Sunday, 14 August 2022

I’ll Leave The Landing Light On…..

 
Someone I know, has had cancer recently diagnosed.
A mutual friend told me. 
It wasn’t a secret. 
I messaged them and simply said I had met my friend, nothing more
and the link was made
The ball was in their court and we messaged briefly about it
“ I’m here” I said
I know you are” came the reply. 

Sometimes too many words can be said at times like these. 
A Card, a cooked meal, the offer of a silent walk, a theatre ticket 
Can support someone who is hurting just as well.
The offer of taking Mary for a cuddle 
A book of poems with a bright orange cover, 
A crisp 10 dollar bill with the  instructions of buying an ice cream.

I remember bedtime as a seven year old 
Who was always frightened of the dark. 
A simple action,
A single promise always made things better

I’ll leave the landing light on “ 

56 comments:

  1. Support at these times even the I'm here is a weight lifted for them.

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  2. An old, and well loved, girlfriend of mine is presently in stage 4 of cancer in a Johannesburg hospital. I can think of very little else.

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  3. Sweet and wonderful advice. We should all be so lucky to have a friend like you.

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    1. That’s sweet….but I have so many better friends

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  4. So hard to know what to say in these circumstances. You know more than most and I will try to follow your good advice. Simple kindness offered simply.

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    1. The training I had in Samaritans have been a godsend to my professional and personal life
      It’s taught me the value of silence , pause and listening

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  5. You outdid yourself today. Here's hoping the best for your friend.

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  6. Leaving the landing light is perfect.

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  7. I have a friend with cancer that will kill her one day.
    She calls from Nottingham every week to talk about "not cancer"

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    Replies
    1. Lol I too have a friend with cancer, I make it a point to joke about it with him

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  8. John, such a powerful reminder of how we can offer support. thank you.

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    1. I need to be reminded of this as well as anyone

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  9. Just to let someone know you're there and thinking of them. That they're not forgotten and unloved. Simple actions that can mean so much. Hoping for a good outcome for your friend. xx

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    Replies
    1. And so often people don’t want to be emotionally cornered .

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  10. Even when I'm at rock bottom - a heart shape of a natural source appears -Friday I was filled with a glimmer when I was given out of nowhere a lovely pink box of teabags the words Love on x

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  11. Everyone needs a friend like you.

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    1. And you dear Yael, I have always noticed how often you turnup with a kind word and a warm comment

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  12. You are such a dear person. You deserve every happiness.

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    Replies
    1. I’m no more dear than any of us here x

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  13. Traveller8:16 am

    Wise words - in these cases, I think, less is more - in words but that would be “fewer is more” - which doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

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    1. The right words are incredibly powerful
      But silences too are often easier to offer
      “ being there “
      Is often remembered more

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  14. Just right.
    Pirate's long standing friend...raced against since the 50s, dated the same girl...in denial about health problems and needing regular health checks...stage 4 prostate cancer which has spread.
    We may be nearly 500 miles away, but he knows we are here for him

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    Replies
    1. That unbroken connection …I am lucky , I have many of these

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  15. Anonymous9:22 am

    My husband has recently been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer . A naturally reserved man, he was clear that he wanted to be in charge of information released, as was his right. His sister however proceeded to tell everyone she knew, and he was inundated with calls from people who he hadn’t seen for years, and in one case someone he didn’t know. When discussed with his sister she insisted that she was right to share the information because she needed “ others to know and share her pain”.

    How I wish she had responded as you did. A perfect post x
    Siobhan

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    1. Traveller4:00 pm

      Nope it was his information to tell you he wanted.

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    2. Being in charge, being in control is vital
      It’s vital when people are sick but especially important when people are dying
      That control , of even the tiny stuff needs to be understood by all

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  16. Sometimes people shrink away from cancer victims - as if afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

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    1. Everyone has their own agenda YP . Twenty odd years ago I had a friend who became very ill and I couldn’t visit her…I was in a total loss because I felt she was dying ( she didn’t) that fear paralysed me

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  17. Just the right words. Thank you.

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  18. My coworker told no one, it was her choice.

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    1. And that should be respected above all

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  19. A perfect way to handle it.

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    1. Thank you sue …I remember your quiet , support to me when I needed it. Subtle and measured and quiet

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    2. We both do our best ... and sometimes succeed. xx

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  20. Leaving the landing light on - literally or metaphorically - is one of the kindest and most compassionate things one human can do for another.

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  21. Lovely post John - and so true. You weregood at leaving them for me.

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    1. Dear pat
      It was never and is never hard for any of us to support you …you are well loved and respected, always have been too deArheart x

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  22. Barbara Anne3:38 pm

    So true, Simple acts of caringshow your comcern.
    Wishing your friend well.

    Hugs!

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  23. Thanks for that. I remember the landing light being on for me.

    Jo in Auckland.

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    Replies
    1. I do too
      It meant a great deal to a small child

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  24. Sounds like you handled it well. I agree, it's sometimes possible to be too effusive.

    I was scared of the dark as a kid, too. For us (my brother and me) it was the bathroom light that stayed on.

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    1. In my humble experience
      Less is more
      The Samaritans trained me well, they are a cracking organisation ..
      Listen more talk less

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  25. You provide just the right words of genuine and caring support and this is so important during a health crisis. I'm thinking of you and your friend.

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    1. Non of this is rocket science , we all do it everyday without thinking of it
      Well I hope we all do

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  26. This made my eyes water. You are a dab hand at supporting but not crowding. You are a good friend.

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