Vigils

 


I’ve seen hundreds of vigils in my time
Perhaps even a thousand .
One sticks in my mind more than any other and it was in Sheffield in the 1990s 
It was with a young man in his twenties. 
A slight, Bonny lad with pink cheeks and brown hair. 
He was unconscious and sadly brain dead and he had a mother and many brothers who were sitting with him in shifts.
I was working nights and it was very dark and very cold  as Sheffield winters often are,
And he was in a dark side room with his mother who was sat in a chair and a younger brother who was asleep on a mattress on the floor. 
Now, because the mother hadn’t slept, one of the sons had fashioned a paper shade cover over each lens of her spare glasses, so by slipping them on she could effectively shut out the light of my inquiring pen torch when I came to assess her son in the middle of the night.
What we hadn’t factored in however was the youngest son’s sense of humour ,as unbeknownst to all, he had drawn two massive staring eyes on the paper with a felt pen. So when I shone my pen torch over at the woman in the chair, two massive bloodshot eyes were staring out at me in the dark!!!

My scream and subsequent swearing woke mother and son, and most of the ward up 




42 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne11:13 pm

    Odd and interesting how some folks cope with seious and sd situations.. I';d have likely jumped out of my skin at seeing that, too.
    Memorable, indeed.

    Hugs!

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  2. One New Years Eve I walked into the room of a dying patient to check on her and her family. I thought the family were staring at me intently but put it down to the strain of the situation. Not until I had left the room did I remember I had replaced my cap with a tiaria proclaiming Happy New Year to give the rest of the patients a laugh. I was mortified.

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  3. That is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. Your scream of fright had to be really something else to awaken the ward. Very, very funny!

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  4. Once again you've painted a scene vividly with an economical use of words. You're a wonderfully natural storyteller. Thanks for the giggle & grin this evening. 😊

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  5. Clearly the younger son was trying to cope with the grim vigil using humour. I hope they all appreciated that and weren't upset further.

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  6. You're definitely a shrieker. I wonder if.....x

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  7. Not the same at all, but a couple weeks ago, we had a man in to do some work. He was a huge guy, tall, and bulky. I walked in to tell him that we were going to leave the house, that his check was on the kitchen table, and to simply lock up when he was done. He was running a piece of equipment. His back was towards me. I opened my mouth to call to him at the same time that he turned around. He jumped and screamed. It was so unexpected that I jumped and screamed as well. We were a pair.

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  8. Anonymous2:20 am

    I have no words! GG

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  9. That made me smile. Thank you I needed that.

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  10. Another gem, thanks John!

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  11. Not surprised you screamed! When I saw the picture I thought it was of a very tired person trying to stay awake during their vigil :)

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  12. Sad, poignant and funny all in one short post. You really need to write that book! xx

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  13. I'm thinking that the son on the floor did it because it was the kind of thing that would have made the dying son laugh. A wonderfully told story. xx

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  14. That was so funny! I can just imagine the calamity!

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  15. That's always welcome... not the screaming, the humor.

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  16. Anonymous8:59 am

    Lol, love this, you as so many have said are a great story teller. Noreen

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  17. I have people in my family who would have done this. The shrieking nurse episode would have given the family something lighthearted to talk about at the funeral!

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    Replies
    1. I agree Veg artist, humour at such terrible times, especially from one of the family, is a release mechanism. His family probably laugh and cry at the incident even now. xx

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    2. My late father-in-law did one of those "If you're hearing this, I'm dead" tapes. It didn't half give us all a shock when his voice came booming out in the Crem! Once we got over the shock we were all laughing our heads off.

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  18. Anonymous10:20 am

    I am sure the youngest son has told this story as well! There are many ways families cope while in tragic circumstances. I once went into a dying patients room to check on him. The family had pulled the curtain around him and seemed a bit reluctant for me to check on him. As I got close to him I was shocked to see several leeches attached to his body! His wife was holding a bucket with more leeches in it. As I had never been in this situation before I just withdrew from the room. I called the doctor and informed him. He thought for a few minutes and said that this gentleman would soon be gone from this world and if the leeches made his family feel they were doing all they could to help him let them carry on. The gentleman died a few hours later. The wife gently squeezed my hand and indicated she was grateful I had left them alone. This was about 50 years ago. There are a million nursing stories. No one tells them like you do John. Thank you! Rita in Austin

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  19. Now that was unexpected lol.
    I scream at him he slightest "surprise" and have embarrassed myself many times.

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  20. I hope when my times comes, I can leave them laughing.

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  21. Nowadays, with a cell phone, you could have snapped a real picture to share with us!

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  22. Humour helps both sides.
    When my Mountain Man was dying in hospital he eventually agreed to tell his family. When they visited he said to them it was just like being at home with them, which made them happy. After they had gone, he said with a chuckle, it was just like that because they were standing near the foot of his bed, bickering across it.....

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  23. I found the son’s actions incredibly poignant as well as funny , and I am still confounded when I witness such “ strength of character” in little situations such as the one I described.
    In 41 years nursing I have seen it all, the beautiful moments when people shine during the most difficult of moments and the sad when people crumble because of them .
    It’s a privilege and last nights blog was trigged by watching a very ordinary family cope with extraordinary events.
    We should celebrate these moments
    Not everyone is privy to them

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  24. I love that kid!

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  25. Anonymous2:38 pm

    Why did you shine the torch in the mother's face? I don't get it. The family had a family joke, I seriously think it was private and I do not feel comfortable with you sharing it. Call me old fashioned, but it doesn't seem right. Misha

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    1. Anonymous2:57 pm

      It is excelkent nursing practice to regulary check on your patient Using a pen torch allows the nurse to do so without putting on room lights .
      It obviously was a joke which was incorporating and including the nurses as the family knew they were being observed
      Misha i think you are choosing to argie where there is no foudation to do so.
      I have been a nurse 31 years abd such stories are common
      Kelly

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    2. Anonymous3:19 pm

      I was not questionning the care of the patient. I am nor arguing. I was saying as a long time reader that personally I saw it as a family joke not for sharing. Please leave John to deal with his own blog comments. He is just about capable. Misha

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    3. Anonymous4:12 pm

      No .you infer that john did something wrong and im telling you that he didnt by sharing the story. . The joke was played AND SHARED on the mother AND the Nurses
      Kelly

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    4. Anonymous4:19 pm

      Stop shouting. For goodness sake I made a comment to John that I may be old-fashioned etc. Please stop it. Misha.

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    5. Misha, perhaps if you knew more of the story you would not have questioned about it being a private joke and if u knew about nursing like Kelly does, you wouldn’t of mentioned me shining a pen torch into the face of a relative
      The family was large and the vigil lasted weeks not days. The boys in the family had a playful relationship not only with the nurses ( I remember one rembuncious water fight between a couple using bladder syringes) but also and more poignantly with the patients , mostly young men with paralysis who were newly mobile in their wheelchairs.
      One young brother in particular would ride around alongside the patients and even accompanied them to gym .
      A vigil lasting weeks can be an incredibly boring event to cope with as well as being emotionally heartbreaking. Levity and fun had a place in the way the family coped with such a terrible time.

      I was very proud how we as a team supported that patient and his family

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    6. Anonymous5:02 pm

      Thank you. Please do not let others handle your comments for you. You send out bad comment handling, very inconsistent. I will leave your blog to you and not comment again. First and last. My view on the sharing of the story story has not changed. Misha

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    7. Oh dear.
      Well I wish you well and I’m glad you will not be returning

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    8. Anonymous8:08 pm

      Apologies john I didn’t mean to upset anyone
      Kelly

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    9. No. Need to apologise Kelly , thank you for trying to clarify things x

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    10. Anonymous8:10 am

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    11. Verity8:41 am

      We all would be happier I am certain if you kept your bile to yourself anon.

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    12. Charming.

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  26. Nice story, John.
    Hope you have a nice weekend! xx

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  27. Thanks for the laugh, John. I really needed it! Too funny. -Kate

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  28. Nurses are only human. People forget that. Also at night everything seems more emotional. That would've shared me to death.

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