Dusk yesterday.
I knew the Lady by the field gate.
Not well, but we know each other’s name and houses and are friends on Facebook
She had been crying and was trying hard to hide it
I hadn’t noticed because Roger was pulling at his lead and only realised after she had brought it to my attention and was hurrying a little embarrassed.
She said something about a family member before moving on and I presumed her tears were tears of grief
Sometimes I think I see too much grief
Too much at work, certainly.
In my counselling I see loss in its many forms.
Loss of roles, loss of employment, of home, of loved ones and of relationships.
Losses of youth, of hope, of abilities to cope in life.
In my personal counselling with my old Irish sage,
I have explored my own grief reactions
And have realised all too well that it never really goes away
You just live with it more peaceably
Grief, is love which has no where to go
Yes, if we live for any length of time grief is a certainty
ReplyDeleteIn one form or another
DeleteThat last sentence is just sublime.
ReplyDeleteIt has a resonance with most people I think
DeleteJamie Anderson said this , it is lovely
DeleteThere is no life that is not marked by grief.
ReplyDeleteSo terribly much grief in this world of woe. Unimaginable levels, really.
ReplyDeleteToo much
DeleteYour last sentence is so true for those who are left behind and who will miss the very dearly departed forever. But, oh, the love and wonderful memories that went before!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Celebrating the good , is often the hardest thing to do and the hardest to accept as anger is often the easiest emotion to access
DeleteNicely written, a sad welcome to Saturday morning
ReplyDeleteLee
😊🩷
DeleteI agree with your last sentence, and it is how I feel.
ReplyDeleteIt still must feel somewhat raw for you andrew
DeleteWe love and care therefore there is a good chance that we do or will feel grief and loss, but , hopefully, gratitude too .
ReplyDeleteWe all love someone , not everyone is loved
DeleteIf I'd never loved, I never would have cried. I sing that in my head whenever grief overtakes me. xx
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put
Delete"I am a rock" - Simon and Garfunkel. xx
DeleteI think you are right in that grief never goes away but we learn to live with it.
ReplyDeleteLife would become unbearable otherwise.
Nicely observed too
DeleteLearning to live with it is all we can do. Hoping it doesn't slap us in the face too often.
ReplyDeleteAnother poignant sentence
DeleteA very wise comment, John, grief is indeed love which has nowhere to go. And when you have experienced or observed a lot of grief - or both - it makes you hypersensitive to recognising it in other people. But it also trains you to not be afraid of it, to recognise it as all part of the process of being human. And to learn to live with it and process it, because we never get past it, despite what the ones who have not yet suffer it might think.
ReplyDeleteI hope your neighbour is OK and learns to push through it.
Thank you Liz, kind words
DeleteYou expressed grief beautifully.
ReplyDelete👍🩷😊
DeleteOye, I used to believe that I would rather feel anything, even shame, than feel grief. However, counseling helped me to understand that unprocessed grief will, like the whack-a-mole game, pop up over and over until it is felt and honored. It's funny because grief can look like so many other things, because we are programmed to suck it up! Get through it! Move on! At least here in the U.S. that's the message we are taught from so many, not just our families of origin. I love how you can sense it in others, John, and have a ready, informed and willing heart to feel it and help others feel it to move through it.
ReplyDeleteHonouring grief is to allow you to feel the pain and accept it for what it is
DeleteYour understanding of the human condition, will make you an amazing counselor.
ReplyDeleteI hope it makes me a balanced one
DeleteBeautifully put John. I'm currently grieving a death, and the slow eroding of a life, it's like having a lump in your throat and no way of swallowing it. The words 'choked with grief' are suddenly more powerful than ever.
ReplyDeleteYes, the physicality of the emotion
Deleteso true
ReplyDeleteA perfect description of grief.
ReplyDeleteIt’s fickle and ever changing too
DeleteI've read that last sentence before. My healthy, fit and wonderful husband was killed in an accident three years ago, and it seems like only yesterday. All the platitudes about learning to live with it or it gets easier, well it doesn't. Now totally alone with all those happy memories, tears fall as I know we will never share them again, or make new ones. My happiness has gone, and time will change nothing.
ReplyDeleteJ.
I’m so sorry….theres nothing I can say except I hear you
DeleteBless you for that last sentence! It's what I needed to hear this morning as the first anniversary of a loved one's death approaches.
ReplyDeleteThere is a pressure and research which state acceptance ids a final stage of grief. It’s been proven again not to be the real case
DeleteAnd as you point out, there are SO many types of grief. I believe that many of us hold grief that we don't even realize IS grief. And yet, it is.
ReplyDeleteYou have hit the nail on the head x
DeleteYour last line is so true. Cali
ReplyDeleteYes it has a resonance for many
DeleteThat's such an interesting observation, about love and grief. Being a counselor, you're of course bound to encounter more of those sorts of feelings than many of us.
ReplyDeleteLoss is a common theme throughout my career, in spinal injuries of course loss was both physical and social
DeleteLove this observation. Thank you.
ReplyDelete🩷😊
DeleteBeautifully said. Have a lovely weekend, and enjoy your visit with Nu come Monday!
ReplyDeleteI will , I’m looking forward to it very much
DeleteWhat a beautiful comment. 'Grief is love with no place to go.'
ReplyDeleteYes,really.CatherinefromFrance.
DeleteGrief and loss seems part of the human condition. We all experience it at some point.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, we all learn to live with it and still enjoy life.
Grief is the price you pay for love. Gigi
ReplyDeleteSome very wise comments here, especially yours, John. Thank you for sharing - it helps. Jxx
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteI have felt grief so deeply that it was indeed a lump unable to swallow and a painful hole in my chest both at the same time. It certainly was love with no where to go. The loss was immense but thankfully the pain has receded to a dull ache which never leaves but occasionally becomes a piercing stab of remembrance.
ReplyDeleteI hope your 2 weeks break brings you peace and joy.
I understand
Delete"Grief, is love which has no where to go"
ReplyDeleteThis could be the chorus to a song...:)