So What Happens Now?


Last night the tutor of the level 4 Counselling course FaceTimed our group to discuss if we wanted to move forward in our training come September. 
She was pragmatic, cheerful and helpful 
And She has given me quite a lot to think about today.
A day that I’m feeling rough after my fourth covid jab.

I’m 61 this year. 
And I’m finding the rigours of nursing just a bit too much after forty years in the role.
I have a mortgage to pay for until I am 70 and bills and expenditure is on the rise.
And so I needed a plan.
And that plan, originally, was to retrain to be a qualified counsellor.
There is an outlay for this endeavour, which I may or not get help with, 
There is the academic challenge too , as well, as I know I have to work hard to get on top of all things Uni.
But then you add to this all of the doubts of self belief 
Can I cut the mustard as a counsellor? 
Can I do it?

The “ new” tutor clearly outlined the “ checks” in the course that ensure you are fit for the role.
In all of the 100 hours skills practice I have to do with real clients I have to pay for intensive clinical supervision every month. More if I require it. 
This supervision is not cheap and is an incredibly stringent safety check of my potential competence 
Added to this in year one and two I will have to pay for my own counselling experience.
A journey which is necessary if you are to practice 
But a journey which has its own worries and it’s own challenges.

There are two of us, in my present group that are older students.
Both of us on journeys we didn’t expect in our sixties.
We looked at each other at the end of last night’s tutorial and smiled gently together

“ Are you going for it ?” Donna mouthed
I’m going to try” I mouthed back

And try I will

95 comments:

  1. If it's the practical thing for you to do and required to pay for the house, then it sounds like a good idea. As far as you being fit for the role, you’ve been doing this for much of your adult life. You’ve got it.

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  2. Good on you John.

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  3. Weaver11:14 am

    John - you are already half way there with your connections to village life. People like you; you make friends and you listen to problems. As for being too old. Nonsense - you have a good brain. It might be a bit rusty for bits involving Uni and essays but my goodness me you write a good post every day (I am always telling you it is time to get round to putting your posts into a book.) You have all the experience you need. This is no time for self-doubt - go with it. x

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    1. Thank you pat …it’s a big step, I’m just being “ me”; and thrashing it around

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  4. Ask yourself if you really want to be a counsellor. You seem hesitant. It is a lot of money. Is there anything else you could do to have an income - maybe something less stressful and more fun! You need to have more joyfulness in your life - we all do! Having said all that, if it is something you are really committed to then don't 'try' just 'do'! x

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    1. The counselling will take over from nursing as my job, I suspect given the support and physicality , tge stressors in counselling willbe less.
      I get the point about joyfullness , and for the past four years I’ve worked hard to to tick that box

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  5. I can only echo what Mitchell has said. You've been listening to and counselling people all your nursing life. If the financial side makes sense to you, go for it. xx

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  6. Anonymous11:46 am

    I think you will make a wonderful counselor, you have a rich experience of life to draw on. I do hope you can find the money to continue. Can you see clients while having your supervision/ counseling.? It will be a lot less physically draining for you as well. Best of luck, noreen

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    1. I have to see clients for 100 hours under supervision before I can practice as a full counsellor under supervision

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  7. Are there any grants available from the government for you? If there is a doubt, what would your plan b and c be? I think you would be excellent.
    Barb

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    1. There may be some local help , affable despot jason is helping with that

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  8. Mary in Peterborough12:06 pm

    You have an extraordinary ability to connect with people. You have such rich life experiences, and you are very intelligent and empathetic.
    And in this new career, you will connect with & enrich the lives of even more people. Go for it, John. You will be wonderful in this new role.

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  9. Traveller12:15 pm

    I know you will hate this idea but, sod it, will say it anyway.

    Have you thought about a go fund me? Many people here have been banging on about the fact that you should write a book..which you have in effect by writing this blog.

    I would think several of your followers would be prepared to make a contribution.

    Told you, you’d hate the idea!

    As to self doubt. You can manage 12 hours nursing shifts. As Pat says you make friends and listen to people - you are an empath. Bra straps my lad, hook them up and get on with it.

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    1. Shelly Williams8:18 pm

      I think the go fund me page is a really good idea . I think you might be pleasantly surprised by the many people who would be happy to contribute. You would be a great counsellor x

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    2. See below but thank you, I would never consider this at all

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  10. I hate the idea but thank you…funnily enough I’m hoping to get a go fund me page up and running for the hall ….

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  11. You can, and you will be really good at it. There is a journey of self discovery along the way, people that have done that say it really helped them, in preparing to help others.

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    1. Yes, the thought of more therapy and more introspection is challenging it itself

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  12. Anonymous12:53 pm

    I think it’s a perfect new project for you..although I don’t know you, I perceive you to be empathetic, insightful and able to cu to the bone. Go for it!

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    1. I think this comment is oh so right , a new start

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  13. I don't doubt your ability to do the role, but I would be sitting down with a very big piece of paper and working out, on the one side, how much this is all eventually going to add up to and, on the other, what you can expect to earn - and importantly, when you can reasonably expect that money will start coming in.
    I've been in this position. I seriously considered re-training when I was in my late thirties, for something that I would have loved to do when I was younger but just didn't have the opportunity. By the time I would have qualified I'd have spent a fortune, and been too old to have time to replace the money.

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    1. I’m only slightly hesitant as it’s only me financing me, I’ve got to have a life too, what’s the point otherwise

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  14. Anonymous1:08 pm

    Believe in yourself John and the money will come.
    Hasn't it always in the past and just when you've needed it most. I cannot think of anyone more suited to the role of counselling than you.
    Tighten you're Bra straps,and put on your big girls knickers .
    Positivity John ,Positivity.
    Tish in Norfolk

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  15. I think you will be a fantastic counselor. The rigors of coursework and associated practice work will be challenging but you can do it. I am aware of a woman doing a similar program in California (adventures of a grad girl blog) and she is working in the field and getting paid while getting supervision.

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    1. I will approach work to perhaps help with funding as I hope my client base will be from the hospice

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  16. John, you will be a very good counsellor from what I can see here. Go for it.

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  17. krayolakris1:45 pm

    It seems a natural transition into a new phase of your career given your life experiences, volunteerism and work. Go for it!

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  18. Good for you! I love people who never want to stop growing and learning. From everything I have observed about you, I think you will take it all very seriously and excel. And if you dont? At least you tried and didn't just sit there and shrivel away.

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    1. I’ve always been in awe of such people, I never thought I’d be sort of one of them

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  19. You'd need more than a 100 hours to sort my head out x

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  20. You can do it, John. I know you can. If you want to bad enough, you will.

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    1. I’ve never failed in anything I’ve embarked on my friend , with the sad execution of my marriage

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  21. Good for you, John -- that's the "can do" spirit!

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    1. Your unfailing support is so welcome my friend

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  22. Anonymous2:28 pm

    Have you thought about expanding some of your posts into essays and trying to get them published for a few pennies?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, and I’m not talented enough , I know that 😜

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  23. Anonymous3:16 pm

    Why not try one in Blogland too

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  24. Echoing what many have already said... with your life skills and natural empathy, you can do this!

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  25. oh not John...' try ' is not the answer... 'DO' is the appropriate answer...

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    1. No try is the answer , I may not be suited

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  26. Just a thought... Can some of your work with Samaritans help with your clinical requirements?

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    1. Not as a clinical placement but there are plenty of local organisations that Will

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  27. I have the sense that you were a great counsellor when you worked for The Samaritans and in spite of the money obstacles I hope you will keep going and get properly qualified.

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    1. The organisation taught me a great deal , their training is renown

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  28. I have spoken to several people who cannot speak to a Nhs councillor weekends when they have been desperate - Just a recorded message - Only option for them to go to A & E repeatedly x

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    1. Same in the psychiatric nursing area

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  29. Barbara Anne4:49 pm

    You have been a counsellor in one way or another for decades, John. It is 2nd nature to you because of who you are so this retraining endeavor fits you like a glove. You've got this.

    Hugs!

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    1. It’s a medium I feel comfortable in , but to be a good counsellor takes a great deal of work, I hope I’ve got it in me

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  30. Well, from what I know of you after following your blog for many years, I would think you'd be an excellent counsellor. You seem to have the empathy and insight to do the job well. The cost of training is a bit of a bugger though. I hope you can make the finances work.

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  31. Anonymous5:31 pm

    What happens if your supervisor thinks you are not up to scratch?

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    1. Well if that’s the case I would be reviewed by another supervisor and if they felt the same I would no longer continue

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  32. Anonymous5:36 pm

    John I got financial support from Hospice uk when I did my Pal Care degree age 59 ! They have various grants on their website . A counselling qualification might be seen as developing your pal care skills and you might get some funding through them . At 64 this year I fully understand how you feel . You don’t want to have to do extra work days to fund the course ! That would be exhausting. X Bernie

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    1. That’s an excellent suggestion Bernie , which I will follow up tomorrow..

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  33. Anonymous5:38 pm

    I’m going to throw an idea out: once you’re in the field, you could earn additional money by writing and editing professional papers or by training others. Maybe worth an explore? Bonnie in Minneapolis

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    1. I’m trying to balance out my time bonnie.
      I’m working 2-3 days a week . Counselling will be a full day in itself

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    2. I have to have days to see my clients and sprays for supervision too

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    3. Anonymous10:49 pm

      We can usually interpret your lack of proof reading, but "sprays for supervision" has me stumped. "Sprays"?

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    4. DAYS ☕

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  34. Just do it!
    Some people die aged 61 so you never know.

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    1. Yes, but I know myself Sue, I have throw everything around for discussion, albeit in my head

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  35. If you believe in yourself go for it. Obviously there is a need for the type of work you are seeking accreditation for. We have all asked ourselves, at some point in our lives, am I doing the right thing? You have a need to gain financial security. And you need the means to be able to help yourself as you have helped so many while working in the field of nursing and end of life care. What you have selflessly accomplished in and around your community says so much about you as a loving, caring, intelligent and able bodied man. Now, as I see it, it's time to stop being bull headed and let others help you. If you, or someone acting in your behalf, would setup a Go Fund Me account your good and faithful friends and followers here on this blog would surprise you with how much they care and believe in you. If a Go Fund Me account can save a man's farm, fulfill a dying childs wishes, send a family to Disney and bury the dead it sure as heck can send you to school and provide you the financial security you need to follow your dream of helping others. It's time to let us help you. Like we were told in the movie Field of Dreams if you build it they will come. John, you surely are a good and well deserving man and assistance will come.

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    1. I’m just bouncing ideas and thoughts about doing it..the course fees I’ve budgeted for but there are a lot of hidden extras such as thecounselling, supervision ( which is much more expensive) and insurance issues etc
      Everything has to be worked out

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  36. Anonymous7:26 pm

    There's a huge difference between setting up a Go Fund Me to fulfil a dying child's wishes and funding a healthy and employed adult's wish to take a university course. Especially when that adult lives a good life and has the means to pay.

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    1. Absolutely , that’s why I’d NEVER consider it

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    2. Traveller11:55 pm

      Feel I need to wade in here as I was the one to raise it. The reason I raised it is that friends support friends. My apologies John…didn’t mean to attract this Anon type comment.

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    3. No I’ve answered it xxx

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  37. Knowing you as little as I do, I'd still bet on you succeeding. Good luck, John.

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  38. Of course I have no doubt you COULD do it. You are compassionate and thoughtful and I think you'd make a fantastic counselor. But I get why you'd question the costs and effort involved at this stage of your life. In the end, only you will know the correct path to take!

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    1. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mull everything over

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  39. Anonymous9:57 pm

    37paddington:
    You will be a wonderful counselor. I have not a doubt in the world about that. And that Evita song used to be my jam. Another suitcase in another hall. So apt for life changing moments.

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  40. I faltered about 3/4 of the way through my chaplaincy course and thought I might as well chuck it in. I also had to do supervision but it was generously gifted to me.
    Other people's encouragement and faith in me was what inspired me to keep going.

    Hang in there, John. You will be so, so pleased when you have this achievement under your belt

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  41. Perhaps consider the "Go Fund Me " option as a cycle. People fund you, you qualify,then you "give back" your time and skills to people who could never afford funding for themselves but really need it and would benefit. Win win, if you can get over the attitude of opposition to accepting help you need....and a counselor could help you there!

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  42. That's a HUGE commitment, isn't it John. You will make a most effective counsellor, with such life experience and with such a perceptive, gentle manner. I hope you bounce back after the jab.

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  43. Blimey. And all that to listen to other people's problems!

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  44. It sounds like you will be juggling time, effort and finances during the training period. But it is a very positive step forward and I also have no doubt that you are a natural counsellor and will be very good at the role. Whatever you decide on I wish the best for you.

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  45. Anonymous9:10 am

    I feel for you John. I know you were in an excellent financial position once with a paid off house in Sheffield. As far as counselling goes, mine is in his seventies and he saved my life. Xx CurlyClub

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  46. Anonymous9:11 am

    Ps I’d contribute to a go fund me. We all have had at least a books equivalent from your lovely blog. I owe you xx curly Club

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  47. If considering it for financial reasons a cool rational cost-benefit analysis across the coming years might be a good idea, remembering to factor in when your state pension arrives and any other pensions. "Cool rational" is often not an easy approach to take though, I know.

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  48. Jan from Perth10:16 am

    Go for it, John: it suits you and you're capable for it...!

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  49. Remember what's happened in the past, when you really work towards something and give it your all you nearly always have a windfall or some help in one way or the other. Good things do come to good people.

    You will make an excellent counsellor, you've been in training for it your whole life. Now I think it's time to think positive and take each week and month as it comes.

    And of course you could always buckle down and write that book. ;-)

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    1. Anonymous2:58 pm

      Oh yes the windfalls....have you frittered those away on the many jaunts out and pretty ornaments and pictures?

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    2. And I’ve enjoyed both greatly

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    3. Anon. If I remember rightly John used them very wisely with things that were essential at the time, hopefully he did have enough over for ornaments and pictures too. Life is for living and enjoying wherever possible.

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  50. The writing style and experience of the author make the blog a valuable resource for readers of this blog. Thanks.

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  51. One of the toughest jobs around, indeed. Not trying is the only sure way to fail. I think you have it in you, and I think you do too, so do try to get it out.

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