My sister made me a Christmas Wreath
I haven’t seen “Brian” Since the Flower Show. He’s taken early retirement and spends a great deal of his time golfing. We banter when we meet, which is usually as one of the village events and I like him.
This time, in front of a large gathering he made graphic reference to my weight.
It was all very jolly but at the same time incredibly rude and I suddenly felt like a picked on child at school than an affable 61 year old at a village fair.
I covered up any embarrassment with a witty retort but wanted to say
“Why say such a thing to me when you wouldn’t dream of saying it to a woman or indeed a man of lesser good nature?.”
I have no doubt that he meant to be funny
But why say anything like he did?
It was unkind, and it left me feeling bruised
Some people are very thoughtless, I'm sorry you are feeling hurt.
ReplyDeleteSo am I, but then it’s up to me to do something about it…
DeleteMy heart sort of dropped to my stomach when I read that. I think banter can easily turn wrong without ill intent if one is not careful.
ReplyDeleteOf course there was no intent ,
DeleteBut words wound and do easily
It’s a story about that,
That’s all
Address it with him!
ReplyDeleteHe’s not someone I see regularly , it’s not important to me that much to challenge him
DeleteYou are right Karen, it’s important that. Address my weight again , that’s what it’s all about really
DeleteHow rude. I'm sorry his words hurt you, John. There is no excuse for his behaviour. I feel so incensed about it, so can appreciate how you feel. xx
ReplyDeleteVery rude and unacceptable. Being a sarcastic scot, I would have said, “ I can always lose the weight but you’re stuck with that face”. Equally rude but I really hate comments about my appearance which are already obvious to me. Catriona
ReplyDeleteAgain I’ve seen how someone else sees me
DeleteAnd it hurt
Because they are right, albeit socially so rude about it
I'm sure he didn't mean it, but that was cruel of him. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteI agree he didn’t mean anything by it
DeleteI think he THOUGHT he was funny but perhaps he should have thought longer before saying such a thing.
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteRecognize that this is not acceptable to treat someone this way and address it with him, but be aware that he may gaslight your feelings and make you question yourself for being too sensitive.... Do not listen to that and the voices in your head that let doubt in.
ReplyDeleteI’m sensitive but it was rude
DeleteIt's never ever funny to "joke" about someone's weight, appearance, etc. Don't care who you are, don't care if "you didn't mean it." That is the lowest form of interaction, and he is a bully. And I know that feeling of being bullied. It stabs the tenderest part of the heart. I've been wounded by comments like that, too, and I hate it that I still can be. There is NO way to positively spin this, it was plain mean. I come after the bullies now, rather than silently take their shit.
ReplyDeleteHow could you not be hurt - it was a mean thoughtless thing to say. In your shoes I would be rethinking all earlier positive interactions with this person, too. I suspect my impulse would be to conceal that I had been hurt ("don't let them see you bleed" type reaction).
ReplyDeleteNow I'm not sure what to hope for - that he realized that he was being a jerk and is now suffering? So pain but growth?
Or that he doesn't realize he had the power to wound and chose to do so?
Warmest regards,
Ceci
Ceci - I agree. True colors and all of that. One cannot un-ring a bell. No matter if the jerk ever realizes what he said was inappropriate or hurtful, those words will always be in the back of John's mind, and I am sure, will cause him to question just how much a friend the guy truly is.
DeleteHumor often covers deep feelings. Words hurt. It is nice to be healthy enough, and to have enough to eat well, if it makes me a little round, so be it.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for feeling hurt. I would feel the same way. Insensitive and cruel! I don't care how funny he meant to be.
ReplyDeleteI feel that people who make "witty", "funny" or otherwise "jokey" comments about people's appearance are probably feeling insecure in themselves. It doesn't help knowing this and the words can be hurtful. People should really put their brain into action before opening their mouths. Sadly this happens less and less frequently. Cheers, Ro (n.w. Italy)
ReplyDeleteI feel for you John, it was so very unkind of the man, you are a fine fella and I’d be your cuddle buddy to cheer you 🙏. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear he soured the Christmas Fair for you.
ReplyDeleteHe didn’t debra, but he’s got me questioning my own way of dealing with things
DeleteOh yes I so get this. Maybe he is simply envious of your ease in social occasions, however, simply not an excuse for rudeness.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
It's just rude and unpleasant. It's not joking it's a form of bullying in my opinion. It is never right to comment on a person's weight, whether it's how skinny they are, fat or to ask a woman if she is pregnant!
ReplyDeleteBullying is a type of aggressive behavior. I see it among all age groups and in both men and women. Unfortunately, a bully is often someone popular or a bantering type. It is never, ever appropriate. I cannot count the times this has either happened to me or I have observed another. Later, I think of all kinds of things I could/should have said. But, when shocked in the moment, I simply just stood there or made some mild comment back or just laughed. Grrrrrr! This makes me so angry that I cannot retrieve that perfect line used at the moment of attack, and it is an attack. Bullies often will say “don’t be so sensitive” when challenged - another bully comment! We have all read or watched actors with a well-written script promptly give the perfect retort, but unfortunately that is rarely real life. I also admit that the first thought I had is “what would Pat say?” Your blog and Pat’s are the only blogs I follow. I know this is of no help but I wanted to comment anyway. Jackie.
ReplyDeleteHe's mean and a bully. There's no excuse for these types of "jokes". I'm sorry, John.
ReplyDeleteRemarks about a person's appearance are unacceptable. I'm not sure how I would react. You are worth so much more than his snide comments. Josie x
ReplyDeleteEven if it was meant as a joke with no malice, it was certainly thoughtless. Did others laugh too?
ReplyDeleteDon’t think he meant to be cruel. He may have been caught off guard. I’d let it go.
ReplyDeleteMy weight needs adressing so in some ways I should thank him
DeleteI agree it would have been a hurtful thing and, being overweight myself, I understand your feelings. However, in your previous post you refer to your ‘fat bastard’ look. It could be that by making jokes about it yourself, others feel that it an ok topic for humour.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't sound as if it's bullying with intent John. Perhaps he's read your blog and some of your self-deprecating comments, thinking it was okay to say it. I would hope it was said in a thoughtless moment or perhaps he thought that you would laugh along with him or make the witty riposte you did. Maybe he realised he'd said the wrong thing and was mortified he had, but once it had been said couldn't take it back. It doesn't address the hurt, humiliation, or embarrassment at such a thing being said in a public space, and if he did mean it then yes, it's unpleasant and he's not someone you want to associate with. It sounds as if he's not someone you're too familiar with. Some people, as we all know from having lived lives are just downright insensitive. I agree, it's not something you expect at 61 - it doesn't matter if we're six or sixty, we all have our feelings. Perhaps someone might bring it to his attention and he'll do the right thing and apologise.
ReplyDeleteHe’s not read the blog but I take your point about my use of humour when describing myself
DeleteI refer to myself as a fat bastard with humour which is there to defuse a remark which could sting
It also semi disguises my own thoughts about my own image , which are not as robust as I think they are
Oh dear, not kind. x
ReplyDeleteWhat he chose to do was go for a cheap laugh to bolster himself amongst others. A cruel choice. In my younger days I would have kept my head down and not shown how hurt I was. Now I would say something, Jean in Winnipeg
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I admire about you is that you never "go offline" when the posts or comments get tough!
ReplyDeleteI dislike it when people say something they really want to say, even if it's mean and rude, and then they say, I was only joking. It's called gaslighting.
ReplyDeleteYes in relationships I get that
DeleteWhat a jerk. We all have an inner child who can be terribly hurt by remarks like that. Brian obviously has an inner child that's a bully looking for attention.
ReplyDeleteYesterday afternoon his teeth fit my wounds
DeleteTell Brian he hurt your feelings with that comment. Maybe he will think twice when speaking with others.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me that people still think it’s okay to treat fatness as they would never treat race or other differences.
ReplyDeletePS. Nice wreath!
DeleteIt lights up
DeleteNo, not acceptable atall, especially in public. Even in private one should be wary of saying anything...unless asked.
ReplyDeleteHere's a (((Big Virtual Hug))).
He’s an ex policeman, the banter , I suspect is very male based and common there
DeleteHurting with you John. Wish I could give you big hugs til the feelings pass. It would be nice if the bully went without sleep after realizing how hurtful he is, but doubt that’s the case. I only ever think of witty retorts days after something like that happens. Your true friends love you and hope you feel better soon. By the way…wasn’t the Queen residing in your upstairs window? Has she disappeared?
ReplyDeleteNo she’s still there in my office window at the back of the cottage. She looks and waves back at the village
DeleteI have never understood why anyone would think it OK to say anything negative about someones appearance, their home etc to their face ? They must know it will hurt ..... I have always thought it is because the person has problems of their own and want you to feel bad as well. Personally, I would ignore it and know it's their problem and not yours .... John, you're lovely so sending a virtual big squeeze { I know you would rather it came from a Russel Crowe type but that's all I've got 🤣 !!! } XXXX
ReplyDeleteI’m sensitive about my weight problem , and it IS. A problem which took hold during lockdown
DeleteHow bloody rude! My dear friend once replied to a comment about her weight "I can diet but you'll always be Ugly!" x
ReplyDeleteShe must have been a fan of Winston Churchill
DeleteShe was great at remembering witty quotes, I usually think of a half decent reply three days later!x
DeleteHis comment shows lack of judgement and poor manners. Also, insensitive to the feelings of others. Is it possible, he had to much to drink and simply was not thinking? Either way, he owes you a very big apology. I have wondered, in the past, how some people can be so oblivious...Try to let it go and not spoil the rest of your day. It is not worth your time.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble is, we start to think we get to an age where such casual insensitivity doesn't touch us any more. But then it does, and usually in surroundings and with people where we normally feel safe, casual and easy. And it's like a sharp little splinter we can see but can't get from under the skin. Because it sticks there. You will never feel the same about him. And that is all his own fault. Such remarks are unnecessary, crude and rude. Dammit, I don't think of you as fat. Chunky, yes, cuddly certainly. But would a skinny you still be you? I doubt it. Kindness outdoes kilos. End of.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a very relevant and insightful comment.and one I have valued.
DeleteIn uni we students are looking at self and self image , and thi moment is pertinent to this self reflection. .
Just live with it. Shrug one's shoulders, I'm a good shrugger.
ReplyDeleteJon I.O.W
Usually I am too…I wonder why I’m not today
DeleteLong, long ago, I heard a famous comedian say that one rule of his comedy was to never make a joke about a person unless it was about something about themselves they could change within 5 minutes. I thought that wise as well as kind. He said it better than I wrote it, but I've had no coffee yet. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
An interesting age babs and it’s wiser that you think on first look
DeleteThe wreath is beautiful, I love how you have displayed it.
ReplyDelete"Brian" was so unkind, I am so sorry he hurt you. Perhaps with your therapy training and insight you can surmise why he felt the need to be cruel at your expense,---but really? No excuse.
I use self depreciating humour a great deal perhaps that gave him permission to react the way he did
DeleteI agree with Lizzy D.
ReplyDeleteUse your new found skills in counselling to determine WHY he said what he did.
There'll be a reason and it'll have very little to do with you.
x
I don’t think the reason is so profound , I think it was a glitch of the moment
DeleteIt says more about him than you , me dear.
ReplyDeleteI think it shows I can be as brittle as others
DeleteDear God. It's the end of the world as we know it: I find myself agreeing with Anonymous. John, something to ponder: Why do you speak about yourself using words that hurt if they come from anyone else?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, when hurtful comments are made, I have found that the best defense is a simple 'That's hurtful,' and walking away. A lengthy reply allows people to defend the comment in a give and take situation. A short reply that conveys your feelings, coupled with a walking away makes gaslighting harder.
Don’t belittle a thought or feeling with a “ dear god” that minimises it and you are not the one feeling the feeling Debby .also it’s easy to to act in hindsight.
DeleteI’m the first one to use reflection and have done at times, but occasionally a comment just gets under the radar and your excellent advice is harder to implement
I am very sorry that you took offense, John. Absolutely none was intended. None. I am speaking from the POV of someone who is dealing with the same sort of condescension and ridicule from someone I dearly love. It has been a cause of great personal grief to me. I had come to the conclusion that my own self deprecation emboldened her. She knows when she is hitting a nerve, because she has heard it from my own mouth. I have realized that it also allows her to sidestep any responsibility for her hurtful words because it is easy to turn it into 'it is not what I say, but how you are hearing it's, hence my suggestion to use as few words as possible.
DeleteIt was not my intention to criticize or to hurt your feeling even more. I feel very badly about this exchange.
…..the Dear God was a poke but didn’t really fit the post. Confusing to me in this case. Hope everyone can use this as a little tap on the heart to be cautious with their words. In NYC this week with 6 girls and it’s so hectic and stressful at times. Been working hard on being a calm and level voice of reason! Kathy fr Chicago
DeleteThe dear God was meant to highlight the surprise I felt in finding myself agreeing with anonymous. (Although this might be a different anonymous.) In any case, I find myself feeling terrible at all of this.
DeleteDon’t feel bad Debby , it’s a discussion
DeleteOne I’m not having with anon who just wants to stir the pot
I’m thinking to myself why I use humour to deal with a subject that deals with my self image
DeleteInstead of thinking why you use humour why don't you remedy the root cause? You're self conscious about your weight so the remedy is to lose the excess weight, you'll feel better about yourself and there wouldn't be remarks about it. You went to a slimming group and felt better about yourself, there's your remedy. No need for more thinking to yourself. Feel free to delete after reading.
DeleteI’d never thought of this ! Jesus!
DeleteWe have stepped back from the apocalypse. Once again, I find myself at odds with anon's approach and choice of words.
DeleteAnon is trying ( and not succeeding) to stir the pot
DeleteIt's about time you stopped referring to yourself as a fat bastard. When we deprecate ourselves it gives the world carte blanche to do the same darling man x
ReplyDeleteI feel like making a remark about myself or my fam is funny…..if others do it……not so much! I try think most people feel the same. Fair? Rational? Probably not but there it is!
DeleteYes I agree
DeleteSounds like the kind of thing one hears from someone who's a bit sozzled, which can make it forgivable when just between two. But in front of a LOT of others - and where you're just supposed to 'laugh it off' - really crosses the line. I hope the others recognised your true and justifiable feelings even if you managed to keep them hidden. We feel for you.
ReplyDeleteNo drinks involved raymondo
DeleteThis post really isn’t about him. It was a silly rude lapse on his part. Not I’m interested in my own defence mechanisms and my own view of myself
Humour doesn’t always have to diffuse criticism ..( which it does) it’s a mechanism to have people warm to you
People who comment on weight, or any appearance , are stupid and cruel. Your jokes about yourself, [though I found them hard to understand at first] do not in any way give Brian the right to be nasty.
DeleteI found the whole thing nasty, horrible, showing a lack of respect and not coming from a friend. That’s just my view. You deserve better and are worth a billion, trillion Brian’s. Hugs, Noreen
ReplyDeleteI would never ever comment about someone’s weight in that way .
DeleteThat was an unkind thing for him to do and it would change my feeings toward the person who said it. I know we are all works in progress but some shortcomings are more acceptable than others, and unkindness is where I draw a hard line. In solidarity with you, John xx
ReplyDeleteHis background is the police where banter walks a tightrope
DeleteSorry not sorry, in your (cheap or expensive) shoes, l would have just had to come back with a withering retort. I was recently out in company and joined in with a small group of people as l wanted to ask the only one l know about some matter she had knowledge of.
ReplyDeleteSome bloke in the said group said something like ' you didn't have to dash over with an excuse just to be in my company ' and everybody laughed. I replied with ' don't kid yourself mate,,you're hardly Brad Pitt are you?' and everybody laughed again, except him. Job done, next. Cannot abide bullies or people making a cheap laugh at another one for no reason. Gotta take them down! Tess x
I’m usually pretty good with a reply but this one stung
DeletePut of order and rude
ReplyDeletePerhaps he's jealous of your ability to get along with others. Some people have no personality and are hurt they don't have the same kind of comradery as you may have, so lashing out about something that is obvious, makes them feel the center of attention. I don't mean to imply that you are overweight. How would I know? And, yes, damnit, I am overweight. But I'm still cute and witty. Just ask my husband. Ranee (MN) USA
ReplyDeleteI’ve always battled with my weight Rae
DeleteEver since I hit my 40s
It’s something I know I need to address promptly now
Hence this blog entry
Who's Brian? ;) I do love your wit and wisdom , your soft heart and wonderful love of life. Gemma's Person/B
ReplyDeleteHe wasn’t funny, he was a cruel dick! He’s lucky you take such a kind and loving view of his reprehensible behavior.
ReplyDeleteI can totally see how that would feel hurtful. It's possible that, as others have said, he's aware you make comments about your own weight and therefore felt it was "fair game" -- but he should also be wise enough to know that you can make those comments, but others can't.
ReplyDeleteHe’s not read the blog , but perhaps my jokey nature gives him some sort of permission
DeleteMaybe I give people permission by doing it first
Because of my limited exercise ability, and fondness for good food, my weight has become an issue with me, though not with my friends or kids. But, it has made me sensitive to how I think people perceive me...for decades I was fit and active, now...a bit too much podge. So I'm very aware of what people think of my appearance. So far, I've not had your unfortunate experience, but I think you handled it well externally. Things like this take a bit of time to shake off.
ReplyDeleteCheers, my friend.
Thank you for this
DeleteI think you are right
And that perception hurts
Thank you everyone for you comments
ReplyDeleteMy acquaintance and his comment isn’t the issue here
My weight and my relationship with it and the use of humour I have to diffuse attention and to garnish favour
Around it, is the issue
If his comment isn't the issue why on earth have you made such a big thing about it? To encourage your readers to call him a "cruel dick" etc?
DeleteThe only issue is that you're overweight and feeling sensitive about it, your intended Christmas costume didn't fit and you resorted to being the jokey "fat bastard" then a comment upset you because it was true.
What a ridiculous post and the ensuing comments. You've encouraged readers to rail against a man who made a comment that hurt your feelings, turning the blame onto him when it's you who has gained the weight that's made you unhappy. Get a grip, apologise for your behaviour and grow up! Is this the sort of thing they're teaching on your course? You've come out with some ridiculous stuff since you started it!
Thats exactly what john HAS NOT DONE time and again he has balanced this arguement and has turned this blog into a self reflection
DeleteAnon you need some psychotberapy but as you have no self knowledge and understanding you wont understand this
GO SPEND YOUR TIME DOING SOMETHING MORE CONSTRUCTIVE!
Keith
Xx
Oh anon what a nasty damaged seft rigious woman are you!!°°°°
DeleteRespect for your self insight…one of the many reasons I read your blog.
ReplyDeleteWish I could have thought of a better comment
I believe some people like to find something - anything to upset someone else they feel threatened hi-tech and/,_ ,__,_ ,_,__,_ , , .,., ., .,. , . , ., , . , . , .. ,. ., ., . ,. ,., . , . . ., . , . , .., ,. , ., ., ., , . , .., .. , ., ., to feel better about themselves -They have placed themselves on their own pedestal and want to reign and remain on their own s*** ole` x 🚽
ReplyDeleteSorry - I don't know what happened there - As I was saying -If they feel threatened by someone for any reason - they act in a cruel manner x
DeleteFlis I hope its not you playing ganes here
DeleteThe dots that interrupted my message may have been caused by several cracks on my screen x
DeleteHow naive do you think we are?
DeleteWhy would I lie about cracks
DeleteRule number one - don't comment on anyone's body.
ReplyDeleteUnless there is an alien bursting out of it and then you might want to point and scream.
Such a simple rule. And when people violate it they show you exactly who they are.
I laughed out loud when I read that!!
DeleteTina in west oz We're a social species. We feel social pain as physical pain, sometimes like an electric shock. It's normal to be hurt by unfairness. Be kind to yourself. Perhaps a gentle word in his shell-like.
ReplyDeleteI once had a friend like that. He's dead now and I don't miss him.
ReplyDeleteWe think you're wonderful. Don't let one silly chaps thoughtless comment worry you.
ReplyDeleteBrian was very wrong to take pot shots at your appearance just to make a joke. I'm of the mind that if it's not your bod keep your trap shut. Someone once told me that if you hammer nails into a fence and then remove them the holes still remain. That is an analogy for thoughtless inappropriate comments once said they are never forgotten and sometimes never forgiven. I'm like you John carrying a few extra pounds that I don't like so make fun of myself... I should have kept my mouth shut. I tested positive for Covid earlier in the week and have no appetite what soever so am shedding weight... which is welcome but for the wrong reasons. Chin up your introspection is to be commended. You'll work out your reasons and when you do it will all fall into place.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
I grew up in a home where you had to have thick skin. I will feel hurt now when criticized but feel I deserved it and brought in on myself and have nobody else to blame. Its how I've been conditioned to think. 😞
ReplyDeleteOne of the most useful and true quotes I know is from the developmental psychologist David Elkind. Paraphrased it's that children and adults think differently but have the same feelings. So don't expect children to think like adults, and don't expect adults not to have the same sensitivities they had as children. It's been my guide to getting along with children and adults. Inside every grown up is a vulnerable child. Including ourselves. Respect that child in others, and take good care of the hurt child in yourself. Especially when the hurtfulness takes you unawares.
ReplyDeleteTina in west oz, this is lovely. Xxx
DeleteOh dear. People often say things without thinking, I'm sure he didn't mean it to hurt.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHave read through the comments and some are so insightful and helpful that I don't know what I could add. Except that in the end banter is sometimes on the borderline of being hurtful according to who is speaking, in front of what company, and the mood of the other person.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you are self deprecating about your weight because you are struggling to change it but are unhappy with it. So it's a kind of pre empting behaviour to protect yourself and "deal" with it. Also we all are sometimes just feeling more down and vulnerable, and at those times a clumsy comment can really hurt. Saying it in front of a group of people changes the banter quite a bit from if it had been just the two of you. I don't feel that by joking about yourself you are inviting that from someone and would hope they knew and liked me enough to know it might be hurtful.
I wouldn't be surprised if someone hasn't already said something to him and hopefully he's reflecting on what he did - and hopefully will be feeling bloody awful about it. One can hope.
ReplyDeleteHis partner was stood next to him
DeleteMaybe he is just so relaxed with you that he thought he could speak honestly. As a mate might say here, "You've stacked on a bit mate". Or my preferred term, "You are looking very prosperous".
ReplyDeleteI guess stating the obvious is impolite but I wouldn't feel too much hurt.
Really?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChrist! 126 comments already! In my opinion, making public comments about weight is as wrong and/or insensitive as making comments about disability, red hair, baldness, tallness or shortness, colour, spottiness, glasses etc.. Or am I being "woke"?
ReplyDeleteWoke or not in my opinion you are absolutely right!
DeleteAmen, I do too
DeleteI'm one of those who, on being mentally hurt, gets paralysed speechless for minutes on end. But because I keep dwelling on it, after I've recovered I do come up with an appropriately blistering response - but by then it's always too late, everyone else having moved on.
ReplyDeleteOh Raymondo we all are just like you , but we like to think we throw the zinger back
DeleteIt’s 3:18am in San Francisco. Pondering life myself. While the night is dark and gloomy I’m feeling a revival is about to unfurl.
ReplyDeleteSounds intriguing , I’d like to hear more
DeleteI know several retired cops and because of the awful things they saw on the job, used what they thought was humour to let loose and forget for awhile. I think Brian was poorly brought up and was not told “ if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing.” When I was 50ish I was running and very fit, then had an accident in the boat where I tore ligaments in my foot and was in a cast for a very long time and by the time I could walk properly again I had gained 90 pounds. It was all due to no exercise. I have not been able to shake those pounds but no one has ever made a remark about it. If they had,I know that I would have been very hurt. I too am a very sensitive person but most people wouldn’t know that. I hope you can shake it off and put it down to ignorance on Brians part. Hugs from Toronto. Gigi
ReplyDeleteCops and nurses share the same humour
ReplyDeleteI never comment on others appearance as mine is far from perfect. It was a thoughtless thing to do, I think you're just lovely John.
ReplyDeleteSo wrong of him to comment even if was meant as banter and his old enough to know better.
ReplyDeleteNext time I saw him I would remind him of manners and his hurtful comment.
Irene
John GOING GENTLY
ReplyDeleteBrian is a friend
His comments were not intended to be rude
They JUST caught me unawares
And it felt more paibful because they came from someone i like
A bit like being told offby a favourite auntie
I am sorry for the more defensive comments here
Brian is a decent bloke
Jihn xx
In retrospect I’m sorry too, I’m sorry I took things so seriously
DeleteXO
Delete