Felt Sorry For

 


When you are single and sixty something it seems inevitable  that some people will feel sorry for you. 
I think it more often than not happens to women on their own in hotel restaurants but I’ve had my fair share of “ Are you alright? Are you looking after yourself properly?” Moments over the years!
My elder sister Ann has me over for supper once a week now, and I’m grateful for this gesture of good food and company. 
Having a meal made for you, when you are used to cook your own meals is a treat, I can tell you. Why do you think I love going out for brunch and lunch with friends, the treat is palpable ! 
I work with a lovely support worker called Diane, she is single and my age, and every time we work together she will surprise me with “spare chicken salad” in the staff fridge or a comment “ I’ve brought some good coffee in” 
She spoils me and I’m grateful for it.
She doesn’t feel sorry for me….well perhaps she does just a little, but I don’t want to think about that

A villager texted me yesterday saying that they were looking out for me at the funeral. 
Another kindness certainly .

When I’m out alone, I still take with me my armour
My phone, an iPad, a book or all three,
They protect me from being felt sorry for 
I hate the thought of it 


30 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne7:54 pm

    I see your book, phone, and iPad as proof you're comfortable in your own company but folks who know you are welcome to interrupt your solitude. All very healthy and positive.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and maybe take Diane something tasty every so often!

      More hugs!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous7:54 pm

    John, this so beautiful. Many people seem to look out for you.thats a gift.
    Sending love, hugs and sunshine. Carol in Atlanta

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  3. Anonymous8:15 pm

    Relax and stop overthinking things!
    When I'm out on my own for coffee or lunch I always have a book with me - not as "armour" but purely because I love reading so much!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are such a gregarious man. I do not think that being on your own is your most comfortable arrangement. You seem to need the oxygen and stimulation that the presence of others will usually bring. Now if you were like Clint Eastwood in "Pale Rider" it might be different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t look good in a poncho

      Delete
    2. Does anyone? Apart from Mr. Eastwood of course! xx

      Delete
  5. Those little shared moments show you are loved and cared for, and that you love and care in return. That's what matters, not that you sit in a cafe alone. But if your "armour" helps you feel more comfortable, great! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get that…this post celebrates the fact

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  6. I think your friend at work just likes cooking and taking care of other people. I love providing others with baking because I can't eat it all but I still enjoy making it.
    I'm torn between enjoying being alone, and feeling lonely sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That’s why I accept her care, because she genuiningly likes me

      Delete
  7. I've never met any nurse who doesn't prefer to be in company, to have life around them. Understandably. Me, I think I put up an invisible shield, and it suits me fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it works and it’s healthy , use it

      Delete
  8. In the last six months, I've suddenly started being addressed as "Dear" in the shops. It was strange the first time offered me her seat on the train. Turns out I reminded her of her abuela!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’ll punch the person who calls me dear

      Delete
  9. Having traveled alone - a lot when I was working - the one thing I hated was eating dinner alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Understood but it’s getting easier

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  10. Heading out for lunch alone with my book and phone.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous9:31 pm

    Docks last Saturday early evening , I sat at the bar on my own , of course I looked toxic after 4 martinis , but I was reading your blog on my laptop so fuck the judges

    Lee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You old star….fanny Brice

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9:39 pm

      Her mother was a Hungarian Jew as my mother was

      Lee

      Delete
  12. Nice to have friends (and family) who care about you. I had an old friend who “felt sorry” for anyone who didn’t have what she had. I hated that phrase. every time she used it, which was often. She hasn’t been a friend for a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stubblejumpers Cafe10:46 pm

    I wouldnt feel sorry for you, but then I read your blog and see how you're living the good life. -Kate

    ReplyDelete

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