Some people don’t get that Going Gently is a journal as well as being a blog.
A Jourog or Blognal
Call it what you wish.
As a journal I often share personal feelings and thoughts predominantly ( but not always) about my own life. Something that often elicits comments of support and sympathy but also of advice and criticism.
This, is perhaps to be expected I guess, even if questions are seldom put out for the audience to give their thruppenny bits at.
What most people don’t get is that Blognals are cathartic pieces really. They are there purely to process feelings and thoughts and events and are not really there to illicit comments
This is certainly true when it comes to sympathy
As it may seem to some that blogging is really about.
Attention seeking.
Now I’m going to shoot myself in the foot here , as of course blognaling is all about attention seeking. But it really is about attention seeking in the right way.
I don’t want to hear that I’m a lovely person, or a saint or fucking Mother Theresa without the tea towel but I do like to hear that I’ve written something interesting , or well , or which has moved someone or made them laugh.
I want one without the other
And that isn’t how the internet works.
I get that.
I know of bloggers who are more economical with self disclosure for the very reasons I’ve outlined above.
Others have always been careful with what they post.
I am not. If I feel it, or I need to process it, I write it and obviously do from one perspective
Who knows if there is a right or wrong way of doing things.
The internet allows for people to react to the written word in a way that they would never do to anyone’s spoken ones face to face.
It also allows people to withhold sympathy (when it is perhaps needed) in the perception that you’ve had too much on line…..this is intriguing, as it would never happen in real life
…..but that, as they say, is another story
We all need to externalise our feelings or thoughts somehow. Some wear T Shirts with slogans, some shout at 'Speakers Corner', but others (like us) prefer to write it down and invite reactions. It takes all sorts.
ReplyDeleteThere is a discipline to it cro, that I think appeals to me. It is seldom a chore , it is something I think as important ….the moment of writing being important not the words
DeleteI have read your blognal for many years now and have rarely felt it necessary to offer sympathy or advice. You have always come across to me as a person who is very capable and not needing a whole lot of input
ReplyDeleteThank you x
DeleteBlogging is my therapy.
ReplyDeleteMine too
DeleteSay what you choose to or need to and we're here with you ... from afar for the most part and that's okay.
ReplyDeleteHugs - Barbara Anne
Nicely put babs, as usual
DeleteAll i know is yours is my favorite blog- the first one i go to in the morning and the last one at night. Your stories and reflections make me laugh and make me cry. You are an excellent writer and i really appreciate your transparency.
ReplyDeleteThank you lini,
DeleteBlogland does seem to be a very varied place. There are the highs and lows of life, and humour too. I like to visit yours because of this but also because you write some excellent pieces and I really enjoy that. Hopefully your readers will laugh, be happy and sometimes be sad with you while understanding it's not attention seeking but just contact between people.
ReplyDeleteI think I write descriptively , with bursts of good ideas. I wish I could write better. Tom and Rachel and several others all seem to do it effortlessly
DeleteYour blog is also my favourite, my first stop for sanity, humanity, compassion and laughter as well as tenderness. Real life in all it's forms, warts, wonder and all. You have a lot of loyal followers, fun friends for that very reason. Not everyone gets how brave an honest blogger, like you, is and has to be.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be the critical and the dismissive and the holier-than-thou who merely demonstrate their own problems, hangups and weaknesses by taking them out on you, especially when done anonymously.
But just look at the team you have gathered round you over the years. Genuine, kind strong people. They reflect your truth. And we appreciate you and all you do. Amen!
This was not meant to be anonymous, but published without name checking! From Yorkshire Liz!
DeleteNicely put too…thank u
DeleteEchoing all of the above. I read your blog because you don't sugar-coat everything. You tell it like it is for you, warts and all. You make me laugh, cry, and think, even if there are times when I've no idea what you're talking about (think Walking Dead!) Even though I've never met you (although I do live in hope of bumping into you on one of your forays to the Southport area) I hope you don't mind that I consider you a friend. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks kind , thank u
DeleteI would have a blog but could not organise it - so I write things that I need to get off my chest on paper and burn it on the fire ripping it sometimes and it if particularly upset spit on it a little first x
ReplyDeleteA useful therapy tool flis
DeleteI have more which I best not share x
DeleteYou will rarely get any sympathy from me! and definitely no gushing and I only read your blog because you write it!
ReplyDeleteI like this comment x
DeleteThese are as you know my feelings on our blog writing, many of us who we know well and I think we basically all feel the same about it. I think this is what we shared yesterday in our emails is it not? xx
ReplyDeleteIndeed,this is just a muse about it all in the small wee hours
DeleteBlognalling, I rather like that description. I blog as a personal record of what I'm doing at any given time and if people read it and interact with it that's a bonus. I love your honesty plus you write so beautifully about the realities of life and relationships. And that helps so many people. I don't write about everything as for some reason my mum reads my blog and she doesn't need to know about the shitty bits of broken relationships. Keep doing you John xxx
ReplyDelete😌
DeleteI sometimes share more than I ever intended when I first started blogging, and am grateful for your honesty and for the glimpses into your daily life. I have plenty of tea towels if you need one.
ReplyDeleteI think I was thinking of the Virgin Mary more than Theresa
DeleteThe Virgin Mary is really who I always picture when I think of you.
DeleteThat was more of a bath towel!
DeleteLol my mistake
DeleteI read a few blogs to remind myself that others out there still have a life!
ReplyDeleteAwwww
DeleteJohn I do not ever want you to stop writing whatever you like. Through you I get to 'know' the folk around you in Trelawnyd, I get to know your thoughts and feelings on things - and it lights up my morning. If you are worried or sad I feel honoured to share it and if you have something funny to share I love the love. You have only to look at the number of comments you get every day to know that a lot of us feel the same. Now that I am almost ninety I don't get out much and it is you I turn to first every day. And as I have told you many times - you should put it all in a book. It would be a jolly site more interesting than 'Miss Read'.
ReplyDeleteLike many blogging is as important to my day as working is….it’s an addiction of sorts…. But thank you pat, always for your unfailing support , I’m always grateful for it
DeleteMany times I read blogposts without leaving comments. Just because you have read something does not mean you have to comment on it - giving sympathetic support, praising, contesting remarks or passing judgement.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely x
DeleteIt must be difficult to come to the understanding that in blogging one is really only talking to oneself when you get as many comments as you do. For the rest of us it is much easier. I have always had the ambition to make my posts as entertaining as I can, but - as you well know - anger often gets in the way, and there is a lot to be angry about these days. I try not to wash my dirty linen in public, but when I do I am always amazed at the understanding and sympathy I get from everyone else. It is hard not to milk it, like a child does when it it makes the connection between relating a troubling thought or emotion and the positive attention it receives when it does.
ReplyDeleteI get that point indeed , but it still matters ….a kind word from someone important to you is worth 100 such words from others less so
DeleteDo you?
DeleteAnd how do you decide? Do you automatically disregard words that you think are unkind?
DeleteSome words and comments ARE unkind. I tend to disregard those that I think were written when someone is tired and emotional although they often still have the power to upset
DeleteWhat I admire most about your blog is that is it is not anonymous, as mine is although increasingly less so. You put yourself out there with family, friends and neighbours. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You make mistakes in life.
ReplyDeleteBut beyond all, your blog is interesting. Maybe three years ago I suggested to the Welsh National Library or the equivalent that your blog needs to be archived. I never heard back from them. Your blog does need to be archived.
I have you to thank Andrew , my history blog has indeed been archived by the library of wales
DeleteI remember when I first heard about blogs, it took me a while to find out what it actually stood for (search engines were not then what they are now) and when I did find an explanation it was simply that it's an abbreviation of web log, which is like an online journal or diary. And that is exactly how I've always treated mine, except with a far higher success rate than any paper diary I've ever tried to keep. Mostly because I can type far better and more quickly than I can write using a pen and paper, I think, although the connection with other people is definitely (usually) a lovely benefit.
ReplyDeleteI rarely comment, almost never these days, but I think the fact that I'm still reading your blog after many years is testament to how lovely your writing is, and how much I enjoy the glimpses into your life. Those glimpses into someone's life are what I have always loved most about reading blogs.
Blognalling is kind of a perfect portmanteau actually. Although it seems to be landing firmly on the side of words I don't like - does anyone else have that? Certain words, maybe the shape of them or something, are just meant to be liked, certain words not? I always struggle to explain this but it's the same for letters. And everything really. If it's a "round" one (in my head), it's always better than/preferable to a "sharp" one. Hmmm, I feel like I'm going off on a tangent. Anyway, from this random internet stranger, thank you for sharing your thoughts and words with us.
Nicely put moonwaves x
DeleteLove the idea of Blognaling.
ReplyDeleteAnd your blog is anything you want it to be. Duh. It's YOURS. And concerning self-disclosure, I'm the king of TMI. Many people online know much more about me than people in RL. So what? IDGAF.
You just keep doing you. I love it.
XOXO
I think most commenters are simply trying to be supportive in the best way they know how. (Of course there are also the inevitable trolls!) I always appreciate your candor and your personal reflections, and commenting is just a way for me to show you that, like Kilroy, "I was here."
ReplyDeleteSteve , there is an element of that. Something of me left behind. Something of my not invisible
DeleteMe not my
DeleteJohn I too work in Pal care and your blog was a great pleasure during Covid times and always . Your observations of life and people always give me pause for thought and sometimes laughter . I have much admired how you have faced your divorce . May you continue with your blog for many years to come x Bernie
ReplyDeleteThank you Bernie
DeletePs John ! Being Irish I also have a honed sense of humour . I think you would call it the Nula factor !!!
ReplyDeleteAnd boy does she have a factor !!!
DeleteI read your blog because I love the way you write. When I started reading blogs I had dozens on my list. These days I read two... yours every morning and night and Cro's every morning and night. I read the others less now because I have less time. I sensed over the time I have read your blog your pain with some things, your joy with others, your excitement with other aspects of your life... your love of your pets and the fripperies, the pottery items, your sister sorting your garden, your exciting bathroom project. And your wonderful style. I wish to come back in the next life as a gay man who has such style. I don't do jealousy but I envy your style ... a twee bit!
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
I’ll take that …style is something a little beyond me , but I will take that
DeleteI look forward to hearing what is on your mind, what is happening in your world. I self edit a lot, maybe that will change when I retire, maybe
ReplyDeleteI’m not careful what I write and that has been a difficult on occasion David. I admire restraint
DeleteLove you blog love what you do at work I often think if I ever would need that kind of a service I would be glad a person like you look after me thank you for your thoughts
ReplyDeleteThank you only x
DeleteLove reading your blog..it gives me hope!
ReplyDeleteWho has the time and energy to blog and write an additional journal anyway?!
The Hope comment has moved me, so unexpectedly and I thank you for that x
DeleteThis is your blog - your right to write whatever you want. I enjoy it. Commenters that write negative comments are only talking about themselves. Blog on!
ReplyDeleteJust keep on being YOU!
ReplyDeleteI’m not qualified for anything else
DeleteBesides, you have to be you becuase everyone else is already taken! Not original to me as I read that long ago and have forgotten where I read it.
DeleteHugs! Barbara Anne
Personal blogs have always been my favorite. Just snapshots of what others are doing and going through. Like someone said above, without sugar coating it. Somehow, true events always stand out over anything faked.
ReplyDeleteI love everyday chatter too……
DeleteMore power to your elbow (and other relevant anatomical parts!).
ReplyDeleteLol
Delete"Mother Theresa without the tea towel," LOL!
ReplyDeleteI do bring old walnut face into the grey regularly
DeleteSome of us have been reading your blog for a decade or more, but rarely (if ever) comment. We stop in for a quiet visit over morning coffee and appreciate whatever has been written. It's a glimpse into another life that expands our own just a little. --Elise
ReplyDeleteAnd for that gentle, quiet support , I thank you
DeleteI think that by posting you [we/ bloggers] are eliciting comments, opinions, advice. If you didn't want feedback you'd write in a closed journal or at least turn off commenting, or you'd write your thoughts in a paper diary you hide under the bed. I also think you enjoy the numbers of comments annd attention, as do all internet bloggers. That number count ---counts!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy commenting but will refrain as I do tend to be an advice and opinion commenter.
This all makes me very sad this morning. [yes, yes, it is not about me, we are not friends, etc etc, I get it]
Some bloggers I consider friends , but those people I have had further connections with in person, outside going gently either by email, messenger, phone or in person.
DeleteOthers I do have a connection with, like yourself , but you are right Lizzy we are not friends in the true sense of the word x
I'll miss you.
DeleteAre u going anywhere ?
DeleteBefore I started "online journalling" back in the '90s, I waffled brutally: Was I doing it for attention? For that was embarrassing to me; a poor reason. It wasn't that, though. I was intrigued by websites, and wanted to jump in and have an online presence myself. But what could I possibly provide for regular content? I was a journaller and letterwriter and so that was my answer to how to dip my toes into the internet waters.
ReplyDeleteI don't write as openly as you do about personal relationships and such because it would be infringing on my partner's privacy (everyone knows everyone out here in the boonies) and it would create a lot of anger and resentment in our household, so often the positives are right out there while the negatives are not. Readers don't get to be dazzled by the trainwrecks! Hehe.
But the voice of the writer comes across, and that's what keeps readers coming back for years and, in both our cases, decades. And that is saying something that I find flattering. People we've never met take an interest in our lives and are beautifully understanding and supportive -- look at the lovely connections we make. People are kind and caring, and my readers, like yours that matter, are constant reminders of that. Thank you for updating regularly just as you do. It's perfect. -Kate
Paint a picture people can see
DeleteI was always told that by my English teacher
I've been told, people in general will put something in writing that they would never verbally state. At the very least, comments, should be polite. Good humor adds nicely to comments too.
ReplyDeleteAin’t that the truth
DeleteNo Ursula?? I would have thought she'd be busting her guts trying to comment on this !
ReplyDeleteShe’s been quiet for a while now
DeleteI know I irritate her John but I'm a bit worried about her x
DeleteThat’s sweet of u flis
DeleteThank you John-but I am aware I'm marmite x
DeleteYou are , please just try not to provoke people…lol.
DeleteI am very sorry that you think that as I never want to provoke anyone-I do pick up on what to me appears negative remarks and say so x
DeleteBig breaths
DeleteI'm in tears now - You have got me very wrong John xx
DeleteIt's not flis who provokes folks ... It's that horrible Anonymous person and, yes, Ursula, as well!
DeleteThankyou Marcia-That means a lot to me x
DeleteOh flis don’t be upset …I think some people don’t get your humour that’s all xx
Deletebut there is dogging where I walk-I did buy a large telescope it cost over £100 years ago second hand and I did adopt a dog named thatch already because his hair was similar to a cottage roof when he was rescued before they shaved him etc etc and I am a female x
DeleteKeep being you fils! I'm glad you are here. I also second Marcia's statement.
DeleteFlis and Susan ... Thank you! No one should have to cry in here unless it's because a dog has died or some other sad thing has happened!
DeleteFlis ... The first time I read about your "thatch," I had to chuckle until I realized you were talking about a dog!
😘 Have a good evening!!
Thank you Susan x
DeleteI comment the feeling the post most elicits in me.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your writing. It is why I read.
Learning is at top of my list for reading most things I read, you included.
You learn so much about folks ,just listening to them.
Listening is a lost art in my book.
I would never call you a saint, but you do have some saving graces. :)
Even Mother Theresa, by all accounts wasn’t a sweetie pie
DeleteSo you're saying you're bigger than Jesus now! LOL
DeleteSometimes I can't think of anything to say and so I do not comment. Usually I like to leave a little note because I appreciate the connection that the blogger has put out there for me so see. I think of my comment as a thank you for that connection and a positive response to the blogger.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a person has to get what is inside their head out onto paper. I know I do and it helps. I use my blog as a journal too so I can look back and remind myself of past happenings. I admire your honesty and read all your posts, very rarely comment on yours or anyone else's blog. I have few followers which is perfect because as I said, I use it for my own reference. I have these words of on my comments page:- As in the words of Thumper: If you can't say 'nuffin nice don't say 'nuffin at all.
ReplyDeleteYou have been my cup of breakfast tea together friend for years John. Like some friendships I might not be in touch for a while but I am still here X
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time old gal x
DeleteI will just second what many have already written in that it is a pleasure to read your blog. It contains warmth and reality of everyday living. And it opens up a new bit of the world for me.
ReplyDeletePeople all have very different personalities. They are unique. There is no right way, no wrong way to 'people'. We are all free to be ourselves.
ReplyDeleteSo. given the wide range of people, it stands to reason that blogs would relfect that. There is no right way, no wrong way to blog. We are all free to be ourselves.
It is good to get outside of one's self occasionally..that is what your life stories do for me. I enjoy your humor, your village, your neighbors, your friends, your animals..etc.
ReplyDeleteSometime you make my day and sometimes it just good to know you are in the world. You are a good book.
John, simply put: I'm so pleased to have found your daily "offering." I love writing but am too much of a coward to do so publicly. I do appreciate your bravery in doing so. I've enjoyed reading about your travels through life. It's been wonderful seeing you evolve. We have things in common: pets, gardens, music, the theatre, and I think you're created a lovely home in terms of the colors, etc. Your home appears to be as welcoming as your honesty. Hats off to you and many thanks! From the base of the mini-mountain in Maine where tulips and daffodils are blooming in my gardens.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your writing John. You're a good writer because you paint a picture and you also paint a personal picture which I appreciate even more.
ReplyDeleteI write usually to sort shit out. Often times I don't even know what's bugging me until I start to write. My daughter thinks it's a weird way to write but I do it for myself. I get things off my chest and it gives me perspective.
I read and enjoy the varying content of your blog each time you publish, but I seldom comment because you have so many commentators that I don’t think I could add any further wisdom.
ReplyDelete