Date


I’m working all weekend so will fill some of the space before hand doing a few nice things.
Coffee with a friend tomorrow morning , breakfast with another ( that was this morning) Dinner out with my counselling friends tomorrow evening and an on line film course on zoom Friday morning. 
Friday afternoon I’m on that date I told you about a few weeks ago.

I’ve changed my whole view on dating, I think. 
I’m not cynical 
But I’m realistic…..and dating will only occur in a local watering hole “ for coffee”
“ coffee” means you can make a run for it if things are not quite what you hoped for.
No investment in dinner. No long drives, no feeling trapped 
And no bullshit
Over coffee I can smell bullshit a mile away.


85 comments:

  1. Yes, coffee dates are best for first dates. I hope it's a good one!

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    Replies
    1. I’m a big chatter so , if things go quiet , it will be the time to get off home

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  2. Let's hope the air is sweet and clear.

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  3. I hope the coffee date becomes, at the very least, a lasting friendship. He seemed nice and genuine from what you told us. I hope neither of you feels the need to run for it! xx

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  4. Enjoy all you have planned John (and the date) xxx

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  5. The dating plan is a good one and should be utilized by everyone. Caution in these strange times is never unwarranted. Plus it allows one the opportunity to 'weed out' poor matches without a big investment of time or money. Good luck though.

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    1. Debby, the date will be a date, is a date, I’m not getting stressed or excited about it.
      Underneath I think I’m destined not to be a spinster of the parish.
      I’m ok with that

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  6. Going to a coffee shop for a first date is perf.
    First dates should take place either surrounded by friendly faces or in very public places with a clear way out. One never knows...

    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. There sounds a person who has a story
      I’d love to hear it xx

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    2. Hahahah
      Yes!! I should write about it!

      XOXO

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  7. Coffee sounds good, and sensible.

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  8. Anonymous1:27 pm

    I hope the date goes really well. I sat and laughed tho’ at your last line! Jean in Winnipeg.

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    Replies
    1. I’ve booked a table at Bryn williams , so I know the coffee will be good

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  9. Coffee sounds perfect! I hope that you are pleasantly surprised. I wish you well.

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  10. Anonymous2:03 pm

    Please give your top tips for avoiding bullshit? What do you look out for?

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    Replies
    1. Same as I do detecting false comments by trolls here

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    2. Anonymous2:16 pm

      Can you give example ?

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    3. Well done, John!

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    4. Shakes head, she thinks I’m an idiot

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    5. I just needed a "thumb up" to your comments... couldn't find one LoL... so this is it! Bravo.

      Jo in Auckland

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  11. Barbara anne2:31 pm

    Delightful plans for the next few days and a brilliant outlook on dating. Yep, wise and protective, as it should be.

    Hugs!

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  12. Traveller2:54 pm

    I think a coffee for a first date (hate that word) is perfect.

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    Replies
    1. What else shall be refer to it… just coffee I guess

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  13. Oh yes, definitely coffee on the first date! There's nothing worse than sitting through a meal with someone you know you're never going to see again.

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    Replies
    1. I’ve only done it once
      And NEVER AGAIN

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    2. LOL -- yeah, me too!

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  14. Anonymous3:33 pm

    You sound as it you've already decided he's not for you. Shame, he could have been The One.

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    Replies
    1. I’ve decided No such thing

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    2. Anonymous7:19 pm

      I’m thinking he could be the one, and I think it will happen slowly.

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    3. Anonymous7:40 pm

      I’m envious mr Grey
      I live too far away

      Keith x

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    4. Lol send me a photo

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    5. Anonymous10:20 pm

      Lordy

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  15. Having an escape plan is good. You do not want to waste time on something that is just not working. My escape plan was to state: I am looking for a father for my infant at home. Some ran faster than I thought even possible!

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    Replies
    1. Lol….I think I’m too gobby, I’ll just say , nice to have met you but no

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  16. Plans for the next few days sound wonderful... enjoy!

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    Replies
    1. It’s nice to have a few nice things planned
      I’m a big believer of planning

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  17. Anonymous3:43 pm

    If nothing else, the coffee will be good. He could be the one or not, you won’t know if you don’t give it a go. Gigi

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    Replies
    1. The cakes at Bryn Willians are tasty but small
      The coffee is good

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  18. weaver3:47 pm

    Hope every one of them is a plus.

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    Replies
    1. Just doing them, being busy, is a plus dear pat x

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  19. Anonymous4:27 pm

    The coffee date makes sense and I hope it works out well for you both x
    Alison in Wales x

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    Replies
    1. I’m not thinking too much about things Alison, it’s always flattering to be asked out for coffee, and rather old fashioned ( in the gay community quite rare too lol )

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  20. It will be nice if he turns into a new friend, if nothing further. Have fun.

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    Replies
    1. Yes GZ made the same point , and it’s a good one.

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  21. Coffee dates are good for meeting all sorts of people, whatever the prospects!! Hope you are least gain a good friend xx

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    Replies
    1. Well said and a good point made . No expectations no silliness

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  22. Anonymous5:02 pm

    I hope you two enjoy each other's company. I agree that coffee dates are best and think that if more dates ensue, they should also be set up so if one wants to leave early, it's not an issue. I recall very specifically one man I dated who I originally thought, NO WAY. By about the 4th meeting I was intrigued and we had a long relationship before a friendly parting so that he could leave town to get a PhD.
    Nina

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    Replies
    1. Well said Nina, my first meeting with the Prof, initially I thought he was rather pompous

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    2. Anonymous1:02 am

      27 years with my guy and first impressions were not good. My sis told me about him and said we'd be great but I was unsurprisingly wary, then sis and I were out one night in the car and she looked out the window and said hey it's him! He's pulled up right next to my sister in the passenger seat of our car on his motorbike at some lights. She's waving madly and he gives one stern nod of the helmet and away. I was like, huh, he's a snob. Well, turns out he couldn't see who she was and just thought it was a crazy person. :D Then 1st visit to his house and he was so fussy about the kitchen knives and I nearly went nope, he's too particular for this scruff, but that turned out to be his housemate's fancy knives and he was the pedant not my guy.

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    3. Anonymous1:03 am

      Oops, Tina in West Oz. And yes sis was right. :)

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  23. Meeting for coffee is an excellent way to have a 1st date, far far better than a longer time, like a meal, a long time if things get awkward. Hope it works out.

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    1. I made that mistake once before and 2 hours plus later I was still there bored off my tits by a self obsessed , rude character who never asked me one question

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    2. And before the troll can swoop, I did infact ask him several questions , too many in fact

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  24. Make sure you tuck your shirt in before the date, comb your hair and check that you have zipped your flyhole up. A quick spray of "L'Eau de Ponce" might not come amiss either.

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    1. L’Eau de ponce???? Oh dear you get worse

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    2. Anonymous9:44 pm

      "Ponce" really??, now thats offensive!!!!

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  25. I agree that a coffee date is the best way to start.

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    Replies
    1. The positive aspect is that another friend could be made..the negatives ? An hour and a half I will never get back

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  26. Anonymous6:31 pm

    Maybe dinner will come as you are enthralled by his presence. Did you giggle just a bit or guffaw at that?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:33 pm

      Gemma's person above , not anon.
      You have your keys your own car. You are set to leave whenever the fancy strikes you.

      Delete
  27. Traveller6:55 pm

    Meant to say on your previous post, you have a very impressive obelisk

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  28. Yorkshire Liz7:07 pm

    Honestly, John, I don't know how you find enough hours in the day. Enjoy your date for what it is, whatever it is. Hope for the best etc. The older we get, the more refreshing is a new aquaintance met with a lot of interest but no overarching expectation or unreal level of expectation. Coffee is perfect, either as a start or a cul de sac. You deserve the best, just starting with the coffee.

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  29. Anonymous9:21 pm

    wear clean underwear, just in case....

    ron

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    Replies
    1. Lol ones without holes ?

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    2. Anonymous12:25 am

      with holes. easier to rip off for dramatic

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    3. Anonymous12:29 am

      ...dramatic reveal

      ron

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  30. Good luck. You make me realise how happy I am not to have to do 'dating' any more.

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  31. A chat over coffee sounds a great idea. Hope you both enjoy each others company and anything more which may develop is a bonus.

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  32. Anonymous7:54 am

    Wishing you a happy time with all your plans! Sharon x

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  33. Anonymous9:36 am

    Wishing you all the very best. Good luck and every happiness! Janxx

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  34. Dating. Something I have finally started hoping for more but thinking about less. At my age it is, while not impossible, pretty unlikely. Perfect first date for me would be just sitting and talking and trying to figure out if he was being honest. And knowing where the exit was if I needed to make a quick get away. Much like yours I think.

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    Replies
    1. Yes I feel the same ….unlikely but hey let’s see

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    My thoughts are with fellow blogger Yael tonight
    As the bombs reign on Israel in this fruitless, mad stupid conflict

    I’m tired after a full day in college and I’m off to bed early before another 12 hour shift tomorrow
    Bake Off then bed.

    ReplyDelete

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