Friday, 27 May 2022

60 Some Thoughts


Sixty.

I know it’s such a boring platitude but I have to say the words always said at these times…
Where does the time go?
I’m writing this at 5 am Albert and I are the only ones awake. Dorothy is gently chewing my pj bottoms, she’s dreaming she’s a puppy

Where did the time go?

I couldn’t tell you…I really can’t.

So , I have been reflecting …….like you do .
I’m reflecting until Wednesday when it actually hits me albeit gently ….square in the face
On the 1st , I’m working all day and we are short handed
I won’t have time to feel anything but fucked.

Here are just 20 thoughts, thoughts in the middle of the night just after Dawn 

1. Working where I do has made me realise that people who “hate getting old “ are idiots. 
You are allowed to hate becoming ill, becoming infirm , becoming depressed ….but don’t hate getting old.
I am lucky reaching 60 , I know that, and I am grateful.

2. Memory is a fickle friend. 

3. Strangely as it may seem sex is better now  than when I took it for granted ….however it is unfortunately more infrequent 
( refer to point 2!)

4. Certain memories last a lifetime and they will never leave you……I dip into a score as I lay in bed….
1968 Janet and I doing Tarzan impersonations out of our bedroom window. 1972 my grandmother smelling of love and cold cream 1973 my first viewing of The Poseidon Adventure 1980 a family party at Ann’s house. 1992 …..getting drunk with Nu in a Galway pub…… Dancing on a Sheffield hospital roof in the dark 1996 seeing New York City  from the air 
2002 meeting my first dog Finlay…..true love 
2015 getting married, 2016 Watching the cor de ballet in Giselle at the Royal Opera house 
Salsa dancing in Sheffield 

Happiness….a flash of realising I was happy, truly happy .

5. Being a nurse …and seeing people at their very best often when they are experiencing their very worst .
 
6  Now realising that when someone starts a conversation with “;I’m not being ……”; they always are

7 Actions always speak louder than fucking words

8 I miss not being a dad but I can now be a cool sort of uncle and grandadish …..a couple of weeks ago My “teenage” nephew Leo texted after a date and excitedly told me he’d just had his first kiss. 
It made me insanely happy.

9 friends are life …but at 60 they start to leave you…please treasure them

10. The Walking Dead needs a Uk Version, and I soooooo want to be in it 

11. I no longer have to pretend to put up with bad behaviour , bad music, bad films or toxic people 

12. I Don’t expect good news coverage on breakfast tv. I say what I think more  when I deal with any services and I won’t put up with shitty management at work 

13. Never talk about politics, gun law or post a seemingly innocuous blog without thinking about it on line. And if I do, expect a load of shitty responses 

14 I now recognise that real friends are real in so much that they don’t rationalise affection or praise or support. They just accept you. 

15 sleep if you can in an afternoon….every afternoon.

16 what did we ever do without phones and internet ?

17. Don’t be unloyal to yourself . I’ve done  it for too many years now. Don’t do things you don’t want to do. Don’t be what you don’t want to be and don’t expect others to do the same 

18  Eat a scotch egg , when I bloody well want one 

19  if you love someone , tell them . Tell them as often as you can 

20  to now move forward into my 61st  year by embracing a new skill ( professional counselling ), a new career , and new experiences …..I realise that inkind of deserve it ….

Hey ho, I’m almost sixty 

And I’m off to work…….soon……
So wish me a happy birthday next Wednesday  , I’m shallow enough , to enjoy every single comment 



110 comments:

  1. I was 60 last year. I still hope - despite a shattered heart - to fall in love again. Never too old to be optimistic :)

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  2. I've a couple of years to go until I hit 60 but I reflect on my life all the time. Not expecting to fall in love again and not even looking any more and I'm actually comfortable and happy with that. I agree with everything you say (except Scotch eggs, yuck!!) xxx

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    Replies
    1. I want to fall in love again, but accepting that this is not going to happen x

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  3. Anonymous7:45 am

    No.10 I agree, see you at the Winchester? Happy birthday for Wednesday, much love, a looooong time lurker x

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    1. I will also be at the Winchester, better check its loaded! ha ha

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    2. Anonymous6:01 pm

      👍😁

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    3. Always go for the headshot

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  4. Getting to 60 and beyond, means I now 'don't give a shit', life is so much better

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    1. I’m more loose tongued than ever was

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  5. Anonymous8:44 am

    I think that if you stick to no. 9 everything else just falls into place.

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  6. Happy, happy, happy birthday for Wednesday. I'm now closer to 70 than 60, but I still, mostly, feel 18 - without the angst! I've finally realised there are things I can't change, so what's the point of wasting time and energy trying to do so. Enjoy life! xx

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    1. It’s funny I think most of my commentators are younger than I am

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  7. I was always rather dizzy would you believe-Now I've sort of grown into myself and I'm quite happy-60 years is wonderful and I feel quite excited by it all-I'm sure John that you will love it -Plus of course all the freedom x

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  8. Anonymous9:10 am

    Easy for you to say, you're still relatively young compared to those of us long past 60. Age brings with it illness, infirmity, the decline of mental faculties, death of family and friends.
    I'm now waiting for a carer to come and dress me and "make you comfortable" which means change my pad and the bed sheets.
    I hate getting old with a vengeance so I guess that makes me an idiot in your eyes.

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    1. I didn’t say that at all!!!!!……I said just because you are old you shouldn’t be sad..being infirm, disabled! ill, and old are things you CAN be sad about
      Read the next line and then Complain Anon

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    2. And if you don’t apologise you are an idiot

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    3. Anonymous6:07 pm

      John I'm surprised at your harsh reply, "if you don't apologise you are an idiot"
      I got the impression from the comment it's from a very sad and poorly person, incapacitated and on bed care. Perhaps the internet is their only form of communication?

      If Anon on bed care reads this I sympathise with you, I'm the sole carer for a close relative who is on permanent bed care and who hates his life, being old, incapacitated and with disabilities. He doesn't (won't) use the internet and struggles to communicate.
      I'm no longer surprised by the number of people who seem to have no sympathy for invalids, they must think they'll never get old or become incapacitated. It does seem to be the younger generation who think they're invincible.
      All best wishes to you Anon and I'll think about you.

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    4. Anonymous6:08 pm

      The above comment was from Jan.

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  9. I'm 60 next year. I hate going out on an evening with work - I wish I could just say no. Will I magically find the courage to say no when I hit 60??!!

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  10. veg artist9:12 am

    60 is not old these days, but aging was not granted to my parents (45 and 54), so I am grateful for every day, every smile line (wrinkle), every slowly advancing grey hair, even if they do come with aches and pains.
    Being in a situation and of an age where you can be true to yourself is invaluable - you will have a blast.
    Penblwydd Hapus!

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  11. Such wise words John. We are lucky to reach 60 and every day is a bonus, and not guaranteed.

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  12. Happy Birthday.

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  13. Keep happy and healthy.

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  14. "I no longer have to pretend to put up with bad behaviour, bad music, bad films or toxic people" That sounds good. Happy Birthday next Wednesday, John!

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  15. Anonymous10:11 am

    Now in my 73rd year, I am so glad that I found the courage to retire at 57. My age was never reached by my father or any of his four siblings, and so I take each day as a gift. Happy Birthday on Wednesday John. Catriona

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    1. Yes it sobering to remember that my brother never reached 60

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  16. I'm not saying anything until Wednesday. That's 5 days away, btw.

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    Replies
    1. I'm building up for a big finish

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    2. Well you have given us enough warning. Bloody shameless, you tart.

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  17. A good list! Enjoy your day when it comes , young man!!

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  18. 3. I like less frequent. I am hoping for undesirable. Messy business and hard work.
    13. Oops. See my post tomorrow morning. Gotta keep the pressure on.
    15. My partner does. Afternoon sleep will wreck my night sleep.
    16. Strangely we managed perfectly well.

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    Replies
    1. 3 oh no it’s much better

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    2. Anonymous6:20 pm

      Andrew and number 3 - perhaps you're with the wrong partner. In older age (I'm 70) it becomes more pleasurable with a long term partner especially when both know how to please the other and it becomes a languid pleasure rather than the frantic happenings of youth. Afternoon siestas are a regular thing here, either it happens or it doesn't, sometimes a loving cuddle is enough for both of us, other times things progress. But always it's relaxed and languid and pleasurable.

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  19. Yay!
    Happy (early) Birthday!
    *smooches!*

    XOXO

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  20. Enjoy your day, and make it a happy one; you'll never be 60 again and yes love, love, love, it does make the world go round.. don't be too regretful about having children, I have 4 and grown up and moved away, hardly ever see them, but I expect they'll turn up for my funeral.. too late then, the Dogs Trust is getting most of my money!

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    1. Chris ,I will be having an early night as I’m working on my birthday and the next..and that’s fine x

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  21. Excellent words. The pandemic has changed me. THe death of my father has tilted my world. I have some new phrases and actions that have made my family ask if I am ok. But I feel the need to look each one in the face and tell them I love them, they are important to me and tell them straight away I am proud of who you are and what you just did. soppy stuff, its important to me for them to know. Even my 6f 5in nephew in law who hates any kind of affection. He now accepts a hug. I say thank you that was a really nice hug. We all love you, your a great dad you are doing an amazing job. My niece sent me a screen shot of his instagram (only for family and friends, I am not on insta), and it said "E's aunt, just hug me and told me she is proud of me. No one has ever said that to me, looked me in the eye and made me feel worth it". So there you go that point you make is a really big one. I dont want to die and have people think "did she love me?".

    the walking dead UK version would be the Simmon Pegg film Shaun of the Dead. we would only have cricket bats from the back of the old shed, a golf club from that one golf lesson someone bought you and crockery to throw at them.

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    1. Sol, this moved me greatly
      Thank you for sharing
      I agree with your sentiments x

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  22. Anonymous12:27 pm

    Like Mrs L I too was 60 last year - it does feel like a big deal. They say time speeds up as you get older so I'm definitely wanting to make the most of whatever is left.
    As for ageing, if I grumble about that my husband always says " what's the alternative?"
    Happy Birthday on Wednesday John
    Ali from Wales x

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  23. Wise thoughts, old man. Hahahahahaha! I can say that because you're younger than me.

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  24. Working in cancer care, I can tell you a lot of people would like to get old, rather than dying at 22 or 39 or even 53. I bitch because my body hurts but I an thankful to be getting old.

    All behavior is communication, I learned that one from Miss Katie and I believe it applies to people of all ages.

    That's all I got and I'm impressed you could think of so many in the middle of the night.

    Take care John and I'll be back to wish you a happy birthday.

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    1. I’ve been waking up early for a while now ….and spend a good hour day dreaming

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  25. I could comment on several of these. I have two more years before I turn sixty. You seem to be embracing it well. I have #7 tattooed as part of my sleeve, "Actions not words," in Latin. Along with several other phrases I should remember, but often forget.

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    1. Treasure those years …only this morning I was 58

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  26. Anonymous1:37 pm

    When I realised on my 57th birthday how close I came to not seeing 60 - or seeing you and my other loved ones again - I knew that the number was unimportant.And here I am at almost 62, still going strong (ish), slimmer than ever (one of the advantages of this tiresome health thing) and making the most of life's adventures. Haven't seen you for ages...and we need to sort that. Bel-Ami

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    1. Your illness has had a profound effect on me as you know...
      I'm grateful that " you're still here" as Carlotta would say

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  27. At 77, I'm still astonished to find myself this age, and can sum it up in a very short sentence. "Old is better than dead!-so far."

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  28. Barbara W.1:46 pm

    Celebrate you! I turned 60 last Christmas and counted it as a milestone, given my wonky heart. So grateful to have been able to keep working and see my daughter launch her own career as a solicitor. So grateful for every day.

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  29. Anonymous1:50 pm

    I bought the same tee shirt for my sister, but there was a twist. She was born in 1948, the tee shirt said 1953. As she puts it "the five years was the gift". I can't tell you how much fun she has had wearing it.

    May you live long and prosper.

    xo
    Annie V

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  30. Everyone needs to make their own list of the wisdom they've acquired on the way. I suspect each of us would have a different list which would agree on some basic fundamentals. The older I get, the more free I feel, actually.

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  31. Anonymous2:36 pm

    I’m 61 and so much of what you said resonates with me. I won’t put up with bad service, but I’ve also got better at giving praise where it’s due. And not saying yes to please people. Life is short and precious and as far as I can I’m going to spend what remains seeing people I love and doing things I enjoy. Happy birthday for Wednesday. Athene

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    1. Athene
      I make it a point to celebrate good service or style or niceness

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  32. Barbara Anne2:47 pm

    Love your thoughtful list and particularly No 17 as it's good and right to love yourself first and foremost. Be good to you, too!
    At 71 and a month, I've had to let go of my wish to be taller.

    Hugs!

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  33. Lots of good thoughts here, John. It has been harder for me since I hit 70 but I try to remain positive and I enjoy being funny.

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    1. I don’t think I will be writing anything ……before My 70th

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  34. I’m catching you up John I’m 60 next year, no idea how that happened lol

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  35. I'm 61 and loving my age. As much as I enjoyed my career, I love retirement way more. I remind myself all the time that age is my friend. Turning 59 was the key that opened the door to retirement and all the freedom and joy that came with it. I will try to remember that if I ever have the urge to whine about growing old. Thank you for your thoughts. They all made me think.

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    1. I need a plan , I’ve needed one for a while
      Now I have one

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  36. This is a very good list and it will serve you well. Enjoy life and be well. Live, love and laugh!

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  37. Anonymous3:28 pm

    I believe in celebrating "birthday week" vs just a day. So will be in touch Sunday, if memory is not too fickle.

    Ceci

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    1. I agree Ceci
      But I’ve not got much planned for the week as I’m working until Thursday

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  38. I wish you a happy birthday from here along the Colorado River in Arizona , U.S.A. In August I will slide into being only 76.

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  39. Number 1 says so much. What is old anyway? If we’re old at 60 (or even 50 or 40) what are we if we’re lucky enough to be living a good life at 80 or 90... or 100? I’m not old, just older than I was and, most days at least, I’m so grateful to have lasted this long.

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    1. Living a good life I liked that ….my more recent unhappier years need to make way for most of the 56 happy and content years

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  40. Great list, thoughtful observations. Happy almost birthday. Really celebrate each day. And take those afternoon naps.

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    1. I’m working sun Monday and Wednesday so I’ll be fit for nothing lol

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  41. The middle of the night is as good a time as any for such a reflective list. I came back to read it more carefully, as I was interested and also in the comments.
    Some great points; especially the memories of special happy moments, the treasuring of friends and loved ones and the realisation that friends love you unreservedly and without rationalisation. For me the most important is how the quality of time changes as we get older. It does feel faster but can be slowed by living more "in the moment" and savouring everything good. Especially scotch eggs!

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  42. These are all so true! At 75, I have experienced all this.

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  43. I hope you have a happy birthday!

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    1. I’m working on my birthday , the real celebration will be with my sister in London

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  44. Replies
    1. Jumbled thoughts on along night pat x

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  45. Great post! Question: Would you allow me to repost it on my U. S. blog called "Sightings Over Sixty'? You can answer here or at tomsightings@gmail.com. Thank you ... and even if you say no, thank you for a wonderful reflective post!

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  46. Happy birthday John! I am only 3.5 years behind you and still appreciate the wisdom you've shared here, as I have done over many years now, along with your humour, honesty and love of animals. Keep posting and I look forward to reading wherever life takes you next!

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  47. I love your list but especially numbers 17 and 19. Those are so, so important. I turn 70 this summer and I swear I just turned 60 a couple of years ago. So be prepared for time to fly!

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  48. Happy 60th birthday! It's nice to do as you wish and be more comfortable being oneself as we age.

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  49. I'll be busy all day Wednesday with a medical procedure, so I'll say Happy Birthday now! My mother's cancer took her on her 45th birthday, so I have always been aware that whatever I go through, she would have loved to have had that day to live. That's especially true since I was diagnosed with the same cancer at 40. I'm 72 now and the intervening years have brought joy and trauma, all the things that a full life does, but I know I'm lucky.

    I read your list with interest. A funny note about number 16: for those of us who write books or stories at all related to mystery or horror, the omnipresence of cell phones killed many plot lines.

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  50. Early birthday wishes from me. My birthday is on the same day, 62 this time. I agree with everything you say, grateful for every year. You don't have it on your list so maybe you don't feel it yourself but, for me, the most disturbing thing about growing old is not recognising the person in the mirror. I look up at a mirror and my father looks back.

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  51. Interesting thoughts. (Funny how things roll around in our minds as we lie in bed in the wee hours.) I must say, in response to no. 16, that as much as I use the Internet now I was always very happy without it. And I'm not at all sure that it's a good thing overall. Traces of the luddite in me!

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    1. I love the fact I can find something out, learn something …immediately

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  52. I would have been a freshman in high school at 16

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  53. Very astute observations.

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  54. Anonymous1:45 pm

    Enjoy your birthday. We are privileged to get old but never take it for granted. Never forget to have fun

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  55. Anonymous12:46 am

    I am 89 and don’t know how I got this far. I had the love of my life for 60 years so I can’t complain.

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