Years ago I went out with a drama Queen
He was big on gestures and huge of emotion.
He also had a temper, as have I
So we fitted badly. And the relationship was full of highs and lows
And addictive drama.
I’ve hated drama in any form since then.
I just don’t want to know it.
The nurse in me abhors drama,
It’s pointless and helps no one practically, and often just gets in the way of things.
It’s as if the emotion camouflages the reality
We always watch the noisy child don’t we?
I turn into my elder sister at times of drama, with a pursed lip and strong quiet I’m not doing this now
statement, which sets a scene.
Sure it’s often more satisfying to join in with the drama as their teeth often fit your wounds but eventually it’s all pointless , and fruitless and as hollow and dead as an old log in a wood.
Or as Kenneth Williams final words said what’s the bloody point?
No drama , just the Garden Arch Montana blooming this morning
Kenneth William did drama as drama. I remember his brilliance reading a story on Jackanory around 1970.
ReplyDeleteHe loved to be the centre of attention , something his mother cultivated
DeleteOh, yes Tasker...it was brilliant!
DeleteWith age comes ‘I don’t give a flying f*ck’ with me and folks can drown in their own dramas. As you rightly say, it is all a waste of energy that should be better used positively. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteHaving a blow out argument with someone is different , than dealing with a full blown drama Queen , it’s like herding cats
DeleteI also hate drama, I just walk away. I don’t garden anymore but every year I buy a white Mandevilla vine for my front porch and today was the day! I like that it keeps blooming until the really cold weather comes. Gigi
ReplyDeleteI’ve had to Google that, as I’m not familiar with the name, looks lovely similar to jasmine flower
DeleteI’ll stick with the Garden Arch Montana.
ReplyDeleteIt’s lovely
DeleteDrama is part of an abuse cycle.
ReplyDeleteLove bombing,
And aggression , just two extremes .
It’s exhausting and addictive at the same time, especially as you, as the victim wants to bite back and give your side.
WRONG!
that just feeds the drama.
You trolls seek the same, they are abusers
Lee
Absolutely. Emotional dysregulation is such a difficult thing for these folks to recognize and address . . . and in the meantime, they use the rest of us as stimulants or sedatives.
DeleteLove bombing is a typical behaviour of a narcissist,
DeleteI agree it can be part of an abusive behaviour
Lee - I wish you were my therapist x
DeleteI so agree, drama gets you nowhere. It just makes you angry, upset and exhausted, but doesn't move you any further forward. I try to steer clear of drama queens nowadays. I just haven't got the energy to deal with all the angst! The clematis is blooming well. Janet does a good job on your garden. I wish she lived near me, I could do with some tips! xx
ReplyDeleteShe cut it down so much that I feared it would never return, I should have trusted her, she knew what she was doing
DeleteDrama queens are exhausting. Their shtick gets real old real quick too.
ReplyDeleteThey get boring
DeleteDrama exhausts me these days, I try to avoid it at all costs. If it appears in my life I can swear at it like a trooper, or maybe like the sailor I married ... who unusually for a sailor never swears and is never involved in drama. He has walking away from situations and never looking back or worrying about things, off to a fine art. 🙂
ReplyDeleteWhen the drama is from a partner, it’s harder to walk away, especially when other emotions like love or infatuation are added to the mix
DeleteI would be tempted to do a posting that hit all of troll's hot buttons and see if they would explode.
ReplyDeleteIf only
DeleteI can't stand drama or any form of confrontation. Some folk seem to think it clears the air but I've never found that to be the case. Drama belongs on the telly.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
Great quote
Delete“ drama belongs on the telly”
I will steal that lol
😄😘
DeleteAlison x
He had an ugly nature and that's all I could ever see in him even though he clearly thought he was quite a catch...BA
ReplyDeleteShows how good your awareness is BA
DeleteThe older I get, the more I remind myself.
ReplyDeleteNot my circus, not my monkeys. X
Brilliant comment, love it😉. Jan
DeleteAnd keeping and knowing your boundaries is a great lesson in life to learn and to accept
DeleteThank you John. Lots of you thoughts today spoke straight to my heart. I am so pleased that life is treating you kindly. You deserve nothing less. I haven't commented in a while as struggling with a new phone but always read x Jo in Coventry
DeleteI avoid confrontations at all costs.
ReplyDeleteI much prefer to look at your Garden Arch Montana.
Another conflict avoider here. If anyone confronts me face-to-face it paralyses, leaving me LITERALLY speechless - and that person as victor while I am crushed and hating myself.
DeleteNo not Raymondo , it’s can be very powerful to say nothing as long as you don’t show your emotion on your face
DeleteWow. Lee's comment - I have never seen it put that way. He is right.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was powerfully explained too.
DeleteThat Garden Arch Montana is so lovely, John! You should have seen my lilac bush! It's starting to fade now but it was fabulous this year!
ReplyDeleteYour lilac Bush ! I’m not a lover of it, but it is lovely to look at
DeleteAs ever, just like Weaver, you have the perfect words here. So glad I found you both. - Jackie
ReplyDeleteWeaver is a natural thinker and more more of a diplomat that I xx
DeleteI have never heard that phrase before about teeth fitting wounds but it is so spot on. Exactly.
ReplyDeleteIt was first used with me by a boyfriend who knew he had some issues. We sparked off each other, hence the comment , which I’ve always kept inside me
DeleteI don't do drama. I come from a family who don't do drama either and a cloud was cast over my late mother's funeral by a 'friend' over-emoting and upsetting those who were grieving quietly and deeply. It was self-centred and shocking. Being in a relationship with someone like that must have been draining for you, John.
ReplyDeleteIt didn’t last long.
DeleteAs for grief, i see it daily. And I can accept its demonstrations in all of its forms
It’s visceral
As you say there is no one way fits all to grieve... I have lost both parents, and two siblings all grieved over and their loss keenly felt but I grieve more deeply for a young cat I hand raised from 10 days old. She was 2 years and 1 month old when she'd died on the road outside my house; I have never got over it.
DeleteThe only two places I like drama is on the stage or in the garden.
ReplyDeleteNow that’s another quote
DeleteSome people use drama to make themselves feel greater control. Personally, I have no room in my life for such individuals.
ReplyDeleteIt’s hard, but a counsellors job is to allow a person to work out ( if they want to) why they act the way that they do .
DeleteI have learned a great deal about my behaviour and where it originates, and that lesson is a hard one to accept sometimes especially if it doesn’t fit in to the picture you originally make for yourself
I must have missed something? Who is a drama queen that set you off? What is a drama queen, really---and what will you do if a client is that? Aren't people nowadays supposed to embrace emotion, no more ''stiff upper lip"?
ReplyDeleteLovely clematis, I always imagine them in blue, the pink is beautiful.
You didn’t miss new news Debby, I was talking about an old partner who was very much the drama Queen,
DeleteI will I am sure meet clients who exhibit similar behaviours and they could trigger similar feelings of upset , irritation, and anger. The important part of counselling is that I have the self awareness to recognise these triggers and where they come from. This is a therapeutic process in itself .
Supervision by a trained supervisor allows mirrors to be held up and reflections to be made
Person centred counselling allows the client to be heard however not all relationships CAN be therapeutic and recognising that is important too
I so admire your honesty and ability to grow emotionally and professionally. Lizzy (not Debby)
DeleteI’ve done the lizzy Debby thing again lol apologies
DeleteIn our fire lectures we were told not to waste time on the drama queen but to rescue the quiet ones. The DQ would get you killed, then get out by their own effort, trampling over everyone.
ReplyDeleteYes, the quiet patients, casualties , are the poorly ones. The vocal screamers are breathing well
DeleteI liked the comment by Nelliegrace and your answer John
DeleteWendy (Wales)
My grandmother was a drama queen of the first order, she could do drama spectacularly, and frequently did!
ReplyDeleteShe'd go into full drama queen mode, waving her arms about, shrieking, pretending to sob (always dry eyed), the whole shebang!
She attempted one of her 'me, me, me, I'm the centre of attention' acts on my wedding day.
For just once in my life, I wanted, and felt I deserved to be, the centre of attention, and told her that, somewhat forcefully. She looked thoroughly shocked, but shut up, and we had a wonderful day!
She did, of course, have a good moan to anyone who would listen, that I had told her off, and she didn't ever expect that her granddaughter would speak to her in such a way.
However, she never, ever, did the drama queen thing in my presence again! X
Boundaries are wonderful devices
Delete“ Sure it’s often more satisfying to join in with the drama as their teeth often fit your wounds but eventually it’s all pointless , and fruitless and as hollow and dead as an old log in a wood.”
ReplyDeleteBrilliant piece of writing.
Thank u
DeleteI'm with you and others on this: drama solves nothing and only incites chaos which is seldom needed or helpful. I steer clear of those folks.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful blossoms!
Hugs!
There is a sadness to someone who has to act like a child in order to illicit a response that somehow satisfies them
DeleteI've known various types of that nature - they seem to be attracted to me - Eventually I distance myself from them as they sap my energy x
ReplyDeletePerhaps you need to explore why they are attracted to you Flis ?
DeleteWhat it is in you that makes the drama happen?
Too polite - I tried to sort it out why they were so disturbed ,be understanding , kind ,ignore , put up with ,let them have their own way - My fault only for allowing the narcissist and flying monkeys to attack me ( they choose an easy target ) x
DeleteI have got to learn to turn and walk away, walk away...keep walking.
ReplyDeleteIt harder for some in relationships to walk away ,
DeleteEspecially since it is family for me.
DeleteDrama queens are a complete waste of time & energy.
ReplyDeleteGay ones especially jimbo
DeleteBeautiful clematis, mine here on the US east coast are blooming too. This is the time of year I wonder if I have a good place for a few more?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, there is enough drama in life without anyone manufacturing it. I have some of that in my family of origin and am so glad not to have it in my marriage/children.
Ceci
{STAMPS FOOT & BLOWS A RAZZER}
ReplyDeleteBlows a fart more like
DeleteDrama queens upset the energy by in a room by blasting all of their own in. I hate to be in their presence it upsets my equilibrium terribly; they walk in one door I leave by another if I'm lucky.
ReplyDeleteThat Montana is magnificent! Screams of spring... in a pretty way!
Whereas some people thrive on drama, I hate it. It's funny how people can be so different.
ReplyDeleteActing drama like that is very controlling behaviour..and unpleasant to be on the receiving end
ReplyDeleteYou deserve some comedy relief.
ReplyDeleteI used to love the drama….from about age 14 to maybe around 20ish. I grew out of it! Kathy
ReplyDeleteI can't stand drama queens either. I've only ever known one real exponent and she got the boot pretty quick.
ReplyDeleteDon't think I have ever known a drama queen but have certainly met quite a few canine ones. Poor Roger- shivering always raises sympathy.
ReplyDelete