Wallet In The Freezer

 I’ve never liked Good Friday, both as a child and as an adult.
As a child it was too many chocolate eggs and shit television.
As an adult it is a lacklustre bank holiday weekend, often worked.
Today it’s cold and wet
And the cottage looks like the wreck of the Hesperus.
The reason for the disarray is that my wallet and car keys went missing.
Two hours of searching isolated nothing more than the dirty pair of undies under the bed and a mummified  baby mouse behind the armchair.
I eventually found the wallet and keys frozen solid in a carrier bag with some pork chops in the freezer and spent an uncomfortable half hour in Sainsburys thawing out my debit and nectar card under my armpit before paying for cat litter
The day has been a bust so far, so I bought myself a bunch of flowers to make myself feel better and shouted at the neighbour when I got home for bellowing at one of his yappy dogs 
Talk about transference..I’m making a beef stew

Happy Easter 

92 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:27 pm

    My mom had four children who were under the age of six. One morning she awoke and found she had put the milk bottle on the stairs and the polished baby shoes in the refrigerator. Exhaustion takes its toll. Rest will help you. Llynn

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    1. I once found an. Expensive pair of reading glasses under abroody hen

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  2. Oh, I'm sorry but I laughed....

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  3. They get dogs of a yappy nature...the dogs may be bored...so they yap. They don't think of things from the dogs point of view, or think of the character of a certain breed or the particular dog. Shouldn't be keeping dogs

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    1. The man of the house bellows at the dogs they live in a loud household, no wonder why they yap loudly

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  4. Thawing your plastic cards under your armpit made me laugh. If I need to bring refrigerated insulin up to room temperature quickly before an injection, I nestle the cartridge in my bra for a couple of minutes. The Girls work quickly!

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    1. Yes my favourite tiktok cook places her tea towel through her bra straps

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  5. Oh, shitty days happen! Things can only get better - can't they? xx

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    Replies
    1. I’m in front of the fire with a cuppa right now

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  6. Jackie2:30 pm

    Mama said there'll be days like this
    There'll be days like this, mama said

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  7. Anonymous2:31 pm

    We’ve all done it. My partner and I once lost the car keys - cue at least an hour of searching and a lot of heated words exchanged. Eventually we found them, still in the lock on the back door … I hope the weekend picks up for you, John.

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  8. Anonymous2:40 pm

    We have the wrong things end up in the chest freezer in the garage more frequently than one might expect due to rushing to stash things there before they get too warm. So it's one of the places we check. I've never had to thaw cards in my arm pit however. Poor yappy dogs.

    Ceci

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    Replies
    1. It was the very LAST PLACE I LOOKED

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    2. Of course it was in the last place you looked - you quit looking after they were found!! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge...

      Hugs!

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  9. Barbara Anne2:50 pm

    Thanks for the morning chuckle about your wallet and keys. We take everything out of each grocery bag and put them in their proper places right away.
    Flowers are lovely, but remember there are also yummy sugar-free chocolate and other sugar-free flavored candies to be had, egg shape, bunny shaped and many other shapes. Thinking Cadbury ....

    Hugs!

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  10. But at least you recognize it as transference! :)

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  11. Nelliegrace3:06 pm

    Well done, you found them.
    Our car keys were in the tent pocket when we broke camp and got everything packed away just before the rain started.

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    1. I will buy something large to. Add to the key ring

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    2. Anonymous8:51 pm

      A pink plastic flamingo!
      Lizzy d

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  12. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does this sort of thing. It is kind of funny though, only in retrospect obviously:)
    I remember coming home from work one day to find one of the dogs had shit in the house and roomba had driven through it. I was mad as hell as I cleaned up and but I did think, one day this will be a funny story, just not now.
    It could have been worse. There's an old joke about a waitress who can't find her pencil and then finds a tampon tucked behind her ear.

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    1. I wear hearing aids. Yesterday I sent an Instagram post to my daughter that had a guy at his doctor's complaining about suddenly losing his hearing in his right ear. The doctor examines his ear and pulls out a suppository. Then there's a beeping sound and the doctor points to the guy's rear end and says "Your hearing aid battery is low."

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    2. Those cracked me up !

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  13. Oh, dear, but it is funny, when you've had time to reflect on it . . . and warm up again.

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    1. The house looked as though it had been robbed

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  14. Easter eggs on Good Friday? We had to attend, for several hours, the Stations of the Cross service. Chocs were for Sunday!

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    1. Anonymous5:36 pm

      That was my thought as well. We had to suffer on GF. Linda from PA

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    2. I think you both. Are right

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  15. Hey, at lease you found them!! If it's any consolation, we've all put things in weird places, I know I have.

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    1. I’m. Always losing my wallet, I’ve washed it several times in the washing machine

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  16. So really Good Friday is Bad Friday to you! I bet Jesus never left his wallet and car keys in the freezer! If he had done he could have blamed that prick Judas!

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    Replies
    1. Puts a new spin on the banking message, "Your account has been frozen".

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  17. Anonymous5:12 pm

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  18. Well done for finding your wallet and keys, I have done just the same ! The joy of finding the missing stuff is always slightly tempered by wondering what the heck was happening in your brain when you put it there . You are definitely not alone :-))

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    1. Thank the lord, I thought my greycellswerefading

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  19. Sorry, I am laughing. A bit confusing, but conveys your frantic feelings oh so well. How did the frozen items get from your home back to Sainsbury, and what is a nectar card? Why was the card still frozen. Why aren't you resting!

    Last, why were you eating choc eggs on GF, the Easter Bunny is supposed to bring them on Sunday. Naughty!

    love

    lizzy

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    1. PS Haven't you done this previously? The frozen wallet...? And you had already bought a replacement?

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    2. I’ve lost my wallet several times once it was found in the washing machine ( after a wash) once it was found under a draught excluder

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    3. I had pork chops in a carrier bag, also in my bag was keys and wallet. I overlooked them and bps the bag in the freezer for. 16 hours. Everything was frozen. Solid when I found them

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  20. Many years ago, my mother forgot her car at a store down the street. My father woke up in the morning and thought the car had been stolen. On his way to report it to the police, he noticed the car with the keys inside parked near the store where it had been waiting for them all night. Everyone has a story of distraction if they've lived long enough.

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    1. That reminded me of an ex colleague who as a tired young mother, walked home leaving her baby in its pram outside a shop in her village. Luckily it was a small, friendly place where they knew her and rang her mother!

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    2. I reported. My car stolen at Meadowhall in Sheffield and the police. Found it where I had parked it n another car park

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    3. Anonymous12:18 pm

      Kath, when I was a newborn, my dad was home alone with me. He went to the hardware store and as he paid, he realized he had forgotten me as I slept in my crib. Safe though. Llynn

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  21. Anonymous5:39 pm

    Lucky you, chocolate on Good Friday! We had to suffer in silence. Linda from PA

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    1. On reflection I think we had to wait too until Sunday

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  22. I'm sorry, I had to laugh. Been there, done that, although the details differ :D I'm glad you finally found your stuff!

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    1. I was pulling my hair out, and was just going to cancel my cards

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  23. Anonymous6:28 pm

    My partner once put ice cream in the closet. Thankfully, I found it before it really started to melt. Love the trick of thawing in your armpit. Hopefully I won't ever have to use it. Sheila

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    1. The wallet was solid, lol I need not of worried , I washed one wallet in shot wash and the cards worked afterwards

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  24. That was such great share and I loved reading all the comments. I, too, attended long church services on Good Friday - and certainly no chocolate! But Easter Sunday we got the jar that held all the candy that we had saved over lent!
    Happy Easter to you, John. XO

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    1. Katie, my memory must be wrong, I suspect the eggs were given to us on Sunday

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  25. Ah well. At least now, after all of your education, you know WHY you do certain things.
    I always wondered why they called the day that Jesus was supposedly crucified "Good Friday." Not so good for old Jesus up there on the cross, right?

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    1. My mother always cooked fish on Good Friday with a god awful parsley sauce

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    2. Traveller7:19 pm

      Oh lord, I loathe parsley sauce!

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    3. Anonymous8:12 pm

      It is called Good Friday due to the archaic meaning of the word “good” meaning pious or holy. I was also taught that good in this context was a derivative of god but I don’t see that as an explanation at the moment.
      Lizzy D

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  26. I stomped on a lump in my tent because it wouldn't fold completely then realized it was my prescription glasses in the tent pocket that I stomped on.

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  27. I bought a bunch of chocolate Easter candy today for the candy dish. It's not Easter without Cadbury Eggs!

    Sorry you had a shit day.

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    Replies
    1. I’d kill for a scotch egg jennifer x

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    2. I bought Alan a scotch egg for Easter but it was short dated ... so he's already eaten it. :-)

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  28. I'm surprised you didn't pay for the cat litter with cold cash!

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  29. Anonymous8:23 pm

    As a New York Jew , Passover was the holiday we celebrated with Bagels from 56 th street and 2nd

    Lee
    X

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    1. Anonymous8:54 pm

      Bagels for Passover?
      Lizzy d

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    2. Anonymous9:05 pm

      Gefilte fish was my father’s favourite but gift bagels in between family members was a favourite Passover gift my friend

      Lee

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    3. Matzo ball soup , Lee, mmmm.

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  30. Anonymous9:00 pm

    Today is the first day of advanced voting for Prime Minister in Canada. So off I went to the church where voting is happening. I walked in and almost walked into the church service. The choir was singing and I didn’t see many people and then I realized that I was in the wrong line.. it took me an hour to vote as they were busier than expected. I hate holidays so I was happy to have something to do on a cold dark rainy day. My husband once lost his car at the yacht club where he had driven across the parking lot from the boat to the clubhouse for a drink. He staggered back to the boat. When I got home and asked him about where was his car, he didn’t know. We had a good laugh when I noticed it parked in front of the clubhouse. Gigi

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  31. OK, but did the cold underarm compress help your arm? Maybe you were supposed to do this?

    Will Jay

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  32. I lost my TV remote. By accident it got folded into a sofa blanket and put in the washing machine. While the remote was washing, I was looking high and low, even moving furniture. When I unloaded the wash, I found the remote and with a battery change, it still worked.

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  33. That damn freezer. I remind my neighbor to check the freezer if I go missing. Never know, I could fall in when I'm head down, ass up, looking for something!

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  34. Anonymous3:32 am

    John, I haven't been on blogger in a while, but I think about Weaver/Pat. Has she passed? I know she said she was ready.

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  35. You win 'The Best Headline of the Year' competition (so far).

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  36. A pretty stressful morning! The flowers were a good idea to pick yourself up though.

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  37. Oh dear. Things like this happen to me way too frequently. Usually right after I utter the magic incantation: 'this needs to be put in a safe place.'

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  38. Happy Easter, John. (We didn't get our Easter eggs until Sunday.)

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  39. I’ve spent a lot of time searching for my keys and wallet over the years but never have I ever found them in the freezer. I’ll keep that in mind.

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  40. Anonymous12:20 pm

    Yappy dogs. I've owned 'em too - shouting plus shouting just breeds more shouting but I know only too well that it's a hard habit to break......yelling at them to shut up.......
    It's no excuse though. Happy Easter x
    Alison in Wales x

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  41. Thank goodness you found them! What made you think to look there or were you just getting the pork chops out for a meal?
    Put a pretty plate/bowl in a special place and always pop your wallet and keys in there as soon as you come in. Make it a habit, John. xo

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  42. I've just spent a week looking for a Lindt mini chocolate bunny, so I feel your pain!!

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  43. Sounds like sometihing i would hae been franitic about.

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  44. Jo in Auckland2:29 am

    As a young mum I walked with my baby in the pram to the local dairy (sweetshop) to get some milk and I suspect some cigarettes but I can't remember. I came out of the shop and a friend stopped her car and asked if I wanted a lift home. When inside my house I said I think I'm missing something; the penny dropped. My baby was outside the shop, we zoomed back down and the shop keeper had seen me get in the car and brought baby inside the shop for safety. I was mortified! and very very grateful to the shop owner. I made a point of buying more stuff from him over the years.

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  45. What a funny story, though I know not so funny for you. I am glad you found your keys though!

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