Bloody awful injection in my eye yesterday and repeat appointment this afternoon.
I’m eye phobic and only coping because a support worker at the eye hospital was so sweet….
“ I can’t “ I told her
“ well go to mine” …she said
“where’s that?” I asked clutching at straws
“Greggs * “ she said with a smile ….
I loved her
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greggs
I had a text from a dear friend this morning. It was the dreaded I have Cancer message. I didn’t ring back immediately, these type on conversations need preparation and calm. So I took the Welsh to McDonalds and bought them a cheesy flatbread and myself a large coffee and a porridge.
I walked the dogs on the beach and we returned to Bluebell where I rang my friend.
I listened and heard and I told my friend that I loved them as the Welsh curled up into balls to sleep and the sea breeze slipped through the open windows.
Oh, John. I have been there, and on both sides of that conversation. And as you will know only too well, even saying "I don't know what to say" is better than saying nothing. Because if nothing else it is still contact and empathy, and it does allow the other person to set the mood and tone of the conversation.
ReplyDeleteAll a matter of processing. And a reminder that the odds of survival get stronger every day - and I am proof of that! All you can do is be there. And you are. You are such a special friend. All love to your friend; and there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it may not yet seem like it.
I’m glad I rang them today, very glad x
DeleteFirstly, I don't envy you those eye injections. I feel anxious just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI hope your friend's cancer is treatable. Still a hard road to travel, but with friends like you to travel with them, it should be slightly easier. Life's a real bitch sometimes, isn't it? xx
It’s been a particularly up and down year has it not?
DeleteSometimes, no news really is good news, but then you fall out of contact, and that's not good.
ReplyDeleteI’ve arranged a visit in November
Deletei think i, too, am eye-phobic...... not sure i'd cope very well with that kind of thing either. Sorry to hear about your friend.... i am sure they'll benefit greatly from your support though.
ReplyDeleteI ask for a big nurse to hold my head , the last one looked as though she could wrestle a pig, and I told her to be strong
DeleteOuch!
ReplyDeleteI did feel it
DeleteI hope Greggs has scotch eggs. I agree with Liz, talking is really important.
ReplyDeleteI thought she gave me a great line very Victoria wood
DeleteYou really thought through that call, preparing and ready to listen. What a friend to have.
ReplyDeleteI need to be there for them, they have supported me so well over the years
DeleteThey should give you something to calm you before they stick a needle in your eye. Sounds awful and I'm sorry you have to go through this, John.
ReplyDeleteAlso, sorry to hear about your friend's cancer and hope they have full recovery.
I usually take my own Valium , this time I didn’t …fool
DeleteIt must be so hard to get a shot in your eye! Don’t think I could do that. Very sad news about your friend with cancer. Hope it’s treatable, and they recover. Cali
ReplyDeleteThank you cali
DeleteWide awake and an Injection to the eye has to be the hardest thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you can be there for your friend to help navigate one of the diagnoses we all fear.
1:2 of us will get cancer
DeleteIt's hard to receive news of such a diagnosis, and also hard to be the one sharing that news, knowing the despair it can cause your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteKnowing you are loved, is important.
DeleteI got the same message this past weekend from a good friend of mine. Fuck, I hate cancer.
ReplyDeleteI think Greggs would be my happy place, doughnuts!
Her line made me laugh which helped , as she knew it would , I made a point of saying to the nurse in charge how much I appreciated that support workers comments and care
DeleteOh dear.
ReplyDeleteI've told you before: you have a fortitude I lack. Those injections would push me over the edge. And that support worker? An angel.
Sorry about your friend! Ugh. Cancer.
XOXO
I’m only getting through with Valium. Lol
DeleteEye appts a day apart - say it isn't so! That is 100% no fair and no fun either. Your eye looks like it would hurt. Envision all of us holding hands with each other and with you. For today, we can be your happy place, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry that your dear friend has cancer but it's better to know and get speedy treatment than to have it lurking and causing harm. May this cancer be removable and/or very treatable.
Hugs!
There is always someone else worse off
DeleteYou are a brave man John! Take care of your eyes. Sorry to hear about your friend with cancer.
ReplyDeleteBun
We all have to grin andbare it sometimes don’t we?
DeleteOuch your poor eye looks sore ... and yes at the moment Greggs is our 'happy place' too. After every visit to Mum we stop at the services on the way home for a coffee and a sausage roll ... and just recently we've NEEDED a glazed doughnut too.
ReplyDeleteTaking time to absorb that sort of news before ringing is definitely the best thing to do. I used to react immediately in my younger days, now I wait and hopefully it makes me more useful as an 'ear' when I phone.
I reached for the phone even though I’d not quite finished reading and I stopped myself ….i remembered teaching a young staff nurse about breaking bad news to a patient and telling her to take time preparing her words
DeleteI suppose it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick ... oh, wait ...
ReplyDeleteFunny lol xx
DeleteDamn.
ReplyDeleteI said my version of your comment “ fuck!”
DeleteIt gives you such a sinking feeling to hear that news from a friend. But good to consider your reply. Even if you are just saying...I'm here, thinking of you, if you need it want anything just say....
ReplyDeleteSo many don't know what to say...say nothing..and drift away or just "ghost" not just the person who has developed a cancer...but their partner, relatives, even mutual friends.
It is insidious. And hurts as much as clumsy or trite words. Perhaps even more
My training as a nurse helps , but emotion always gets in the way
DeleteOh John , your personal life gallops back and forth so much this year and you are still laughing
DeleteI love you squire
Lee
We will share that dirty martini at Docks one day x
DeleteIf I win the lottery this weekend, I am sending you 1st class tickets to fly over and meet Lee. In the meantime a virtual hug will have to do xx
DeleteAs awful as any cancer diagnosis is , your friend is blessed to have you .
ReplyDeleteI have a visitor with me from the US - on arrival she told me that she was desperate to have a sausage roll from a place she called ( spelt as he pronounced it ) G. R. Eggs .
Siobhan x
Funny x
DeleteLord, that eye thing! The worst!
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm sorry to hear about your friend and the dreaded cancer, but I will add that he is lucky to have you for a support.
That eye thing. I am not sure how you even prepare yourself for something that awful.
ReplyDeleteBut then there is the phone call. I am not sure how you prepare yourself for that either. But I am glad you were there for your friend.
I'd have a hard time not squinting, good place or not.
ReplyDeleteThose eye injections are so awful! Even though they must be doing good.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a bad year for my family too as regards cancer news and we are all still reeling and trying to adjust. I'm so sorry your good friend is going through this worry and wish the very best for them in the journey. You were wise to wait and then ring them.
The support worker was a gem. -loved her response. I had the 'cancer call' from my sister a few weeks' back. It's her second go-around. I listened and told her I'd be a support in any way I can. Fuck cancer.
ReplyDelete