I was 21 when I first administered the " last Offices" to a patient, I must have done it hundreds and hundreds of times since
The elderly man had lived seventy years of his life in an asylum .
He had no family, no friends and had a life devoid of the normal happiness's that the rest of us take for granted.
He had no belongings to speak of and even his clothes were picked from the generic clothes store and I remember feeling incredibly sad at the overwhelming " emptiness " of a life not lived.
The ward sister opened a window as the man died and crossed herself
A nicotine stained enrolled nurse in her sixties had the job of talking me through the procedure of "
laying out" , a job , I am glad to say, she took incredibly seriously.
She showed me how to shave the patient, wash him with a reverence he deserved and dress him carefully in a shroud . We combed his hair precisely then wrapped the body in a sheet, securing the last fold over his face with a safety pin and a gentle comment of " good night"
When we had finished, the enrolled nurse lit a cigarette and took a big drag of it.
Sensing I was still a bit shaken by the whole experience , she offered it to me which I refused, then shared with me her own personal philosophy on the situation.
" Every life is important" she said carefully ......."no matter how it is lived..remember that fact"
That was in November 1983 on Irby Ward at the West Cheshire Hospital
41 years ago
It was snowing
I have never forgotten it.
That was quite an experience to remember to have done that.
ReplyDeleteWhoa. This is a beautiful story.
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful story. There are those folks who feel qualified to judge the value of another person's life, to pass judgement on their worth...but this is a reminder that they shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the people that most need to absorb the wisdom of this simply won't. They will simply keep on being critical and spiteful, certain of their own superiority and ever 'rightness'.
So important. Every life matters.
ReplyDeleteThis is especially moving, John. Here in the states it does not feel like every life matters, and there will be no peace until we can all live that way. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked as an Auxiliary nurse, initially in a private nursing home, then in the NHS, I was always taught that every person deserved the dignity and care that we would expect for ourselves or our loved ones, before and after death. Each person is someone's son/daughter, or husband/wife, partner, friend, father/mother etc. To my mind, it is the last thing you can do for someone, so should be a respectful, caring act. xx
ReplyDeleteI have never heard that term before. Yes everyone deserves a respectful “good night” Gigi
ReplyDeleteYou've learned some powerful lessons over your career, thank you for sharing them. This was wonderful to read.
ReplyDelete