In an old post I bemoaned the much maligned phenomenon of the dinner party.
It still exists I guess, outside the old formalities, but now it’s called “ supper with friends” or some other dumbed down event epithet.
Yesterday my friend Ruth and I went to dinner with our friend Ben and his wife Sokyo in their charming cottage along the coast. Ben and Sokyo have just returned from a three year visit to Sokyo’s home in South Korea, and Ben is returning to his old job as nurse at my hospice.
It will lovely to have him back, for he has a warmth and a humour I adore and feed off. ( warmth and humour is something which has been sadly lacking in blogland recently I must say)
Ben also looks like an unmade bed, a look I have made a lifetime perfecting, so I always feel at home in his company.
Ruth and I had planned to visit them in their trendy 1960’s Seoul a year or so ago but circumstances and events put paid to our plans.
Yesterday was catch up. A full Korean dinner with sizzling beef, and kimchi and pickles and miso soup, noodles and rice , all served in tiny bowls at a pretty table.
The effort of the event was clear and much appreciated.
This is what I miss by talking about the dinner party.
I also miss talking and laughing in a group.
I’m a good guest, I know that, but I’m a good guest because I enjoy not only talking but listening.
Sokyo had a fascinating take on her own culture and how it has evolved so quickly over recent years but she is also an artist who has been trained in Japanese flower arranging ( something I would adore to do)
It was a lovely afternoon and I could tell by osmosis that everyone thought the same.
Wonderful.
Tonight I’m working, so today is a mindful day.
I’m mindful of my friends and readers in the southern states who are and have taken a battering in the storms
Be safe
Be kind
I am pleased you had such a nice afternoon. I worry about you, but then I don't. You do far more than I do.
ReplyDeletelol thank u for worrying just a little
DeleteThat looks like you had a lovely get-together, and yes Ben is perfecting the rumpled but happy look as well as you do it ... although I suspect with less food stains. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI only learned about inviting people for 'supper' when we lived in Oxfordshire and we had many evenings with friends there. At the first invite I imagined what I considered supper to be, a couple of biscuits and a nice cup of coffee at 10pm, but no this turned out to be a friendly meal eaten around the kitchen table with no airs and graces but lots of fun. Luckily I didn't turn up in my pyjamas!
You are perfectly right about the food stains
DeleteIt sounds like the perfect afternoon. Nothing beats a long relaxed meal with friends.
ReplyDeleteI rather pride myself for warmth and humour. I wonder if I can single handedly tip the balance in blogland
I have a potluck once a month w/friends. Is so lovely to get together, and it makes me clean my house when it's my time to host.
ReplyDeleteI suspect the "formal" dinner party has all but disappeared. I think most people prefer an informal get together, with food, family and friends, pleasant chat and lots of laughter.
ReplyDeleteI hope the damage caused by Hurricane Milton isn't too severe, and all are safe. Very frightening. xx
Supper or dinner parties can be ruined by one person who doesn't have any listening skills and likes the sound of their own voice..........it takes skill to help guests feel at home too, your evening sounds lovely.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
My neighbor is from South Korea. I call her Super Woman because what she creates on a daily basis is beyond astounding. As for Dinner/Supper parties my husband loves them and I am too much of an introvert to enjoy them. I love chatting face to face for coffee with a friend or two but even the thought of a gathering around a table for a full meal makes me panic! Thank you for the email. You are very kind. We continue to clean up downed trees but our house had no damage. Jackie
ReplyDeleteThat does indeed look lovely. And your description of Ben makes me wish I knew him.
ReplyDeleteThank you for caring and mentioning the storm in Florida. We in North Florida are fine but I fear for those south of us.
Looks like a wonderful time with sweet friends. Three years sounds like a long time, then I think of how fast the past three years have gone by. Take care of yourself,
ReplyDeleteI too think and worry about the people I know in Florida. I'm sure you are a wonderful guest and whoever hosts you wins.
ReplyDeleteMaybe add this in to your trips as a special event occasion and make some plans around this sort of social event.
ReplyDeleteSounds as if your soul needed feeding . Good for everyone. Too much time spent apart from another. love ya.
Looks like a wonderful feast and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
ReplyDeleteOsmosis? Perhaps you were pouring liquid over each other? Use Google John, you'll learn a lot.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should use Google to educate yourself on the meaning of the word slang.
DeleteReally Anon? Obviously not educated yourself.
DeleteDon’t interact !
DeleteThe original comment was too stupid to be real, it was a child’s raspberry
Ignore it
Lee
What a wonderful post, John, and am so delighted for you that Ben and Sokyo have returned. I remember how bereft you were when they left for Korea despite some Zoom "get togethers". Another post for your book!
ReplyDeleteThese two immense hurricanes so close together have caused unimaginable destruction and loss. Be safe and be kind, indeed.
Hugs!
Christ, that Anon that is correcting you is an absolute miserable, sanctimonious twat. In a world so much going on, this is all you can do?
ReplyDeleteI never comment, but read this blog daily. You really should do something much more positive with your time. Maybe go and volunteer for a good cause. Do something so you aren’t eaten up from the inside out with angry, critical emotions.
Or just don’t read it - it’s only a bloody blog.
Empty vessels make the most noise that’s what anon is, or what anon pretends to be
DeleteIt is of no consequence , like a docker who swears , no one eventually hears the words
I see what you mean about Ben, but he has a kind face as does Sokyo and those are the people I like. Dinner parties are indeed in my house a thing of the past and unfortunately family is thin on the ground; but I love to cook so we eat well and pretend. I am in despair about Florida, I know no-one there but it pains me to see such destruction and worry that the loss of life will be many, I hope the people who stayed are hunkered down enough for it to pass through and they are safe. Anon sounds so bitter and annoyed by everything, glad I have a happier disposition.
ReplyDeleteThe meal looks delicious, what a lovely treat. Your friend Ben looks quite presentable to me and has a kind warm vibe even in a snapshot.
ReplyDeleteHi John
ReplyDeleteI'm ok, haven't commented for a bit.
The Korean food looks excellent. In Seattle, on the otherwise frumpy Aurora Av North, there is a section of Korean restaurants, notable by their lack of English signage. I've eaten at several, the menus had no English, but photos of the dishes. They were outstanding, many small condiments, some kimchi, some similar. Everything from octopus to beef.
I read most of your posts, and some of the comments continue to confuse me with their seemingly non-sequitur comment.
Take care,
Mike
Nice to have you back
DeleteI have eaten at the same place you mention , photos of everything in the menu
Xx
There will have to be a return invite for a special Welsh dinner of boiled leeks, roasted leeks, fried leeks and a leek dessert with leek custard.
ReplyDeleteMaybe leek wine? If John made it all , I'd be there with bells on.
DeleteHaving friends like Ben and his wife are the best. I'm sure they appreciate your friendship too. The meal sounds delicious. Good friends are treasures. As you say, warmth and kindness are not always present. Sadly, blogland is no exception.
ReplyDeleteBen also looks like an unmade bed, a look I have made a lifetime perfecting, so I always feel at home in his company.
ReplyDeleteDear Darling John, I have been reading your blog for an untold number of years as a lurker, and this is the very BEST, most on point, I feel you dude, line that you have ever published. THE BEST!...t
Your dinner party sounds
ReplyDeletedelightful,I'm happy for you.A dozen members of my family live in Florida,
thankfully none of them or their homes suffered
hurricane damage,-Mary
How very fun! Is Ben Welsh? How did he and Sokyo meet? And yes, a dinner party to reciprocate would be fun. The cats could swing off the curtains to provide entertainment!
ReplyDeleteThat looks like a splendid gathering and a fantastic meal!
ReplyDeleteDinner parties have fallen out of favor? I blame all those murder mysteries.
ReplyDeleteLooks delicious! So glad you were able to catch up with your friends.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a lovely afternoon and the food looks delicious.
ReplyDeleteWe take turns to do do supper with friends on a regular basis. It's just a lovely informal meal with plenty of drink and great company.
ReplyDeleteFood and friends - the perfect remedy for shaking off the world’s woes, even if for a few hours. How wonderful to be back in your friends’ company.
ReplyDeleteThat picture looks lovely, and intimate! What a fun and fitting way to reconnect with your dear friends, John. I dearly love food and friends. I love to feed my people. Could be my southern heritage. I have family in Georgia (they are safe), and some in the mountains of NC (they are safe, just barely missed by the floods) and a dear niece in Florida who lost her home and all of her belongings. I have such a heavy heart for her, and all who have had their lives changed forever. Life in the U.S. feels so unsafe right now, for so many reasons.
ReplyDeleteMen who look like an unmade bed are always the very best men
ReplyDelete