then suddenly we see/feel their presence. It can be unsettling and comforting at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI hope the return to work was without incident. Have a long restful sleep today. You're still in recovery! xx
I slept heavily from 9 to 3
DeleteGood that your nephew and ex had the respect to let you know.
ReplyDeleteRemembering dreams can be vivid. Hold onto the good ones. x
He’s a nice kid
DeleteI remember you cleaning the dog snot off the car window in honour of her visits. Our emotions can confuse us at times. x
ReplyDeleteOperation dog snot removal
DeleteI remember that you were quite hurt when she did not seem to want to keep in touch with you after your separation. You used to use her name but I can't remember what it was now.
ReplyDeleteI was terribly hurt. But it was a long time ago. Her name was sorrel
DeleteSuch a shame how it ended 8 years ago. The dream was a touching good-bye.
ReplyDeleteI was processing the trigger
DeleteI hope all goes well when you go back to work. x
ReplyDeleteI was incredibly tired and a little sore but luckily it wasn’t too busy
DeleteI am in awe that you are going back to work, in spite of all of the health challenges. I found that work, focussing on other people’s needs, distracted me from a lot of pain. What an example you are to the younger generation, who seem to be rather a feeble lot.
ReplyDeleteThe girls I was on with were sweet , they didn’t stare at my leg bag outline lol
DeleteI remember you had a good relationship with your ex's mother even though she was from "Down South". It was good of Leo to be the first to let you know about her death.
ReplyDeleteNot as good as I thought but yes
DeleteWishing you well as you return to work. I’m sorry about your former mother in law. It is extremely painful coping with a relationship that was close and then becomes fractured -not by your own choice. Nice that your nephew immediately thought of you and contacted you. Jean in Winnipeg.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteGrief is complicated, moreso by relationships and changes.
ReplyDeleteIt’s all a maelstrom of sorts lol
DeleteIt’s a strange situation when ex parents in law die , I think we just do the best we can . Will you go to her funeral ? Hope your return to work went well xx
ReplyDeleteNo Shelly, I made a mistake going to his dad’s funeral , I won’t be repeating that. I have supported my nephew and have listened to his eulogy
DeleteHope your time at work went smoothly, John.
ReplyDeleteTiring but fine x😄👍🌈👀
DeleteMy first husband's mother died soon after he and I split up. I had loved and admired her very much and that made it all more complex. I understand. Many emotions.
ReplyDeleteComplete is the word dearheart
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