Sausages and water don’t mix

 

Well the 6 quid paddling pool has been a bit of a disaster.
In an effort to entice the dogs into it on one of the hottest days of the year, I emptied twenty cocktail sausages into it all of which sank to the bottom of the pool
Roger looked as me as though I was mad. 
Mary walked off 
And Dorothy hurled herself in with gay abandon with her mouth open like a pelican.
Ten sausages in, I realised that she wasn’t able to hold her breath and despite effectively drowning in four inches of water, I managed to drag her out with the eleventh sausage firmly between her lips.
A few firm slaps and several pints of water poured forth and after she took a couple of big breaths she was ready for more.
I plucked the sausages from the pool and gave them to her
Sausages and water 
And bulldogs
don’t mix

63 comments:

  1. The pleasant vision of three dogs cooling in an inflatable pool, drinking martinis and chatting about bones was so different from what transpired in reality.

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  2. Replies
    1. I live in one crazy bitch world

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    2. Anonymous11:19 pm

      No you don’t john, you live in a normal, slightly lonely world that thank goodness you make the most out of..
      You inspire me

      Keith
      Xx

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    3. Thank u Keith , I will take that as a compliment

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  3. Anonymous8:58 am

    Scary and funny at the same time. At least you can dabble your feet in the pool whilst sipping a sherry. Jan in Castle Gresley

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  4. Yorkshire Liz10:11 am

    Oh, that made my day! Isn't dog ownership a wonderful life lesson? No, sausages and water do not mix. And yet....The pool survived?

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  5. Not the brightest bulb in the bunch, but so cute.

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    Replies
    1. Me or her?
      Thank god Roger didn’t go for it, he’s really dim

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  6. I expect if you put a large ice cream container of water outside sans sausages, there would be a line up to get wet.

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  7. I know I shouldn't, but I'm laughing out loud at the image. Glad Dorothy survived her ordeal. A learning curve for both of you! xx

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  8. "like a pelican" was the bit that got me lol The things we do for our animals...........

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    Replies
    1. Thank god I didn’t buy the 50 sausage bumper pack

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  9. Anonymous11:55 am

    Thanks for the morning laugh! Jackie

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  10. A failed experiment, but worth a try right? How about maybe a sprinkler? Our one dog Lilith loved it.

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  11. And yet it didn’t stop Dorothy from trying.

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    Replies
    1. When foods involved ? She would have dived into an Olympic swimming pool

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    2. and drowned with a full belly, I imagine.

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  12. Anonymous12:37 pm

    That is just so funny!
    Alison in Wales x

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  13. Sounds like the cliché, "Never a dull moment..."!

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  14. This could only happen at your cottage!😄😮

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    Replies
    1. A lot worse has happened believe me x

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  15. Barbara Anne1:26 pm

    Ah, a life lesson there! Glad you were there to rescue Dorothy as she might not have come up as long as there were sausages below.
    Ta for the morning chuckle and visual.

    Hugs!

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  16. weaver2:42 pm

    Oh John this made me laugh but of course it was serious really- I had a pug many years aago and he had the same problems with breathing.

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    Replies
    1. Like pugs bulldogs have mouths like gin traps and no lips…I should have known better

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  17. Oh well you tried, lesson learned. Maybe just forget the sausages and keep the pool.

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  18. That's pretty funny! I see, Dorothy managed to eat all the sausages despite the water. At the park today, I used the public water hose to wet down my dog. My friends did the same. It is sizzling hot in Massachusetts too.

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    Replies
    1. No there were around 9 left
      I fed them to her afterwards in lieu of a defibrillator

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  19. Anonymous4:03 pm

    Laughing out loud here. What fun you have and make for the rest of us. Thank you. Noreen

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  20. Anonymous4:06 pm

    Dorothy is so lucky you are a nurse!

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  21. What's a little thing like drowning when there are sausages to be had!

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    Replies
    1. I can empathise I nearly drowned in a swimming pool in Lloret when I was 10 but no sausages were involved

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  22. Thank you for this! I really am laughing out loud.

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    Replies
    1. I was too after she threw up several litres of swimming pool water

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  23. Anonymous7:30 pm

    There's a children's story, where after ever disaster, the child says, "That was not a good idea."

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  24. "or die trying" comes to mind. Thank goodness you were on top of it.

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    Replies
    1. She went into the water like a snapping whale

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    2. Anonymous11:17 pm

      That made me laugh

      Keith

      Xx

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  25. Anonymous10:19 pm

    Will I be classified as a troll if I say that sometimes, John, you're a bit of an eegit (as we say in Scotland), derived from the English "idiot"? (Andrew S.) Said with affection though, and a smidgeon of admiration (for I am often a bit of an eegit myself).

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    Replies
    1. Lol I’ve been called worse

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    2. Anonymous11:18 pm

      If said with affection me thinks mr gray would love it

      Keith

      Xx

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  26. I’m not as bright as I make out

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  27. I'm of a mind like Ms. Moon.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes