A few years ago I remember nursing an Indian lady who had been admitted . She was in her late 60s and although she had a large number of visitors from her extended family, she had never married or had children of her own.
All of this lady's personal care was carried out by female staff but I do remember one occasion when she required a turn in bed and only one female support worker and I were available to do the deed.
I explained the situation to the patient and assured her that by folding the sheets in a certain way, I would not compromise her modesty, and she agreed I could help with a quiet passivity.
Just before I started to pull back the covers, I remember the lady reached over to her locker to pull out a face flannel which she placed over her own face before the turn, and I remember the support worker ( a delightful Welsh lass called Ann ) putting her hand over her own mouth in a gesture of sympathy.and concern
Even though the lady agreed to me to help, she just could not face to watch
me complete this everyday and usually unthinking procedure.She was just too ashamed
With great presence of mind, the support worker took the flannel away and gestured to the patient that I would close my eyes during the whole turn, and I would do as I was told , which the patient agreed to with a huge sigh. She took charge of the procedure and treated me with an appropriate “ bless him” attitude which suited the moment . I bowed to her gentleness and instinct.
I shut my eyes and the turn was done, without me seeing an inch of uncovered flesh.
I loved Ann for this moment
.....a bit of sweet humanity.
It is Ann’s funeral tomorrow, an unexpected funeral for sure,
I, like everyone at St Davids Hospice shall miss her greatly
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ReplyDeleteBernie Doran for President! He sounds a much better prospect than Trump and more righteous too!
DeleteThat kiss is sure getting a lot of air time.
ReplyDeleteOh, John if only all care staff were as thoughtful and considerate as Ann and you. Tomorrow will be a sad day, but many happy and funny memories of a much loved colleague and friend, I hope. xx
ReplyDeleteWhat a gentle and caring memory. I hope Ann's funeral goes well, it will be a very sad day for her family, friends and colleagues for sure. I hope more of the happy and caring memories come to mind for everyone.
ReplyDeleteAnn sounds like she was a wonderful nurse and person.
ReplyDeleteA helping, caring lifetime, with many years to go. Take care,
ReplyDeleteNurses can make all the difference when a person is nervous or scared. I'm always so thankful for nurses like Ann and you, John.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ellen D.
ReplyDeleteWhen a nurse or nurses go to the extra effort to preserve a patient's dignity, it can make all the difference in the world.
Teaching by example. Attuned to the patient.
ReplyDeleteWOW to the other scene.
Two funerals in a week is not a happy situation to be in, but hopefully there will be uplifting moments - like the Bonanza theme tune being played. x
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss of yet another friend. Your memory of Ann and you helping the lady brought tears to my eyes and heart. The beautiful humanity of it. It gives me hope.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget a hanky for tomorrow's goodbye. Hugs, good man.
ReplyDeleteThat was a lovely kiss. I think my favorite kiss between men is Brokeback Mountain, under the stairs. Very hot.
ReplyDeleteThat's so lovely that you and your coworker were able to sort out things for the lady and maintain her dignity. Dignity doesn't usually survive for long in a hospital.
How brilliant Ann was to suggest the alternative of your keeping your eyes colsed. May all nurses have that caring and insight for the benefit of their patients.
ReplyDeleteAnn will live on in memory.
Hugs!
Ann was a compassionate woman in the right field. I bet she left many special marks on people in her life time.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like she was definitely in the right profession.
ReplyDeleteDignity is difficult to preserve in a hospital, the two of you certainly succeeded. RIP Ann.
ReplyDeleteI had to read the post before I understood what you meant. "Chasted is good"
ReplyDelete"Chasted" is not a word.
There are the words "chaste" and "chastened" but not chasted.
It’s going to be another sad day for you mr Gray
ReplyDeleteToo many of those recently, I’m sorry
Lee
Ann sounds a wonderful compassionate caring nurse who knew what to do intuitively; I love people who can solve issues with relative ease and make others feel validated. Another sad day to farewell but remember another special person. R.I.P Ann.
ReplyDeleteThe world needs more Anns. I am sorry to read that we have lost the one we had. You have had quite a sad week. My condolences.
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a sweetness about that scene.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Ann. She was a very special person. I agree with other comments that there can be so little dignity retained in hospital, and to read of her thoughtfulness is wonderful.
John why do you keep talking about grief and death? It is a topic lots of people talk about these days but you seem increasingly drawn to talking about it You sound depressed to be honest
ReplyDeleteBecause his profession and current life events are what he writes about. This is his diary. He also talks about deep friendships which these events revolve around and the joy of those friendships even in times of sorrow.
DeleteHugs, dear man. Having nurses like you and Ann are such a gift.
ReplyDelete