Epiphany

What’s the pleural of epiphany? 

Whatever the answer maybe, I think I’ve had a succession of “small” epiphanies since my birthday and beyond.

When I really think of it, when life changed after lockdown was the real start of it all.

When I say epiphanies, what I really mean is ideas and thoughts which have flickered like Christmas Tree fairy lights in and out of my consciousness until they figure more importantly than not in everyday life.

Many of these became clearer after my brief break in Findhorn and the age old red letter day of reaching my 60th birthday.

The overall sense of these flickering lights is that I’m now embarking on that final decade(s) of my life and it’s now time for proper change.

My father died in his early sixties, my brother at 58 and I’m very aware of my mortality in real terms 

Now I’m fully aware that since my husband left me, I have built a new life and career for myself from more or less nothing. I am financially more stable than I’ve been for years , I have saved my home and have made a passable social life for myself through and despite covid but things haven’t been quite enough for me. 

There has to be more.

There IS more

Pushing myself mentally and academically is one new start and is an important one for me.

Letting go of nursing is another.

And finally letting go of the old ghosts of my marriage is the final and most vital bit of the jigsaw.

He has gone, and I know why.

The next decade has to change totally.

Mentally, physically and socially and for the first time , in a very very long time in my life 

I’m ready for more change.

Like I said , this could be my last decade 

And only I am in the driving seat