The first fifth of my counselling course is almost completed
The next part veers away from academia to the psychological
As a group we embark on “Personal Development” which is essentially weekly facilitated group therapy .
Individually we have to experience therapy as any client would do.
Paying for the service like any other member of the public.
Soon after we start our placement areas supervised by trained therapists specially trained in the support of rookie counsellors. We have to pay for that support too.
I have already started my counselling experience and I have a male counsellor at my request.
He’s gay, insightful and has lovely potted plants.
Today, after college I explored my dealing ( or lack of dealing) with loss and the session was filled to the brim of grief and of crying.
I have never cried for a nearly an hour , in my life before.
Even my counsellor looked a little concerned
Are you ok to drive home ?”he eventually asked
And I was, even though I looked like a melted waxwork of Christopher Biggins
Is this normal ?” I asked before I left, knowing the answer as soon as I said it
And my counsellor , knowing his stuff , said nothing but “well done”
I lit the fire when I got home, answered blog comments without thinking and curled up on the couch in the dark under a blanket covered in dogs, who could all sense the emotion of the day.
We shared a large packet of chicken crisps
And my salty cheeks were licked clean of historic sadness
Brave, honest, mad and the emotions the session evoked will heal and help you through your course, you have my sincere admiration John. PS keep your eye on his lovely potted plants, this comment along with yours about your feather dusting has lifted my spirits midst a hack of a cough. Take care of you. Jan in Castle Gresley x
ReplyDeleteJust when we think we have recovered from something,we are triggered into realizing we aren't really over it. There are always more tears when we think we have cried all we can. I hope you are able to fully adjust to your losses and become.truly happy and.content.
ReplyDeletesending you a big hug xxxx
ReplyDeleteIt’s fine, just part of the process
DeleteI’m off to bed xx
Hard work, but good work. Many of us would benefit from the experience. Being honest and open will pay off in the long run.
ReplyDeleteIt's normal to cry a lot in therapy!
ReplyDeleteI really can't think of anything more therapeutic than a big cry, an unhealthy snack and a cuddle with beloved dogs except my snack of choice would be sweet
Normal as in common, absolutely. It is hard, hard work to do therapy. Well done, be brave, as brave as you can.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're off to a promising start on your healing journey. A good cry is always the start, isn't it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a very good therapist.
ReplyDeleteI’ve followed going gently for a long time
ReplyDeleteYou have done the legwork here dear one
Keith
Xx
It sounds like you got just the right therapist for you. Have a good sleep under your blanket of pooches. Gigi
ReplyDeleteMethinks your therapist said just the right thing: 'well done'. Sleep well, sweet dreams, and be gentle with yourself tomorrow. The family will understand.
ReplyDeleteIt's a been a dark and rainy day/night here with too much wind.
Hugs!
The photo at the top of this post is one of my favorites!
DeleteHugs!
Oh John - big hugs. Grief is never quite 'done' with us, but facing it helps us make it a friend.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a very good session.
ReplyDeleteStuff bottled up but you knew that already. It was good to breach the dam.
ReplyDeleteI always find therapy oddly something I look forward too. I have done several sessions over the years when I have felt the need to compartmentalise things but not knowing how. I love the way that a really good therapist doesn't answer questions for you but prompts you to answer the questions for yourself therefore getting insight into what ails you. (or not as the case may be) It's an incredibly helpful thing to do no matter the reason.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Jo in Auckland
I seem to have given myself a double name for some reason!
DeleteJo in Auckland
A cathartic episode maybe. Counselling really seems to release deep emotion from what I've heard, although I have no personal experience. A difficult but rewarding process.
ReplyDeleteDogs are the best comfort - like good therapists, they don't ask questions.
ReplyDeleteHow do you feel now?
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like you will be putting yourself through the wringer.
ReplyDelete"Gay, insightful and has lovely potted plants" does it for me! Yes, it is a fun comment, but also shows, even when in the depth of emotion, your objective mind is seeing and assessing - which means you are going to be a terrific gay and insightful counsellor yourself. No surprise that a lot of emotional dead wood needed cutting out and disgarding from that session, which should ease the burden always lying across your shoulders and will now allow you to step forward. So - onwards! With your own potted plant collection!
ReplyDeleteSo good for carers to be given a save place to grieve.
ReplyDeleteWe had an unaccompanied guest speaker for the last session of the day on a NHS bereavement course. She dug and dug at each member of the group in turn, until she had reduced them to tears, and then she left. It was nasty and harrowing, some were in no state to go home. The course leader had gone, and we had to help as best we could, over tea and biscuits.
I hope those tears proved to be cathartic, even if they were painful. xx
ReplyDeleteYes, it usually involves crying as I recall. You've made a good start and I'm sure you'll be an excellent counsellor. Jxx
ReplyDeleteI don't know if gay men are better at dealing with their emotions but straight men struggle mightly with emotions and especially grief. It's good to have counselors go through their own therapy, to understand the process and to process their grief and other emotions.
ReplyDeleteI was angry for so many years until I realized that I was sad (so not just straight men, sigh, I only just got that). Since then my anger has subsided, although it does like to bubble up at times. I look at things now when I feel angry and I also have some compassion for myself as well now.
This human gig, it's hard:)
Sounds very draining. I had no idea you had to pay for those college sessions. So glad the therapist had nice potted plants.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteDidn't the course details say you would have to pay for those sessions? If not then there is negligence on their part. Or did you just not bother to read the small print?
I seem to remember John saying that he would have to pay, when he first enquired about the course.
DeleteI remember once when I was in counseling, sitting in his office literally sweating, and saying "Oh, so NOW I understand why they call this "working with a therapist!"
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it was SO hard and So worth it! Although I think I need to go in for a tune up right about now.
Nina
Well, it sounds like a productive counseling session, for sure. It will be good to get some insight into the process as both counselor and patient (since you can see things more or less from both sides).
ReplyDelete