I’m not Sticking My Arse In That!

 Roger has never seen snow before but his sweet dim nature precludes any negativity he may have for the cold stuff. 
Mary just gets on with it.
Dorothy finds it’s a total bore and is constipated. 
One look at a cold snowy path and she’s throwing back one of her “ You've got to be fucking kidding me“ looks.
She hasn’t opened her bowels since Friday.

Neighbours Mandy and Sailor John phoned last night to see if I was ok. I had seen them in Tesco last Wednesday where I indulged in a quick and much missed game of supermarket Sweep ( you know the one where I secretly fill their trolleys with useless items  without their knowledge) 
I had forgotten just how good at the game I was , when I walked towards them , ( unnoticed) and plonked a huge tim of pineapple rings on the top of their pile without even a eliciting a glance. 
Now that’s skill.

I’ve turned off The Archers omnibus this morning as David’s distress at Ben’s mental breakdown is a little too much to bear on a Sunday morning and the kitchen is quiet same for dog snores.
I’ve banked up the fire again, had a hot shower and changed my clothes
Bucket of coffee then essay writing.
Liver and onions for lunch with mash and gravy.

54 comments:

  1. I sympathise with Dorothy. Our downstairs loo is SO cold without the heating on that I'm holding out as long as possible. Goodness knows how people coped when they had to use a shed at the bottom of the garden.

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  2. Good morning John! I was wondering if when playing supermarket sweep, the unwanted items actually go through the till and get bought! I hope you have a good, productive essay writing session. x

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    1. No, the fun , is watching the victim “ find” the item
      Sometimes it’s just fun putting things in then retrieving them…the rules evolve

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    2. I like how the rules evolve!

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  3. Mmmm... You can't beat liver and onions - perhaps with a little bacon and rich, earthy gravy. Mashed potato and chopped cabbage too. Food of the gods.

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    1. I’ve just eaten it, with a little bacon …and peas

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  4. Thanks for the giggles. I can just picture Dorothy's face when she sees the snow. And I can imagine the conversation/argument between Mandy and John about which one of them put the pineapple in the trolley. Do you ever own up? xx

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    1. I did ….I stopped them two days later to fess up

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  5. I was following along happily until the liver and onions. I would often dog-sit for friends in Boston. A sheepdog and a Boston bull. The sheepdog, Heathcliff, would go out in any weather and I’ve have the job of cleaning her up. I’d open the front door of the tall brownstone and the Boston bull, Pembroke, would check the sky. If there was rain or snow, she turned around and went back inside. That dog had the most amazing control of her bodily functions. She’d wait days. Poor thing.

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    1. Do the Spanish cook liver much ?

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    2. I think there are plenty of liver specialties around Spain. Thankfully, I don’t see those dishes where I go. (Although I do enjoy paté and often find it on menus.)

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    3. Liver in brandy …flamed bloody lovely

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    4. Absolutely. BRANDY is lovely.

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  6. John, I'm hoping for a better week for you. Life is good, then it's bad, then it's good again. It seems you're made of the stuff that allows you to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

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    1. I’m hoping so too….I’ve finished my assignment which feels a positive

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  7. The Archers is unbelievable these days until it comes to suicidal young men public service issues.

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  8. You are very naughty you know for playing such pranks - May you continue John x

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  9. You write the most arresting blog post titles!

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  10. Cold of coldest days with snow are significant. Reaction definitely varies. My Caesar (Bernese Mt. dog) loves cold and snow. It is the heat of the Summer that he detests. He actually goes to North, South, East and West facing home doors seeking an exit to coolness. Quirky for sure.

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    1. Bulldogs hate heat too, they hate cold , wind and rain too..

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    2. Sounds like a goat we had once.. We called him Agony because he was always complaining. Aaaa with the most agonizing sound to it. :)

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    3. Great name for a goat…mine was called Peter

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  11. When Dorothy finally goes she is REALLY going to GO!!

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    1. I’ve taken them all for a walk down in Dyserth out of the snow ….she “ exploded” gently

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  12. Anonymous4:08 pm

    Our downstairs toilet is the warmest room in the house.!!

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  13. Liver?
    Let's hope Dorothy spared the duvet and bed when she finally ''goes''.

    You can shovel or sweep a smallish square and put out newspaper or paper towels for the dogs who won't potty in snow.

    What is this essay about?

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    1. Liver is lovely, only if not overcooked ( as my mother used to cook it)
      The assignment was on transference and countertransference

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    2. Rare liver w earthy gravy [a la YP], I am gagging.

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  14. We all have our limits, I agree with Dorothy,

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  15. One thing about Olga -- she will poop in any weather. Thank goodness.

    I wish we had a fireplace. (sigh...)

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  16. So you are the one that buys the liver to eat with onions. My dad loved it . I thought when he passed they would have to give up selling it.

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    1. I have to admit it was a ready meal from marks

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  17. Barbara Anne5:47 pm

    Our sweet Bassett, Daisy, would frolick in snow and was so happy even if the snow depth was over her head.
    You may keep the liver with my blessings!
    Applause that your assignment is finished!!

    Hugs!

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    1. Lightly fry it, don’t over cook it

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  18. I found out recently that when my kids were little, and l served up liver and bacon for dinner. They actually hated the liver, but instead of alerting me to this fact in case l made them 'try to eat a little bit' they used to cut the liver up in small bits and pretend to eat it whilst sneakily passing the pieces under the dining table, to our boxer dog Bruno. He never said a word and ate it all up withoit complaint. Things you find out after the event. Tess

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    1. I hated my mother’s liver and gravy , but she cooked it until it could armour a tank

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. JO6:52 pm

    Mmm Liver and bacon, one of my favourite memories of childhood; even though like your mum mine also overcooked it to death. These days it's a lovely medium rare treat with lots of sauted cabbage. No spuds for me these days. Poor old Dorothy, becoming Diva-ish like Old Winnie used to be. Would she use a litter tray? Or would Roger gobble it up before she worked out what it was. Oh well done on the assignment ... one down many to go!

    Sorry about the comment before, I should have proof read it ... sigh.

    Jo in Auckland

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    1. I’m loving that I’m not the only fan of liver xx

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  21. My mum was quite queezey about meat and I only ate around the cow malted biscuits x

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  22. I do love liver and onions. Never had with bacon, but I'm thinking that it sounds as if I should remedy that as soon as possible.

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  23. Anonymous10:35 pm

    I love liver, especially in a hearty German dish I make when having (certain) friends over. Plop some mashed potatoes in the middle of a large dish, arrange some good sauerkraut around it and than artfully decorate with sliced fried liver (or chicken livers) and onion, sausage and sliced black pudding. Sticks to your ribs for sure!

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    1. Anonymous10:36 pm

      Not anonymous but Brigitta

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  24. Love the vision of Dorothy looking at the snow !

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  25. I've never had liver - good or bad?

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  26. I like your game, and you must try mine. When you visit their homes you secretly turn their toaster setting to 'BURN'. What larks.

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  27. Dogs can be so funny about going out in the snow. I can just imagine the look Dorothy gives you!

    Another fan here of liver and onions. With a peas and mash.

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  28. My dog has just come in from the garden, where it is 3 inches of snow. His feet and legs full of little snow balls! I had to wash him off in warm water as he was not liking them. I expect that Roger and Mary have the same sort of fur that also picks it up?

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes