Pants

 

The “inspired” choice of linen trousers proved to be my undoing
Just as I was entering the Museo National Centro de Arte Reina Sofia , I caught my right pant leg on the corner of a door.
Gawd knows just how 
But it ripped up the seam some seven inches or so as deftly as if someone had taken a knife to it 
And so there I was, in one of the most prestigious museums in the world with a pant leg flapping around like a sailors bellbottom.
I continued my tour of the museum looking like a twat

82 comments:

  1. You may have started a new fashion trend.

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  2. Oops. Well, some fashionistas do wear jeans with huge rips in them... and pay a fortune for them too.

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    1. Indeed - all John has done there is increased the resale value of his trousers (which he calls pants for a US audience, perhaps? I now wonder what he calls his actual pants - knickers perhaps? bollocks bags?)

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    2. The post made me laugh (sorry John...) but this exchange made me laugh even harder.

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    3. Yorkshire Liz3:54 pm

      Me too!

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    4. Feel free to call liz

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  3. Anonymous10:04 am

    Most people are only concerned with their own clothes, probably nobody noticed your flapping pants. Maybe nice jeans would be safer in future. Gigi

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    1. I need an elasticated waist

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    2. You probably mean an elasticated waistband? Your waist itself is probably already sufficiently elastically bouncy (sorry, more pedantry from me).

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    3. Lol if only it would retract rather than just expand

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  4. Oh, dear! If the rip IS the seam, or very close to it, it can be repaired quite easily. If I lived close enough I'd pop round with my sewing machine. Still doesn't prevent you looking like something the cat dragged in, though! xx

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  5. Good job you didn't get arrested for indecent exposure.

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  6. I hope you ripped the other leg to match, so people would simply think you're "artsy."

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  7. It's strange how we stew over things, I bet few people noticed and even if they did, probably never thought anything.

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  8. Anonymous11:01 am

    "with a pant leg flapping around like a sailors bellbottom". Ha Ha !!!!! - Jackie

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    1. You could hear the flap

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    2. Anonymous1:51 pm

      Since I understand you don't mind self-derision, here's my reaction “Oh Pistache 🤣!”

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    3. I’m sure someone will explain the last insult, I didn’t

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    4. Jo in Auckland7:10 pm

      I googled Pistache and the only thing that came up but still made no sense is Pistachio. But "nuts" does... does anyone say "oh nuts" when something goes wrong???

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    5. Trying to be clever and failing jo

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  9. Abba John! I was more worried about wrinkles. THAT is the pits.

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  10. What is it with you and Alan and pants!! We went hospital visiting, there were no spare chairs so Alan sat on the floor in Mum's room ... revealing that he had inadvertently put on his old jeans with the hole in the crotch. Great for cutting the grass while we were in Llandudno, not so great for visiting and eating out.

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  11. I once wore two unmatched shoes to work, one blue , one black with slightly different heal heights and different styles. No one noticed all day and believe me, if my colleagues had noticed, they would have been unmerciful in their comments. It would have been too good an opportunity to miss, to make fun of it.

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    1. I enjoyed that story , though it’s hard to believe , women notice shoes, I know

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    3. I was working in a hospital at the time and had unfashionably wide (baggy) trousers as part of the uniform, and that day was hectic. We all wore "sensible" shoes at that time and were later allowed to wear trainers.
      Just to add, a colleague saw me out of work in normal trousers and blurted out " I didn't know you were so slim" then went bright red

      10:08 am

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  12. Sorry for you but that literally made me LOL.

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    1. Anonymous1:52 pm

      Same here! CatherinefromFrance

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  13. I somehow missed your whole trip. I'm so glad that concert was everything you hoped it would be. As for a ripped trouser leg, could have been worse, you could have ripped the bum:)

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  14. "A safety pin! A safety pin! My kingdom for a safety pin!"

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  15. Everyone was probably looking at the lovely art and didn't even notice your torn pants, John. :)

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    1. I have it on good authority that they were looking at his fine bum, Ellen.

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    2. Indeed….I did win best bum of Prestatyn high school 6 th form …..45 years ago

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  16. Here in California they pay good money to have whole areas of their pants cut out to expose knees, hips, So your rip was likely looked at as a fashion choice.

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    1. How about a fat ankle?

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    2. I'm sure as I've seen the ankle area shredded or ripped as well. Peek-a-boo buttocks too.

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  17. This would only happen to you!--The good news , no one noticed probably, or cared if they did. And it wasn't the butt seam that ripped.

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    1. Of course you are right, I was amused because I felt so chic when I first put them on
      Hubris

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    2. I love that you felt chic--and I'm sure you were/ are---in your own way of course.

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    3. Lol in my own way

      Never a truer word

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  18. Barbara Anne2:06 pm

    I doubt anyone noticed but, as Roseanne Roseannadanna's father used to say, "It's always something!"
    Can you mend the pants yourself?
    Now in the picture of ABBA, the guitarist's pants are just tragic.

    Hugs!

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    1. LOL made me go back and pay attention. All the outfits are "tragic" (LOL again) except the pianist's.

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  19. As we say in our family, "Oh dear, we can dress you up, but we can't take you out in public".

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    1. It was a saying my mother wasn’t unfamiliar with

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  20. Others may glance and just think - " oh how eccentric " x 👖👞

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    1. Anonymous3:28 pm

      the correct word is scruffy

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    2. I’ve always been scruffy anon, and I’m not changing now

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    3. Jo in Auckland7:13 pm

      Scruffy is good! At least it's honest and upfront... unlike the various Anonymous characters that show their lack of!

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    4. Anonymous5:13 pm

      Jo in Auckland - someone else who can't stop themselves from replying to anonymous comments.

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  21. It could be the next new trend! You've got to laugh.

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  22. now i have you beat..stripped off couch cover covered with dog hair , took it to laundromat..washed it still dog hair, saw a young man and his mother ..thought i look better than them, flung the couch cover towards the dryer, big fan going blew dog hair onto their wet laundry...i was humbled and they were very nice about it...lesson learned.

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    1. Oh no,
      Speaking of dogs trendy carol bathed the Welsh when I was away…..message received and lesson learned

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  23. All told, I good memory you'll have though. But I know linen anything isn't cheap.

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    1. Bought on line , holiday wear

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    2. Anonymous7:30 pm

      Laughing at yourself, as long as it is genuine as in this case, is an attractive trait.
      I sense you do laugh at yourself easily but I think occasionally you may use it as a safety net go to .
      We Americans hate to laugh at ourselves btw

      Lee

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    3. Of course I do Lee….get in yourself before anyone else does

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    4. Anonymous8:55 pm

      Smiling quietly to myself

      Lee

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  24. Anonymous7:32 pm

    I thought you were travelling on your birthday ?
    Have you celebrated it already ?

    Keith

    Xx

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    1. My birthday is on Saturday Keith xx

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    2. Anonymous9:18 pm

      What are your plans x

      Keith

      Xx

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    3. I’m meeting Eleanor for supper on Thursday , and my friend colin on Friday …on Saturday I’m meeting up with all of my family and Sunday me and friend Ruth are going to the cinema and then a Japanese meal

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  26. Clothing mishaps can happen to anyone,I'm glad you didn't let yours stop you from enjoying the tour
    -Mary

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  27. Sorry this is off topic but just read that "Spirited Away" is getting rave reviews. It's a Ghibli theatre production at Coliseum in London. Maybe worth checking out when you are in London next.
    Linen pants are always a good choice.

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  28. Well poo! It happens.

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  29. Don't blame the Linen, blame the door.

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  30. Ah, that was pants!!
    At least linen is eminently mendable...I hope you enjoyed going round the museum, flapping trouser leg or not

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  31. Anonymous1:27 am

    Once found a blouse hanging in my closet. Couldn’t remember where it came from. Wore it to work anyway but realized about half way through the day it was a pajama top my daughter had hung on a hanger in error! Coworker thought it was hilarious! Kathy near Chicago

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