Nurses are taught to say “ Died” not gone, or passed or anything else
I loved this bit of tv gold
Lovely quiet day today. I met my sister Ann, her husband and my late brother’s wife for lunch at the Dinorban Arms https://www.brunningandprice.co.uk/dinorbenarms/homepage/
I scrubbed up and enjoyed lovely food but average service
Tomorrow, Chic Eleanor and I are off to see All of Us Strangers
That made me laugh.Thanks.
ReplyDeleteJackie was a cracking character and Laurie Metcalf plays her wonderfully here
DeleteGreat stuff. I loved Roseanne.
ReplyDeleteI always liked Darlene
DeleteDo to my training I still use the "dead" word in the outside world. Some people find it harsh but I feel it is more honest.
ReplyDeleteI prefer died to dead I think
DeleteSo many euphemisms for death. I guess some people dislike the term. Makes me think of the dinnerladies sketch, where Bren says about the poem 'I haven't died, I've just slipped into the next room', "They could be dead AND in the next room! Have they thought about that?" xx
ReplyDeleteAh Victoria woods wonderful northern logic
DeleteThat clip is so funny.
ReplyDeleteYes, a real funny pice by metcalf
DeleteSo funny! When I got the call the nurse just said J died at 9:00 this morning. Do you want to come and see him? I said no, its a bit too late. He didn’t want me to see him dead so I complied. Gigi
ReplyDeletebut my dad is in another room - I've met him in a marbled room in a palace - whilst I was sleeping x
ReplyDeleteOh 😃
DeleteDeath of a loved one isn't something to make a joke about flis, please stop making your ridiculous comments, they're offensive and hurtful.
DeleteNo - It is You that is offensive.
DeleteI agree with Anonymous on this Flis, so many times your comments do border on being ridiculous and often, hurtful. You do it so often and it isn't either needed or nice. John has a good foillowing of readers on here which is constantly spoiled by your remarks.
DeleteAlso hasn't John asked you to refrain from replying to Anonymous comments?
DeleteP ?? - You were not in the room with my darling father and myself - So go away.
DeleteFlis I'm flummoxed by your comment, it makes no sense. Are you saying you had a dream about your father? Not actually present in a room?
DeleteAt work I was once told by a person senior to me that my use of "died" was insensitive and inappropriate.
ReplyDeleteRealistically, no amount of euphemism will change the reality of death.
I also think clear non verbal communication is vital
DeleteA look can convey so much more
It may sound naive of me but the first time I heard the expression that someone had passed I thought they had taken an exam.
ReplyDeleteExactly the point….
DeleteGreat clip!
ReplyDeleteThe Dinorban Arms looks lovely -- nice menu too! Glad you enjoyed it with your family.
ReplyDeleteWe are all getting to the stage that daytime meets are much easier than evening especially in winters days
DeleteSometimes that show was pure genius.
ReplyDeleteIt really is silly for us to think that if we use words and phrases like, "passed away" or "departed" that the absolutely reality of dead won't hit so hard.
Wrong.
You know what else I really dislike? When people refer to someone's death by saying, "she finally lost her valiant battle with..." whatever it was. Just seems so inappropriate to me in so many ways.
But people never say the battle thing when people take their own life !
DeleteSo unfair
John! That is exactly right!
DeleteIn the US people often use the “lost their battle with” depression, mental illness or drug abuse etc.
DeleteI don’t have a problem with people using euphemisms for death or illness. Life is hard. Whatever makes it a bit easier I’m ok with as long as it isn’t illegal, immoral or intentionally hurtful.
Wise. Tina in west oz.
DeleteHealth workers have to be careful believe me I’ve seen some dreadful mistakes
DeleteAmen, John. I sat with the male hospice nurse at two in the morning after my husband died. He was going over the medication to account for everything. At one point he said to me "You seem to be taking this well" since I wasn't crying (being more numb than anything at that point after going alone through several hours of my husband actively dying.) It made me feel like I was barely into widowhood and I was a failure at it already.
DeleteI will never forget when a woman at work received a call from the nursing home informing her that her mother had expired. It was very upsetting to her to be given such a cold message. This was a very emotional woman. You could head her hysterics through the building and several people had to help her out of the building.
ReplyDeleteThe howl of grief
DeleteI’ve never gotten used to it
Never will
I've been reprimanded since living here for using the word 'died' as these are classed as sheltered housing for the over 55's. I just can't bring myself to use phrases such as 'passed on' or 'gone ahead' call me callous but I'd rather be blunt.
ReplyDeleteThe world has gone mad
DeleteThat was the sort of quiet day you needed. I think you will be devastated by All Of Us Strangers. It is an unforgettable love story and ghost story that encompasses everything, not just gay identity - and the sort of quiet, claustrophic film that could only be a British indie film. Andrew Scott (probably the best British actor working today) is extraordinary, but all four of the cast are outstanding. Prepare to be moved in your soul. And to cry, without any sentimental manipulation. I don't cry, but sat at traffic lights on the way home in floods of cathartic type tears. Unforgettable. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI’m going in with an open mind x
DeleteThis was so funny. Most nurses are "right to the point." Direct and no dancing around. My mother was a surgical nurse. Talk about direct. OMG
ReplyDeleteToo funny. Thanks for the laugh:)
ReplyDeleteAnother surgical nurse here and what I cannot abide is "passed" as if it was a test. I grew up with "passed away" or "died" and not with patients or thir families, but "Shuffled off this mortal coil."
ReplyDeleteFunny clip, indeed!
What a busy and wonderful wekk you're haiving, John!
Hugs!
I don't know how many times I seen that clip, and it still makes me laugh. Hope you've enjoyed the movie; will see it. I think I see almost anything Andrew Scott is in...
ReplyDeleteI guess that I am not one for euphemisms. I prefer 'died'.
ReplyDeletePoor Roseanne. She's gone off on the crazy train. If I skip the euphemisms, the woman is not sane.
I am not a nurse or anything, but I never say anything but dead or died. I cannot stand the other things people say.
ReplyDeleteI know that "howl of grief". When my father died after a long illness, I realised that I was the one making the sound.
ReplyDeleteThe meal and the company sound good. Shame the service wasn't quite as good though.
"He sends his love!" Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the post. Really looking forward to reading more. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteI once told someone that I had lost both my parents at a young age and actually got the response "Well that was careless of you."!!!!!
ReplyDelete“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” You can't beat a bit of Wilde on a Friday - Bel Ami
DeleteYes, I know the quote, but it's not funny in real life.
DeleteThat phone call reminds me of my Sicilian-American acquaintances who called family in Sicily to tell them “dad” had died. They used every American euphemism and got questions in return like: “He’s gone? Where did he go?” “What did he pass?” “What bucket?” It ended with. “He’s dead!”
ReplyDeleteAgree totally about "dead" - anything else I find ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteNice one pat
DeleteI always ask people 'You mean she/he's dead' if they are telling me in a very roundabout way, if anything it seems to help them that I've said the word and they don't have to.
ReplyDeleteI used to love Roseanne, her husband in the show was comedy gold.
You do scrub up well. I have a friend who uses the term "transitioned" when someone dies. I always want to ask her, "what name should I use now?"
ReplyDeleteOh GOD, that was hilarious! I love Laurie Metcalf in any of her roles! Sheldon's Mom on Big Bang is my favorite. My Hubs works for a funeral home where they use all manner of euphemisms when referring to the "deceased" because they believe it shows respect. Responding to death and dying is so different for everyone - it's hard to know how to say the right words. After my sister's husband died, she said she didn't care how people said it, but that they spoke to her. It was as if death was something people could "catch" and they stayed away from her. I don't think it's fear of death, it's fear of being drawn into the feelings of grief that none of us like and hope to avoid. To sit with someone grieving and not try to "there there" them out of it, is the kindest thing one can do.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 ...... I can remember that the first time round !!! Lovely to have had quality time with the family .... my family are all coming tomorrow to celebrate my birthday ! XXXX
ReplyDeleteAm in the American South where people love to say that somebody has passed. Am always tempted to ask what course they were taking.
ReplyDeleteI too try to say dead/dying rather than some soft substitute. We are all too much afraid to talk about death. Over here it is a superstition; say the "D" word and it will happen.
ReplyDelete