All women do the same



 I love good theatre but I’m not a huge Opera Buff.
I have my favourites for sure but at 61 Mozart’s Cosi Fan Tutte ( translated as All Women Do The Same)seems to have slipped me by, so as it was my friend Ruth’s birthday, I thought , I would take her. ( she inherited a love for the medium from a mum steeped in London Culture who ended her days in Llanfairfechan.)
We saw a quality production for sure, but it’s themes of grooming, entrapment, fickle female sexual behaviour and infidelity seemed rather unhealthy which had Ruth observing if this wasn’t Mozart no one would be here!!!
The singing quality was amazing, truly sublime at times, as you would expect of The Welsh National Opera but I have to be honest I’d had enough after two hours of three of sexual subterfuge. 


Before the Opera we went for a lovely supper at Dylan’s where I had something called Mochyn Budr which means Dirty Pig in Welsh . It was fantastic 


I got home late and happy at having the first really nice time in two weeks  and the reality  hit me as sharply as slap in the face would have done. The Welsh , raised their heads sleepily from the reading chair in the kitchen and smiled a hello , but there was not the hysterical, tail wagging welcome from Dorothy as I’ve been used to for over the past five years. 
I sat at the kitchen table and for the first time since she was diagnosed by the kind Spanish vet , I had a good loud cry.
Only then did the Welsh get up and put concerned paws on my knees, their noses cold sniffing my face.
 

73 comments:

  1. It takes awhile some times. Be well.

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  2. Things can sneak up all at once, can't they.

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  3. Anonymous12:33 am

    Poignant, life and death have strange ways of sneaking up on your emotions. A hug from me. Jan in Castle Gresley

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  4. Anonymous12:36 am

    Those last few sentences are a reflection of how well you can share a moment. I’m in tears.

    Lee

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  5. You will miss Dorothy. She played a big part in your family. Take care John.

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  6. Barbara Anne12:48 am

    Dog sympathy is one of the most heartwarming kings of sympathy there is. We all miss Dorothy with you, Mary, and Roger.

    Hugs!

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  7. "Letting it out" is very healthy, and I'm sure the dogs will be keeping a close eye on you until you're recovered. I agree, most classical opera is sexist and over simplified, but the music is divine, so suspend your C21 sensitivities and enjoy the tunes! I actually prefer it done in traditional costumes, perhaps because that makes it easier to ignore the difficulties, or perhaps just because the costuming can be so gorgeous . I always imagine myself as the wealthy daughter/wife wearing gorgeous dresses that someone else cleans, and irons.... in fact I'd by the poor skivvy earning pence, while my family lived in a hovel with neither running water nor sewerage!!

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    1. Yes I get that, and it’s something I do with slightly outdated films from the 1930s and 40s

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  8. In English does Llanfairfechan mean "Land for feckin' " because it sure sounds like that.

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    1. Llanfairfechan (Welsh for 'Little St Mary's Parish')

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  9. Oh dear John, such highs then such lows---and you must be exhausted too. Your night out did sound lovely, was this live opera or a broadcast? The costuming looks very odd, like a late 60s throwback to Hair.

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    1. It was the Welsh National Opera set in a school for love, in a 1970s type of secondary school

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  10. Anonymous1:56 am

    All those firsts are tough, go through your routine and they aren't there and it hits. Hurts the heart. Jen

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  11. Oh dear John,it sounds as though the reality that Dorothy won't be there for you to touch truly finally occurred to you.You were both fortunate to share a special bond,love can hurt and still be a cherished part of life,xx -Mary

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    1. The issue with the Welsh is that they are low maintenance . Dorothy was a consistent high maintenance. needy and demanding

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  12. It catches you unawares, doesn't it? You're going along, being sensible and practical...and then...out of nowhere, the loss hits you. Hugs, my friend.

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    1. Explained just right Debby. It was sudden realisation that she would never say hello to me before anyone else

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  13. That was my mother's name for me; Mochyn bydr. I was known as that until the age of 21.

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    1. A favourite nickname for the engli#h children at school…
      Dirty pig

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  14. Grief certainly does catch us unawares. Just those sudden moments and realisations. You were the centre of her universe.

    I love the description of your meal - "frazzle dusted potatoes"

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  15. Anonymous7:02 am

    So sorry to hear about Dorothy. Sending you a hug from Australia. Gillian

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  16. Anonymous7:35 am

    It’s good to have a cry and you have soldiered on through an awful time. Big hugs John is all I can offer, noreen

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  17. Anonymous8:19 am

    One death seems to bring back the grief of all the previous deaths and rock my world when it hits. Then it starts to scab over again until the inevitable next time. I’ll never be without a dog. Hugs,
    weavinfool

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    1. The hospice staff heard of an ex colleague who is seriously ill , that happened yesterday too

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  18. weaver8:49 am

    Thank goodness you have those two Welsh darlings John. RIP Dotty dear - you might be gone but you will never be forgotten. Cocktail sausages will call you to mind every time John buys them.

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    1. Yes, the two of them are just what I need
      No drama dogs weave xx

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  19. I feel the pain all the way here. She will never be forgotten. And you always have your wonderful way of moving from sadness and pain to quiet joy.

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    1. Up and down like a whores knickers xx

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  20. When I lived in Oxford ('75-'88) we were visited by all the major touring opera companies, and I was ever perplexed with their seemingly ALWAYS bringing 'Cosi' with them. Oh, for crying out loud! It was as though Mozart never wrote another opera (He wrote over a dozen 'traditional' operas). Not that it's a BAD piece - far from it (apart from all those wearisome Italian recitatives). But how I used to long for just the occasional 'Flute' or 'Tito' to name just two.

    Dorothy is going to live forever in your mind and heart, bless her sweet memory.

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  21. A good night out...which relaxed you enough to let all the sadness leave. Well done M&R. You have five years of memories to fill the space she left and enjoy looking back on.

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  22. When it catches you unawares like that it's always heart wrenchingly painful, but sometimes those tears heal you the most. I'm glad your little Welsh duo came to comfort you.

    It sounds like Dylan's has improved somewhat. We went there when it first opened and weren't impressed enough to ever go back. Perhaps we were unfair.

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    1. The menu isn’t quite as fussy, they have just opened a smaller version in conwy

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  23. Anonymous11:25 am

    I kind of wondered when the loss of Dorothy would smack you. You are so lucky to have Mary and Roger to ease your loss. Maybe now their personalities will shine. A few good cries always helps. And by the way what the hell are frazzle dusted potatoes? They sound disgusting. Just because a menu sounds posh doesn’t always make the food taste better. Glad you enjoyed it! Take care my friend. Gigi

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  24. The empty house and missed greeting is difficult.

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    1. Having a high maintainable bulldog is like having a loud toddler 24/7

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  25. Anonymous11:56 am

    What a heart rending description of the way grief sneaks up on us.

    As for the opera, I am saddened by today's efforts to white wash the past and bring films, plays, etc., into today's sensibilities. It is a great way to learn about what times were really like in those days, and to measure how far we have come.
    Nina

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  26. Anonymous12:16 pm

    Only certain pet "owners" know about that special bond with them we have. It is good to have a long cry over our losses. This has happened to me several times.

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  27. A case study in understanding loss, I have never been very good at grieving.

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  28. That over excited greeting that only a dog can give is always going to be missed for a while I think. I am glad you have the two Welshes for comfort.

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  29. (Hugs) At last, better out than in. Tears are the balm that washes the pain from the soul. It helps soothe the mind in order to move forward and to heal in your own time and way. Its the firsts and the empty space afterwards when you cannot cuddle, scratch an ear or give sausages. Roger and Mary will help with that in their own indomitable ways. Let it out as it comes x

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  30. You are a writer.

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  31. Anonymous2:01 pm

    John so sorry for your loss . I do think working in Palliative care makes us feel these things more acutely . It’s as if a little bit of that grief we encounter soaks in to our psyche . Be kind to yourself . Time for scotch eggs and a good g and t methinks ! Xx Bernie

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    1. Yesterday an old friend was poorly on intensive care and will be just for palliative support when discharged, I think that this tipped my emotional balance yesterday x

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  32. I'm sure the loss will hit you repeatedly. At least you have the support of the terriers.

    Most operas are WAAAY too long for me. That's one gay stereotype that completely passed me by.

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    1. The only opera which judged it right in my mind is carman

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  33. Anonymous3:15 pm

    Let us know how you heal, is it each to his own , as I suspect. I am doing mine, my way. Thinking it is different for each and every person. No right or wrong way. Do as you feel is right for you.

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    1. I’m usually very pragmatic Gemma, poorly and older dogs , in my mind should never experience a poor quality of life, they just don’t understand it

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  34. Dogs, they can warm your heart and break it too, I wish you well as you process her loss. Take care John.

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    1. I’m ok jim, it just caught me unawares ,crept up behind me

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