Where Is Fanny Stain When You Need Her !

 I always spell my surname out when I encounter any officialdom.
It’s a habit, I’ve got into as many people spell my surname as in the colour and not the Scottish/Irish monika.
The receptionist was polite enough, though I did have to wait a little as Karen still hadn’t come back from her break yet , cue much eye rolling.
The ultrasound department is like any other small hospital outpatients. 
Faceless and sanitized.
Another two men, patients too were sat in a gown to my right. 
One looked nervous .
Another receptionist called out “ Thomas Jefferson “ but no one reacted.
She snorted and picked up the phone
The three of us sat in silence for a while longer.
I got out my phone and started to write this blog after Karen or was it Annette could be heard muttering 
I don’t know where Mr Jefferson has got to…what does he look like?”

We are all invisible, I thought to myself , invisible  men in our sixties

I galloped backwards in my mind to the minors unit at Sheffield’s Royal Hallamshire Hospital.
Circa 1989
A student nurse with a set of false notes was calling a patient into minors for a procedure, she was blushing with the importance of calling the next patient in whilst surrounded by the poorly general public 

“ Fanny Stain? Is there a Fanny Stain here?” She called out hopefully

And from behind the nurses station came the muffled hysteria only hospital staff can be responsible for .




69 comments:

  1. Traveller10:23 am

    True story. I used to work with one Ron Salole. Ron was his second name, his first was Anthony. Try the initials.

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    1. Traveller8:17 pm

      Trouble is it’s true…Google him

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    2. https://www.cpacanada.ca/en/career-and-professional-development/event-biographies/ron-salole

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    3. Traveller8:41 pm

      Yup, that is him

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  2. Stain is an unusual surname but there are plenty of Fannies in Sheffield. I have bumped into a few of them.

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  3. My middle brothers initials are GAG, my mother was mortified when someone delivered a monogrammed baby gift.

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    Replies
    1. I liked this one too…..mind you I can think of worse

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  4. Older gay men and older women become invisible when they reach a certain age. I am not bitter about that, not too much. I know the realities.

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    Replies
    1. I agree Andrew , and have just had a discussion about the same thing on a Facebook group

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    2. Anonymous8:39 pm

      The Stalker…. Andrew and John
      We were both teachers and for some reason probably ask too many questions, have loud voices and even louder laughs . Two long haired Dachshunds added to the equation and we are never invisible. The old bloke next door disappears when he sees us…
      Dont know why🤣

      Delete
  5. At the school where I worked, a boy was misbehaving. The teacher asked his name. "Jo King," came the reply. The teacher began to get cross. "I'm NOT joking, what's your name?" "Joseph King." Quick thinking teacher - "Well don't do it again!" xx

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    1. Kids are terrible at picking on a name in school
      I was picked on benignly for being one part of a Janet and john

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    2. My maiden name was Nunn. I’ve been called Sister Mary for most of my working life. 😂.

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  6. In my younger days I worked in several hospitals in Southern Calif. I can not even begin to tell you of all the hilarious names that were broadcast over the PA system. The worst perpatrators were the 11 pm to 7 am shift.

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    Replies
    1. Oh god yes , the graveyard shift ….come 6 am the number of times you start hysterically laughing when someone drops a bedpan

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    2. Yeah, Doctor's Hospital, San Diego, circa 1969, I was night ER, and heard "Doctor Gonzo, call the switchboard", and "Buster Cherry, you wife is calling", etc.

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  7. That is pretty funny. You've got to just laugh.

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  8. I enjoyed Moran-Newman Farms' comment about the 11p to 7a shift. I was a 7p to 7a worker. We spent most of the night laughing at our own invented jokes.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Barbara Anne2:07 pm

    Over our hospital's PA system cam the call for Nosmo King!. Thanks for the laughs!

    Hugs!

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  10. A college friend once tried to get the airport pager to call for "Mike Hunt." But she outsmarted us and called for Michael instead.

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  11. I am enjoying being an invsible lady - the attention is directed at my dogs -at school some girls called me fanny for a while x

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    Replies
    1. No one should be invisable

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    2. I know but I didn't like men looking at me when I was in my prime - judging whether I took their fancy or not - how very dare they x 🍌

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  12. Someone on our ER hospital staff posted a picture to facebook (anonymously) of a man in ER with his wife at his side. "Be proud, Sheffield! Another over dose patient!"

    There were lots of laughing emojis. I didn't think it was funny at all. Your post was though.

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    Replies
    1. Yes I didn’t see the funny side either , but that’s the trouble with social media , it can be perceived wrongly, by others

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  13. Dict Hertz? Anyone? Dick Hertz?

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  14. Today they don't muffle those laughs John... I've been in the hospital with hubby several times over recent years and i feel the behavior at the nurses stations is just appalling.. Loud guffaws, laughing.. LOUD... like its the best party ever.. I GET that its a stressful job and they need to alleviate stress.. I don't want to deny them that.. But i feel it is so disrespectful for the patients waiting for that test , that ultrasound, that heart cath... whatever , which the results of might change their life forever.... might END their life.. Being a nurse yourself you may disagree with my feelings on this.. I would be interested in your thoughts.. The atmosphere around the nurses stations in the US where i've been is always the same.. a party... Hugs! deb

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    Replies
    1. There has to be balance and sensitivity and sometimes that’s difficult of achieve
      Sometimes it easy.
      Nurses are human
      They get things wrong,yet they are sometimes expected to be superhuman , something many of my colleagues over the years have shown me that they are too….

      There’s a time and a place deb

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    2. jinxxygirl, thank you for expressing this. I have experienced this also. Nearly bled to death as the nurses joked and laughed. Once found, unconscious, I needed massive transfusion and three weeks in ICU. But of course they were excused,"blowing off steam''. break from stress etc. Hahahaha.

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  15. Marvellous!
    My dad worked at an engineering company where new apprentices were sent to the stores for a "long weight".

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    1. Barbara Anne4:56 pm

      In the surgery (OR) where I worked, newbies were sent for the neck tourniquet or the otie elevator (this was an actual elevator carrying passengers from floor to floor in a tall building). So many fell for it, too!

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    2. Blast typos! This was an Otis elevator ... sigh!

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    3. A long weight, sent to the pharmacy for a bowman’s capsule , etc etc

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    4. I seem to remember a coworker being sent to the butcher for a Cumberland sausage with a throb in it. Then there's the classic glass hammer one. xx

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  16. If I must be in a hospital, I'd far rather the staff be joking and having fun. A distraction from whatever is ailing me, or what might go wrong with the procedure I'm about to undergo. Enough worry is in my mind already, I'd rather not be in a place that reminds me of a funeral home.

    I suspect nearly every profession has inside practical jokes to play on each other, especially new coworkers.

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    Replies
    1. I never thought we were cruel , but bullies are often accused of that

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  17. I'm 75 and I don't feel at all invisible. Of course that may be because I'm tall and thin and very noticeable.
    I expect Fanny Stain had wandered off somewhere with Skid Marx.

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  18. I remember that Bart Simpson and his friends would pull stunts like that on The Simpson's cartoon show!

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    Replies
    1. Schoolboy and nurse humour is very similar

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  19. Another great story for the book.

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    Replies
    1. There’s quite a few examples here to fill another chapter

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  20. Anonymous6:57 pm

    The clinic I worked at had a lot of patients from foreign countries with unusual (to Anglos) names. The rather shy young staff member was asked to call for a patient in the waiting room. His mischievous coworker (not me) gave him a chart. We all laughed hysterically when shy fellow called for SeeMe Peemore

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    Replies
    1. The tip of the iceberg ….

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    2. May I share but understand if it is not the place - whilst placing exam results into envelopes I was shocked to see at the time the fairly recent immigrant students surnames - I can only say I don't know why or how they could ever have official seemingly to me rascist family names x

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    3. Traveller10:22 pm

      Hmmmm I don’t understand what you are saying Flis. Could you expand a bit?

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    4. She a law unto herself

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    5. I will try to - The surnames were inbelievable - First names I understood to be from oversea but NO - the surname /family name I am certain filled in by a person in a certain position elsewhere - where the immigrant had help with forms x

      Delete
  21. I found during my recent stay that trying to hide my age was impossible - everyone wished to know my date of birth.

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  22. british school boy humor.....

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  23. There was a fellow in our home town named Harry Ramsbottom.

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  24. No doubt wags still give silly names in the hope that they will be announced on a Tanoy. All good fun.

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  25. Wish I had a funny story to add but I'll just enjoy all the ones here today. Brilliant!

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  26. My husband was at school with a Peter Ian Gunby!

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  27. Get her to call for Mike Hunt in the future.

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  28. Anonymous12:53 pm

    A friend had to take a stool sample in to the vets when she took her dog...she grabbed a container and put the dogs stool in it. Arrived at the vets and handed it over. Various dogs were called back. Then a vet assistant came out and asked if “ Meatballs” was there...no answer. Then again..is Meatballs parent there? It suddenly dawned on her that her container was clearly marked..( you got it!], MEATBALLS!

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  29. Anonymous5:48 pm

    How unkind to the student nurse. Unkindness for the sole purpose of amusing other staff. Disgraceful.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes