This was a blog from sixteen years ago
“ The cold crisp weather has lifted my spirits and galvanised my Christmasjuices. I received some pressies from Nia in Australia and from Nu this morning and the first "plop" of Christmas cards on the mat has meant that I can now start to hang the cards on their strings in the living room.
The fairy lights have been set up (much to the surprise of George) and Nigewould be proud of my now re decorated pile of gifts (in the Laura Ashley style) sat carefully next to the fire.The scene is set!
I am very lucky, as I have only experienced one awful Christmas in my 47 years on the planet.
That was many years ago and I was working just before and just after Christmas day in Sheffield. I had just split up from a former and rather abusive boyfriend and had to face Christmas day on my own with a Marks & Spencer dinner for one and a great deal of self pity!
The day was more tragic than anything Anton Chekov could pen!
The other Christmas days have been lovely, and I recall that I have paid tribute to my mother on his blog before, for all the great times we experienced as children.
my mother pushed the boat out from December the 20th onwards. Tirelessly, she slaved over home made cakes and sweets, organised gifts, cards (with an almost computer precise special Christmas card "book") and of course over cooked the dinner for the entire family within an inch of its life. (The table was set out in the dining room the DAY before Christmas Eve)
She loved the season and it showed in the care and preparation she gave things, and that legacy has been handed down to me and I am sure to both of my sisters who prepare their houses like photo shoots from Home & Antiques!
Christmas time for some families can be a traumatic and unhappy time. My experiences have only been positive and warm.....”
That was many years ago and I was working just before and just after Christmas day in Sheffield. I had just split up from a former and rather abusive boyfriend and had to face Christmas day on my own with a Marks & Spencer dinner for one and a great deal of self pity!
The day was more tragic than anything Anton Chekov could pen!
The other Christmas days have been lovely, and I recall that I have paid tribute to my mother on his blog before, for all the great times we experienced as children.
my mother pushed the boat out from December the 20th onwards. Tirelessly, she slaved over home made cakes and sweets, organised gifts, cards (with an almost computer precise special Christmas card "book") and of course over cooked the dinner for the entire family within an inch of its life. (The table was set out in the dining room the DAY before Christmas Eve)
She loved the season and it showed in the care and preparation she gave things, and that legacy has been handed down to me and I am sure to both of my sisters who prepare their houses like photo shoots from Home & Antiques!
Christmas time for some families can be a traumatic and unhappy time. My experiences have only been positive and warm.....”
And I stand by that notion I think, even though 2018 Chrustmas was a bust
I have been lucky when Christmases have been concerned
Have you???
This Christmas has shaped up far differently than I had hoped, but I really gave your words a great deal of consideration. In the end, since your take on it was what I planned to do anyway, I simply went ahead and did it. I am having a quiet holiday with my husband. We have an invite for Christmas supper. It is enough, I think.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a little space is all that is needed for people to gain perspective x
DeleteMum always made our childhood Christmases special. I hope I've done the same for our children. Last year we missed our family Christmas in Cornwall as we both got Covid. It was the bleakest Christmas I've ever had. I'm hoping to make up for it this year.
ReplyDeleteCovid and lockdown decimated many Christmases
DeleteYes, I can't recall a bad Christmas. I do appreciate how lucky I've been, and realise not everyone looks forward to it, or has happy memories. A quiet one for us this year, which suits us. Our adult children are having their own Christmases, which is fine by us. xx
ReplyDeleteHave a peaceful one xx
DeleteI had lovely childhood Christmases, we didn’t have a lot of money but it was always special. Then, as we grew up, we had big family get-togethers, all squeezing into my brother’s large house. I’m lucky to have such good memories, but I find the contrast with a much quieter Christmas now makes me feel very sad. I wish it wasn’t such a big deal these days, I dislike the insistence by advertisers, tv etc that everyone should be having a wonderful time. Because for many people, it isn’t, and I know there will be some already wishing it was all over. Sorry to inject a note of gloom, I’m glad you have so many happy memories.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get the less I watch the tv and listen to the radio at Christmas, it’s all too much
DeleteI had lovely childhood Christmases, we didn’t have a lot of money but it was always special. Then, as we grew up, we had big family get-togethers, all squeezing into my brother’s large house. I’m lucky to have such good memories, but I find the contrast with a much quieter Christmas now makes me feel very sad. I wish it wasn’t such a big deal these days, I dislike the insistence by advertisers, tv etc that everyone should be having a wonderful time. Because for many people, it isn’t, and I know there will be some already wishing it was all over. Sorry to inject a note of gloom, I’m glad you have so many happy memories.
ReplyDeleteSo lovely to read other people's memories of happy family Christmases. And how they understand how lucky they were.
ReplyDeleteYes I always love posts like these , chatty informative
DeleteWhen I was 12 I convinced myself that Christmas wasn't going to happen in our house. My father had died a few months before (my mother, 7yrs earlier) so it was just me, my brother and sister. Our household survived on what they earned - and they were still teenagers themselves. We had inherited our house, but even so, there was nothing spare, so my expectations were nil.
ReplyDeleteThere were modest presents, there was fun, and crucially, laughter. Something that had been missing from our home for a very long time. I have been grateful to my brother and sister, and have enjoyed Christmas, ever since.
Siblings, in my experience have been a lifeline
DeleteYours is the best and sweetest reply yet! You had what Christmas was meant to be.! I’m happy for the 3 of you.💙
DeleteCarol in Atlanta
Almost all of my Christmases have good memories until the year my father died 10 days before. I was just turned 40 and was married and had two daughters. Fortunately I had everything organized before I left to sit with my dying father 3 hours away. My mother had died 5 months before and my brother shut himself in his childhood room never to be seen until time to organize the funeral. That was a lonely time with my husband and daughters still at our home in the mountains.
ReplyDeleteI did get home a couple of days before Christmas in time to wrap presents, get food, and start the annual jigsaw puzzle.
I’ve never asked my girls how they remember that holiday.
They are both now older than I was that year. I pulled myself together to make it festive, or if not festive, at least as normal as possible.
Our bungalow in Wales will be full of family on the 25th this year. It will be our second holiday in our new country.
weavinfool
Have a lovely peaceful family time my friend x
DeleteChristmas when I was I child,and most of them since then,have meant
ReplyDeletegoing to midnight mass .
When I was ten my. sister said she wasn't feeling
well and stayed home .
When we came back from
church we saw that she hadstaken all of her things and left. pl
That was so bad that every Christmas since then has felt better in
Deletecomparison .-Mary
That’s almost biblical in its shock Mary
DeleteHow old was your sister?
Did you ever see her again?
Yes, eventually the family reunited,I just learned not to trust her to be there for me Mary
DeleteYeah, nah. The Christmas Day before my father died a couple of days later I would guess wasn't great, but I can't remember it. I remember the Christmas Day the day before my step father died as being very cold (by Australian standards) and his forthcoming death was hanging over us. I have a vague memory of a childhood Christmas Day, when my father, his brother and their step mother all had too much to drink, and my mother came out swinging at their behaviour, calling my father's step mother a drunken slut. I am not sure than Nanna Tess was a slut, but she was certainly a drunk. Hey John. I have the makings of a blog post here.
ReplyDeleteIndeed you have, I’ve never witnessed a scene you describe at Christmas , I do remember my elder sister getting drunk when I was around 11 and my father being shocked when she announced that she was pissed
DeleteFirst Christmas after my mother died nearly 30 years ago. We were at my brother and sister-in-law' s for the day. Rather gloomy atmosphere. Then their dog played with a squeaky toy she'd been given. It happed to be a pair of dentures (yes, I know), but she got them into her mouth perfectly positioned with pink gums and big white teeth and she looked so funny we all started to laugh. So not for the first time a dog saved the day.
ReplyDeleteThe dog saves the day, not for the first time !!! Thank you x
DeleteMy mom loved Christmas so much, that she had one of her spare bedrooms decorated in Christmas things all year round. She always made it special for her 5 daughters, and always included whatever men/boyfriends/husbands at the time. Seems like so many women in families are the ones who do the work to make Christmases special. I used to love it, when I was little and then when my son was little. I no longer do though, as it feels rather obligatory and sad.
ReplyDeleteYes my mother and sisters try hard at Christmas , I do too when I’m off
DeleteI've had a couple of bad Christmas days. The one where my soon to be ex-husband came round to pick up my 15 year old son mid morning, bringing our grandson with him, so my little house went from being full of childish laughter and people to suddenly being me on my own for the next 48 hours. And the first one after my Dad died, when we all went to Mum's so she wouldn't be on her own. Somehow in her grief she managed to seriously insult us all in various ways and we all came away traumatised. We understood it was her grief talking but it was hard to take and get over.
ReplyDeleteGrief will access anger and mobilise it so much easier than any other emotion
DeleteI had mixed Christmases in my childhood but overall I remember mostly the good in them. My worst-ever Christmas was when my now ex and I had not revealed that we were about to split so had to go through the holidays pretending to be merry and hanging out with each other's families. I do not recommend this plan!!! So now, even during Covid when I was totally on my own for some Christmas days, I know that I have lived through the worst one.
ReplyDeleteNina
Nina been there worn the T shirt
DeleteThere was the year we tried to make everyone happy, and made no one happy, a snide remark from my mother, Lill commenting that she only merited New Years not Christmas, the following year we went to Paris for Christmas and had a wonderful time.
ReplyDeleteI’ve never been away for Christmas but it sounds potentially wonderful
DeleteHi John, Jackie here - no longer commenting much (as I have already told you) but I do read your blog every morning and come back at the end of the day to read the comments. Thank you for that opportunity and for sharing your life with us. As for Christmas, it has changed for us over the years from our very different childhoods to young parents to retired "senior citizens" and I realize that, depending on age and situation, I would have answered your question "have you?" in a variety of ways. Bottom line is that there is much for us to be grateful for here in our household and I try to focus on that. I wish you and yours a Christmas and New Year that is your special idea of perfect. xx
ReplyDeleteHello Jackie and thank you for remaining loyal it’s appreciated , I hope you have a lovely time
DeleteChildhood Christmas was good, especially where grandma was concerned!
ReplyDeleteAnd visiting family, though mother didn't like doing that.
I tried to bring my four up visiting family as much as possible, not just Christmas.
It doesn't happen now, as we're all spread out.
This Christmas is...minimal...but I'm sending cards and letters... staying in contact
I remember my granny sitting through all of The Towering Inferno one Boxing Day and announcing she was off to bed because she hated war films
DeleteI recall all my Christmas celebrations with joy....almost 100%. The one time I was disappointed was when my mother purchased a silver fake tree and insisted it was beautiful. Our tradition was to always go to Maine and find two perfect live trees and bring them home to Massachusetts. Thankfully the silver tree lasted only one Christmas.
ReplyDeleteYour Christmas is sounding pretty perfect. Enjoy!
Well let’s hope so, merry Christmas deArheart
DeleteOh, yes! I love Christmas and the decorations, the ornaments from family and friends on the tree - including wonderful sort of wispy ornaments from my maternal grandparent's home.
ReplyDeleteThis year is a mixture of joy because our older son and his wife are in the process of moving here and deep upset as horrors, threats, and potential loss of income looms ahead because Trump.
Wishing you and all here and around the globe a joyous holiday season.
Hugs!
Try and forget Trump for a week or two xx
DeleteEvery Christmas was awful because my alcoholic father would get drunk, start a fight, cause chaos and stomp off. Sad to say but they have been better since he died in 1986. Thank God my son has not been subjected to that behavior.
ReplyDeleteAbove was from Linda in Pennsylvania
DeleteYes, my mother was an alcoholic but reined in her behaviour over Christmas xx
DeleteAt least she demonstrated her love for you in doing that.
DeleteTo answer the question in your last sentence: NO.
ReplyDeleteSending you my biggest gay hugx
DeleteI'm lucky - my Christmas celebrations have been happy all of my life.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad ellen
DeleteMerry Christmas John!
ReplyDelete🌲❄️☃️🌨️🎅🏼
DeleteOrthodox Jews in 1960s New York
ReplyDeleteEvery holiday season a drama
A father who gambled and drank
A lot of tears cashed in .
No only a few dramas and all of my own doing
Every Christmas ( and I suspect like you) I await a fairy Princess ( in your case fairy uncle with a hole in his jumper) to save my Christmas
Alas real life is not like the movies
Lee x
A poem, a lament, Lee.
DeleteDid you always order in Chinese on Christmas Day?
Lee,
DeleteYou can picture it like a woody Allen movie thank u x
Yes i have.... in so far as i don't remember any bad ones... that must be a good sign yes? My parents went above and beyond at Christmas and i carried on the tradition. Now they were not beyond taking out a loan for christmas . I never did cross that threshold for my kids . I've been married to a Scrooge for 35 years .... but he was aloud to sit in his grumpiness and i was aloud to let my Christmas flag fly...lol Merriest of Christmases to you John.. Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteMy parents were the same , and we took it for granted
DeleteMy mother, like yours, worked hard for weeks to have treats, homemade decorations and delicious meals. She must have put money aside all year long and strategized for all of the comings and goings, concerts, pageants, and regular school events. We all got a new home-sewn dress each year, as well as flannel pajamas or robes that she had made. One story my older sister and I still remember is coming home from church late at night, so we were both teenagers. About 1:15 AM we hear the vacuum running downstairs. We shout, "Mom, we will vacuum for you tomorrow morning before company comes!" And my mother yelled back, "DO NOT COME DOWN HERE!" So my sister and I laid awake another hour trying to guess what my mother needed to vacuum at that hour. Christmas morning, we discover 2 blown-up vinyl beanbag-type chairs by the tree, just perfect for teens. There was a way to put the vacuum hose on the exhaust and use it to inflate the chairs. 50 years later, we still get the giggles over that memory.
ReplyDeleteSorry! Signed, Bonnie in Minneapolis
DeleteA sweet memory Bonnie
DeleteThank you for sharing it
Childhood Christmases were always wonderful for me but then I seem to have had years upon years of crap things happening around the not so festive season. It is only within the last few years that I once again can feel the warmth of a simple family Christmas and it does feel good. So to some degree I envy you old lad, but then again all of our past makes us who we are at this point so I cannot truly complain.
ReplyDeleteI miss waking up with someone you WANT to buy nice gifts for x
DeleteWhen my parents were alive and my kids were small, every Christmas was magic, as I recall. Ok, one year I cried bec I was scared of the Tree, another year, my mom got mad at my dad's cooky snitching---and threw the whole platter at him. One year Daddy wanted a snowy tree, so he flocked the live tree w the vacuum cleaner, and everyone had allergic reactions to the glitter dust. Parents--oh how young they must have been!--always had post Christmas flu, aka massive hangovers, w puking and wailing.
ReplyDeleteBest was getting off the plane at OHare and walking out into snowy Chicago, always snow, and a bank had a retro Santa and Reindeer silly lights flashing on its rooftop. Oh I was so happy to be home.
I think snow is such a rarity here, in some ways I would love the continuity you have with it x
DeleteSnow is delightful in areas that have a lot of snow and can cope with it. I don't recall any Christmases in Illinois without snow, deep bright snow
DeleteIt is so nice to read these responses about Christmas or other traditional holidays. I grew up on the plains of Saskatchewan, so now, living in Virginia, I'm always looking for snow to make it feel more like Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI am one of the lucky ones to have, on the whole, good memories of my childhood. Some difficult times came later, but as Lee said, most were of my own doing. Today I count my many blessings. Nothing in my life is perfect, but , boy, it sure is better than some of those hard times.
Merry Christmas to you, John, and I look forward to sharing life with you and the others, here, in the new year.
Nicely put Katie
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you xx
40 years ago we were heading to my moms house for a merry Christmas gathering of aunts, uncles, gifts and feasting. Our son and daughter were in the back of our 1967 Volkswagen van. As the traffic light changed we rounded the corner onto a 4 lane highway. Our 6 year old son said his sister had fallen out. We said that was NOT funny. He said Look! We did and standing there behind us on the shoulder of the highway was our dear 2 year old in her little pink snowsuit. My husband stopped immediately and I ran to gather her up. When I cooed to her how lucky we were that she was unhurt, she held up a tiny finger which had a scratch.
ReplyDeleteWhen we arrived at mom’s all festivities paused to give us time to explain, regroup and count our blessings. I am forever grateful that she was safe.
She had reached for a hat as we rounded that corner and then she slid into the doors. They popped opened and then gently closed as the road straightened out. She says her first true memory is watching us drive away and trying to figure out how she would get home when she wasn’t allowed to cross a street. This was in the time before car seats for babies were common. We promptly had seat belts installed in the back of the van.
I bet she’s told that story every year since
DeleteAnd she hate VW vans to this day!
DeleteI remember one Christmas when I was about 9 or 10 . My Mothers family had gathered at my Grandparents house. It was a tradition to draw names and exchange presents. I received mine and saw it was from my Grandpa. As I opened and saw the box. I realised it was a wristwatch. My heart was pounding for I had really wanted one ! I held it and examined it in awe. When I finally glanced up...there was Grandpa watching . It was a moment we both treasured.
ReplyDeleteLinda from Alabama
Sweetxx
DeleteI read this blog, but never comment - until today. What wonderful stories there are here about Christmases past!! Thank you so much for this post!
ReplyDeleteIt’s getting us all in the mood
DeleteI have been very lucky with Christmas over the years. When I was a child I simply remember the pure magic and excitement of lying in bed with the glow of a nightlight and trying to sleep so that Father Christmas would come! So grateful to my parents for creating that wonderful feeling.
ReplyDeleteThere was one awful Christmas where I had a broken relationship and worked right throughout in hospitality, where I found myself watching everyone being happy while I struggled. It was grim. But luckily an unusual one for me.
Over thirty years ago I was in labour on Christmas Day, our daughter born at dawn on Boxing Day. Pure joy last year as her new son, aged six weeks, and my new son-on-law (they had a fabulously fun low-key wedding in September before the baby was born) came to us on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. This year they are with family in Lincoln but we’ve been booked for next Christmas!
ReplyDeletePS: John, thank you so much for introducing me to Pat, Weaver of Grass, I think of her every time I go on the newly named Weaver Line into Liverpool Street - like you, she brought such a lot of joy and common sense to the blogging world x
Xx
DeleteMy father was a wonderful family man, but not very outgoing with his emotions. As a child when he was eight, his father, a railroad postmaster, was trying to catch a train on Christmas Eve to get home in time to deliver the family's Christmas gifts he was carrying. He slipped and fell under the train and lost both legs. Apparently my grandfather was never the same after that, which affected my father greatly. Then, about 30 years later or so, my father's only sibling, a sister he dearly loved, died on Christmas Day from an unusual and unintended poisoning from some medication, which I believe is now banned in the US. Two great losses for him, both on Christmas.
ReplyDeleteMy mother loved Christmas, and loved children, so it was a significant holiday for her. Lots of decorations and family gatherings. My dear father, bless his heart, somehow put aside all his Christmas pain and was able to make Christmases for us children still a wonderful time. I only found out a lot of this after he passed away. I am eternally grateful for his selflessness in making his wife and children happy, despite what must have been great personal pain from his losses during this season.
Wishing you a very peaceful and calm Christmas. You deserve all the joy and love in the world. Thank you so much for your wonderful blog -- a gift to us all, each and every day.
Karin in Colorado
Thank u for sharing so.much x
Delete