I'm in Sainsburys
Feeling a bit shell-shocked.
I set the alarm for 8.15 and slept the deep jet lagged sleep of the night nurse until there was a merry bang on the door just before 8am.
Cheerful Bathroom man (CBM) was ripping the bath out minutes later.
I gathered the girls up and took them to Trendy Carol's. Booked a skip then made CBM a coffee before I realised I needed to "go"
My routine is often down to the minute!
That's what I like
A nice long "sit" and a read of the news.
Bliss.
Anyhow the bathroom already looked like Coventry during the Blitz so
I came to sainsburys for an anonymous poo.
I've only just "come round" and that was after a rather robust cooked breakfast and two large Americanos.
My head is still on nights.
Thank goodness for Sainsbury's!
ReplyDeleteThey have a nice cafe
DeleteWhy did you set the alarm for 8.15 am? Mistake? And hadn't you already ordered the skip? I thought you were all organised.
ReplyDeleteI thought he'd arrive at 9 ( wrong) I wanted to book skip when he turned up ( I've had workmen than dont)
DeleteApart from that I'm very well organised
thats a rough start to the day! Two large Americanos were appropriate :)
ReplyDeleteWhich aisle did you choose at Sainsbury?
ReplyDeleteConfectionery
DeleteYour question deserves several upvotes, Tom. My guess? The aisle where they stock dog food. Both the food and the poo somewhat complementing each other. In mitigation, I am sure that John has a pooper scooper on him at all times. Some kind soul passing will have handed him a bag. As to lingering smell? Well, that's harder to clear up in an enclosed environment. But then, John does like to waft.
DeleteU
Personally I would sooner hear nothing about his bowel movements and prefer he kept it to himself.
DeleteYes, Rachel. A sexy, physically appealing image indeed. It should rake in potential suitors. Still, John only recently prided himself on letting it all hang out (literally, in this particular case) so what's a bit of bowel movement on the internet? What perturbed me more than anything why anyone would go for a "long sit" reading the news. Not for the first time, and John has never corrected me, I note that he is definitely stuck in the anal phase. Maybe his mum was making him sit on his potty with a picture book to while away the time whilst she was waiting for a result. I suppose it saved on washing nappies.
DeleteU
Lightweights
DeleteI’m surprised you don’t put up photos.
DeleteIf your arse says it's ready quickly how come you sit a long time with a newspaper?
DeleteHow little you know men
DeleteMost men love to read on the lav
He reads The Beano.
DeleteEmpire magazine
DeleteUncle Ray x
DeleteMy hubby always has a poo book on the go. He reads it whilst otherwise occupied. xx
DeleteYesyesyes to reading on the loo. I draw the line at eating in said establishment (former flatmate did not and would leave plates) so I’m glad John specified.
DeleteThank you ladies
DeleteI rest my case
I understand about reading on the toilet, that was not my point. If you go quickly, as you indicated you were in a hurry in the text, I have no idea why you would want to sit reading least of all on a public toilet in Sainsbury.
DeleteHow far can we go down this road?
DeleteTomorrow it be skid marks and an old pair of underpants the builder found.
DeleteHas he no dignity? His followers seem to encourage him. I am worried about the motives behind this, but some people will do anything to garner comments. (An elderly woman from the Home Counties).
DeletePoot x
DeleteNow I know why I barred any anonymous from making comments right at the outset. To be honest, my iPhone will not let me make any comments under my name of Tom under the new regime, but it will let me make ones anonymously, which dear John has not blocked for whatever reason. I am the elderly woman from the Home Counties. (Cackling laughter...)
DeleteOh Anon
DeleteLighten up
I’m just being myself and am enjoying things much more than I did..
Would you prefer the sadder me?
I wouldn’t
I don’t want to go back there
Tom
DeleteToo many nice commentators are able to comment only when anon comments are allowed
The twats that spoil things I can ignore
Rachel
DeleteThe plumber did indeed find a few things
Two old credit cards , behind the corner cupboard
Both of the profs …both out of date
I did lighten up! Can't you tell when someone is joking?
DeleteP.S. Shame the cards were out of date...
DeleteThe lighten up reply was for Anon not you my friend xx
DeleteCan't you see who you were talking to John?
DeleteMy comment was under Tom’s comment but it was clearly not for him ,
DeleteOn this particular thread I can’t comment under each commentator
DeleteJohn, this all seems a bit like "target practice." All in fun...
DeleteAhem indeed.
DeleteA poo in Sainsbury’s, my idea of hell (a poo in any public facility). The only place you probably can’t order an Americano is in America[no].
ReplyDeleteI do into the disabledloo
DeleteAnd he’s now gone from Little Bathroom Man to Charming Bathroom Man.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds better
DeleteI hate getting caught short in need of a poop... sometimes needs must and the local BP service station is all there is... my tip.... always carry a box of matches... does wonders to dispel any unfortunate smells that might make you blush.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
A tip I have just taken on board
DeleteAnonymous poo? Don't you mean enormous?
ReplyDeleteI mean both
DeleteIsn't Anonymous Poo the name of one your more awkward commenters?
DeleteI suspect it’s yours
DeleteI am interested in reading about your bathroom, but not so keen on reading about your bathroom habits!
ReplyDeleteHarden up
DeleteJohn. Only you could make going to the lav so hilarious. I count living alone as perhaps the only benefit and that is to sit on the toilet and if I feel like it do the Times crossword.
ReplyDeleteHilarious ? Nawwww mildly amusing possibly x
DeleteThe first day of the remodel should be the worst - soon nice new - your style. We all poo, may he/she who never does cast the first stone - we'll wait. Can't wait to see the after photos, of the bathroom that is.
ReplyDeleteI will post the “ before “ tomorrow
DeleteCan't wait
DeleteAm not bothered by John's description at all. Nurses are quite familiar with the 'outcomes' of the digestive tract (google the Bristol Scale - we used to have to describe each 'motion'. 'Fluffy' was a good one. Reminded me of clouds...). As a community nurse I had a patient with MS, who always requested my help once a week, to perform a manual evacuation with the patient suspended above a bed pan on a hoist. It was normal practice back then, but would be frowned upon now. My fingers were stronger than those of the female nurses, hence I was the nurse requested. I always wore two pairs of gloves. The bowel care didn't bother me - it was the thought of a glove splitting and faecal fingernails. Far more off-putting than John's mild description of needing a comfort break in Ruthin Sainsburys. The wine aisle there isn't too bad, if you're passing through.
ReplyDeleteI know P
DeleteToo many snowflakes around x
So are the rest of us. It is just schoolboy humour. Nothing special about nurses.
DeleteI think nurses have a cross between schoolboy and very dark humour
DeleteCompletely accurate, John!
DeleteHugs - Barbara ANNE
Agree John - it certainly helps.
DeleteWhen you gotta go, you gotta go! We all have to poo, even the Queen, so I can't see why some are getting squeamish about it. I hope it won't be too long before you can go on your own shiny new loo! xx
ReplyDeleteI only said I had a poo, I didn’t go into details ….lightweights
DeleteSainsburys to the rescue!
ReplyDeleteClean toilets in Rhyl
DeleteDay 1 of the bathroom project: and being awakened by CBM instead of the alarm started the day with a bang. The Sainsbury loo, coffee, and a good breakfast must have made everything better.
ReplyDeleteI’ will be having breakfast and lunch out every day the workers are here. The cottage is too small to stay in
DeleteOh, that night shift. You feel half awake while everyone is wide awake...and you're wide awake when everyone else is sleeping soundly!
ReplyDeleteHope your bathroom is completed soon. If your charming bathroom man reads blogs, I'm quite sure that he will wait to install the toilet last, lest he see you coming down the hall with a newspaper.
He’s fixed my outside toilet!!! So I now have two
DeleteHow come you never had it fixed before?
DeleteMind blowing x
DeleteDo we need to call you Toulouse Gray now? Lol! xx
DeleteDid he fix your outside toilet because he didn't want to see you coming into his worksite with a folded newspaper under your arm?
DeleteRachel
DeleteI was under the impression it was no long plumbed in . When we bought the cottage , we were told it had not been used for years
Debbie,
DeleteIt makes his life easier , because he doesn’t have to replumb the loo every night for me to use
Tree x
ReplyDeleteOh good grief,is there anything you don't blog about!
ReplyDeleteNot really
DeleteTMI, John! Looking forward to the bathroom completion!
ReplyDeleteI will photograph the changes
DeleteAnd the first poo?
DeleteI’ve take it on again
ReplyDeleteAny port in a storm! Am glad Sainsbury's wason't too far away.
ReplyDeleteSo kind (as susal ) of Trendy Carol!
Hugs - Barbara Anne
She and her hubby are a real godsend
DeleteSainsbury's toilets are usually good and clean..and warm!
ReplyDeleteAnd even the veggie breakfast is a good deal.
Nice to have an enthusiastic tradie even if it did cause ructions in routine!!
The cooked meat breakfast was delightful …instea£ of tomato I had an extra egg
DeleteI initially read this as ‘A Poet in Sainsbury’s’ which, of course, you are!
ReplyDeleteSome would differ
DeleteI have no idea how that published twice. Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Such is the price to be paid for a new bathroom. You have a toliet in your garden???
ReplyDeleteGood thing Sainsburys is there for temporary creature comforts :) Won't be long before you have a great new bathroom and even an extra outside loo as a bonus.
ReplyDelete